January 31, 2012

when small things are big to me


   Today was my first day to go out walking again.  At 9am my husband (who works second shift) woke up and Amera, Joelle and I donned our sneakers, did our stretches and walked out into the crisp, cool, sunny morning.  We walked at a pretty good pace for 30 minutes.  It felt great to be out there.  I am amazed at how much writing out a schedule helps me.  It's posted on the wall so we can always look and see what we should be doing.  There are "cushions" here and there so that we can simply live and not be enslaved to keeping time with it.  It helped to look at it after our walk and get some direction for that period of time.  

What should we be doing now?  The well thought out schedule on the wall gives me (and my children) a ready answer.

   Walking may seem like a small thing to some, but for me it's big.  I refuse to fall prey to the "all or nothing" mentality.  If I aim too high, too soon, I may give up trying.  Right now we're just practicing getting out the door on time and getting our feet moving.  Period.  If I can be consistent in that for two weeks, that will be quite an accomplishment.  Then comes the jogging.  A little at a time.

   
   I've been noticing all the small beautiful things in my front yard.  The shape of this leaf intrigued me.  It almost looks as if a child cut it out with scissors.  

   After our walk, my daughter ran inside to grab my camera for me.  The sunlight casting it's warm glow all around was a sight to behold.  It was so quiet out there that I could hear the birds chattering.  Wonderful.

   All of the children were inside with dad.  I could take a few glorious minutes to snap some pictures.  I was definitely in my element.


Funny, I've lived here for over five years and never noticed these little things.
I wonder what other small treasures I've overlooked.


January 27, 2012

choices


Sometimes I wonder how many choices I make in any given day.  Probably hundreds.  

From the time I wake up (I choose when to do that) to the time I go to bed at night.  I'm making choices.

Some things I choose are like second nature to me because I have formed habits.  Habits can seem very hard to break, but every habit began with a choice and every habit ends in the same way.

It should be such an encouragement to believers in the Lord Jesus Christ that we can do all things through him.  Indeed he strengthens us. (Philippians 4:13)

God has also given us "all things that pertain to life and godliness". (2 Peter 1:3-4)

These truths give me courage.  I am not alone when I seek to make changes in my heart and life.  I can face any challenge with the power of my risen Lord...

...that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, 
the Father of glory, may give you a
spirit of wisdom and of revelation
in the knowledge of him,
having the eyes of your hearts enlightened,
that you may know what is the hope to which
he has called you, 
what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints,
and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power 
toward us who believe, according to the working
of his great might that he worked in Christ when
he raised him from the dead and seated him at his
right hand in the heavenly places, far above all
rule and authority and power and dominion,
and above every name that is named,
not only in this age but also in the one to come.
And he put all things under his feet and gave
him as head over all things to the church, which
is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all.
Ephesians 1:17-23

Our God is powerful.  You can't get more powerful than creating the entire universe and bringing the dead to life.  This is the same power at work within us!  How can we ever be defeated?

Just to share a couple of things that have been happening in our hearts and lives lately...
We have been trying to eat healthier.  Trying to make wiser choices.  Looking at nutrition labels.  Seeing just how many calories there are in a serving.  For me, it means thinking about the amount of calories in that cookie sitting on the counter top that I am thinking about munching on.  Would that be wise?  Maybe I should save that for later.  Maybe I should say no altogether.  I have a choice to make.  It's actually been kinda fun for us to look at calories and make wiser choices.

Another choice I am making daily is to get more involved with each of my kids on a personal level.  Sure, I could be content with what I am already doing but I want to do more.  It's not out of guilt, I think it's God's work in my heart as a mother.  And as a wife.  And as a child of God.  Shouldn't we always desire our relationships to be closer?  And stronger?

I'm making the choice to show more interest in each individual.  Not being consumed with what I have to do, but being consumed with them.

For example, when I'm walking from one room to another putting things away and one of my children sits there playing happily.  She is not demanding my attention nor is she asking for it.  How often have I just walked on by going about my business?  But what if I sit for just a few minutes and ask her what she's doing? Give her a hug?  I'm trying to do this more.  I get so busy about things.  I want my love to be something that envelopes my family every day.  Taking time to just be with them.

Some days it can seem like all our children are hearing from us is "No" and "Don't" and "Stop".  I want to outdo those with "Yes" and "Let's do" and "Let's go!".

I want my family to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I love to be with them.  That I choose to be with them when I could be doing something else I enjoy.  So many choices will present themselves each day.  I pray I will choose wisely.



   

January 26, 2012

enjoying their baby sister



   There may be one "official momma" in this house, but we have more than a few mommies in training who are enjoying this little one.  I am the one waking up throughout the night to feed this little sweetie, but throughout the day my daughters ask to hold her whenever they can.  

   Yesterday when Amera was snuggling with her on the couch, she asked "How do you ever put her down?!"  She didn't want to let her go.  I love this little one more than words can say, but there are times when I am ready to put her down.  Especially when we've been up all night together.  These girls may someday experience that side of motherhood.  That is where true love is proven.  ;)

   I am happy to report though, that Isabel only woke up once to eat  last night.  And boy did I need the rest!  So thankful for that.  


   If Isabel shows the slightest signs of waking up, you can be sure that Brienne will ask if she can hold her.  Sometimes I have to say no.  "She's content, leave her be for now."  "You have schoolwork to do" or "I have to feed her now."  It's sweet to watch them together.  Sometimes if Isabel is fussing in her bouncer, Brienne will hold her and Isabel falls asleep again, all cozy with her sister.  I am very thankful for all my helpers, especially when it's time to fix dinner and Isabel needs a little attention.  There are many arms anxious to hold her.  Is she spoiled?  Probably.


   This picture just makes me chuckle.  I love those little faces!  People often ask me if my kids are enjoying their baby sister.   Without a doubt, they delight in her.  They love watching her every move.  

   Last night as we were leaving church, I was carrying Isabel in her car seat.  When I walked outside with the children it was dark and Isabel's eyes got as round as saucers.  She looked so cute it made me laugh.  I tilted her seat to show one of my daughters, she laughed too.  One after another each of my children said "I want to see!"  and they'd chuckle at Isabel's funny expression.  It's a blessing to just share in the joy of being alive together.  I'm looking forward to enjoying more moments with my kids today.

January 25, 2012

speaking volumes








    So many words are spoken in the course of a day.  Tender words that express love and affection.  Impatient words that express frustration.  Words that correct and rebuke.  Words that encourage.  Words that heal.  Even without our words we communicate.  Our body language and facial expressions can speak volumes!  I have heard my children say that Isabel cannot understand us.  I tell them she understands much more than they think and she is learning more every time we speak to her.  And have you noticed how we all use sweet, soft tones when we speak to babies?  We wouldn't want to be harsh and scare them, right?  We want them to see that we are kind and loving people.  Shouldn't we maintain this reputation when they get older?

   I've been thinking a lot about the words that come out of my mouth.  As a mom I spend much time correcting my children when they use a rude tone, or an impatient, disrespectful tone.  It is difficult when I take a step back and actually listen to how I sound sometimes.

   I think that sometimes we are not even aware of how we sound to our kids, but God graciously reveals it to us.

   In the past week I have been thinking about patience.  My lack of patience often shows up in my words and the way I speak them.  I've been thinking about how being patient (or not) is a choice I make.  Patience is a fruit of the Spirit.  (See Galatians 5:16-26) I choose to walk in the Spirit or not.  I have all the strength in Christ I need.

   Some days it seems that one thing after another happens and there is conflict, there is disagreement, children have hurt feelings and I am right there guiding and directing and instructing when I reach a point that it feels like too much for me.  The other day I felt like I was in patience boot camp or something!  There were so many opportunities for me to choose how I was going to respond.  Each time before I spoke I was relying on God's grace to say it in a patient way (as opposed to being exasperated).  And to express love as well, even as I am correcting and teaching them.  And you know what?  He really does help me!  I am realizing that each and every moment...I am choosing how to respond.

   Have you ever been in a situation where you are being impatient or frustrated with your kids and someone unexpectedly knocks on the door or walks around a corner in public and suddenly you are struck with the realization that you should probably change your tone?  I have been there!  I confess it is easier to be sweet to our kids when others are watching, but what about when no one else is around?  It is very sobering to think that our children may be noticing a significant difference in the way we treat them publicly and privately.

   Lately, it's like I'm trying to take a step back and look at how my children must see me.  What expressions do they see on my face?  Is my tone irritated and annoyed?  Sometimes it really does take effort to speak in a loving and patient tone.  But I think the effort is worth the rewards.  Though I still fail sometimes, I am reaping the blessing of being closer to my kids than ever before.  God's ways truly are best.

 

   
   

January 24, 2012

when the work must wait


   I love this picture!  It makes me very happy.  I got down on the ground to take it (I'm a pretty serious photographer huh?  ;)

   It has been a long while since I have ran around outside with my kiddos.  Honestly, today I really felt a time crunch when I came home from my six week post-partum check-up and grocery shopping.  But this day was just way too beautiful to pass up!  

   The kids were more than happy to play outside since it has been raining here lately and I have had to say no whenever they ask to go out.  They were even happier when mommy decided to turn a blind eye to a not so tidy house and announce that I was coming outside to kick the ball around with them.  You should have heard their cheers.  Hmmm...something tells me I haven't been doing this enough lately...

   I enjoyed myself, we practically have our own little soccer team! And running around with the kiddos was a great introduction to the exercise plan I hope to implement in the coming days.  I began with prayer and a plan.  The next step is to get out there and walk!

January 16, 2012

Longing for...His rules?



   Rules. 

   Just the thought of them can make people uncomfortable.  Rules can sometimes seem to be strict, oppressive, and harsh.  

   I can remember a time in my life when I questioned which rules were valid and I kept some and broke others which resulted in me making up my own rules.  As a natural born rebel, I chafed under rules.  It seemed that the absence of rules meant freedom.  I was so deceived.

   The day I became a Christian, I was overwhelmed by God's forgiveness.  I was pleasantly surprised to find that Christianity was not cold and lifeless.  I found out that Christianity involves the most beautiful relationship imaginable.  A relationship based on love.  The love of God extended to me which resulted in my love toward him.  Jesus Christ obeyed the rules perfectly, my faith in him saved my law-breaking soul from condemnation.  It is new life that he has given me!  I was bound by my sin and now I am free!

   Yes, but free to do what?  My own thing?  No.  I have been freed from sin to do His thing.

   In my early days as a Christian I would often say "Being a Christian is not a bunch of dos and don'ts."  But is that really true?  In a sense yes and in a sense no.  What I was trying to express was that being a Christian is a God-initiated relationship that is full of life, joy, and peace.  I was trying to express that I didn't just decide one day to follow some list of do this and don't do that.  I was responding to the work of the Holy Spirit of God in my heart.  I was making choices based upon the desire to do what he says is right not what I thought was right.

   My heart was completely and utterly changed and made new!  All the foolishness of my own "rules" was made so clear to me.  My eyes were opened to the perfection, beauty, and preciousness of the rules of God.

    This relationship was begun by faith in the One who made all the rules.  And when God took on human flesh he kept all the rules.  We are the ones who cannot.  And that is precisely the point.  That is why Jesus came to save us.

We are hopeless law-breakers without him!

   His rules show us our need for a Savior from our law-breaking condition.  But once we are set free from bondage, we are not free to continue being law-breakers.   His law is holy, perfect and eternal.  Just as he is.  His law still governs, his law is still righteous.

   "Rules" are mentioned seventeen times in Psalm 119.  I love this Psalm!  Amera and I decided to take a little break from Colossians and study it this week.  It begins with the word "Blessed."
In other words you could say "Happy"...

Blessed are those whose way is blameless, 
who walk in the law of the LORD!

Walking in the law of the LORD, his rules governing us, guiding us, this is the way of true happiness!

Notice what the psalmist says about rules...

I will praise you with an upright heart,
when I learn your righteous rules. (vs.7)

With my lips I declare
all the rules of your mouth. (vs. 13)

My soul is consumed with longing
for your rules at all times.  (vs. 20)

I have chosen the way of faithfulness;
I set your rules before me.  (vs. 30)

Turn away the reproach that I dread,
for your rules are good.  (vs. 39)

And take not the word of truth utterly out
of my mouth, for my hope is in your rules.  (vs. 43)

When I think of your rules from of old, 
I take comfort, O LORD.  (vs. 52)

At midnight I rise to praise you, 
because of your righteous rules.  (vs. 62)

I know, O LORD, that your rules are righteous,
and that in faithfulness you have afflicted me.  (vs. 75)

I do not turn aside from your rules,
for you have taught me.  (vs. 102)

I have sworn an oath and confirmed it,
to keep your righteous rules.  (vs. 106)

Accept my freewill offerings of praise, O LORD,
and teach me your rules.  (vs. 108)

Righteous are you, O LORD,
and right are your rules.  (vs. 137)

Great is your mercy, O LORD;
give me life according to your rules.  (vs. 156)

The sum of your word is truth
and every one of your righteous rules
endures forever.  (vs. 160)

Seven times a day I praise you
for your righteous rules.  (vs. 164)

Let my soul live and praise you,
and let your rules help me.  (vs. 175)

  God's rules are righteous, they are good, and they are unchanging.  We cannot get around the fact that rules  tell us what we should and shouldn't do.  But this should be something we praise God for, not something we disdain.  Following a list of "dos and don'ts" is cold and lifeless if you have not first placed your faith and trust in Christ for the forgiveness of your sins and surrendered to him as Lord of your life.  For that is where our close walk with him begins.  After that, we should be able to to say with the psalmist

"My soul is consumed with longing for your rules at all times."



January 12, 2012

A soldier in His service


   I've been thinking back to the time I went to boot camp.  At the age of seventeen, I spent six weeks of my life training to be an Airman in the United States Air Force.  There were many others who had come to Lackland A.F.B., Texas for the same purpose, traveling by plane, train or automobile.

   We had come in order to learn what it means to be a soldier.  We did not know all of the ways in which those six weeks would affect us, or how much it would change us, but we were committed to letting our Training Instructors (T.I.'s) do what they would in order to train us to be soldiers.

   It was dark outside, as we filed onto a bus to be transported to the dorms, to the place where we would live and train for six weeks of our lives.  Life as we knew it would be changed dramatically.

   Once we arrived to our destination, men and women lined up on the cement underneath an overhang.  I'll never forget this moment.  I know we were all more nervous than ever, not knowing what was going to happen next.

   We all stood there in the clothes that we had traveled in.  This would be the beginning of a stage where we were referred to as "rainbows" because we had not received our uniforms yet.  It would be a couple of days before we would.  It was quite an awkward feeling walking around in your own clothes when so many others were in uniform.  With one glance, everyone would know right away that you were new to this.  I felt the disconnect and felt very out of place in my own clothes.  We had come to this place to take the plunge and identify ourselves with this group.  We couldn't wait to put those uniforms on!

   I was assigned to a dorm that consisted of about forty women.  We did everything together.  We learned that if one person failed, it affected not just them, but the whole group.  We learned to march in step and work together in unity.  We learned to shine our boots so well, we could nearly see our reflection in them.  Every piece of metal in our dorm room was brought to a spotless shine with "Never dull", not one piece of metal was overlooked.  Once we were given our uniforms, we were also given a little pair of scissors (I still have mine) and we used them to cut every little loose string we could find on our uniforms.  We folded our T-shirts into perfect little squares, folding the edges over a ruler to get them just right.  And of course our beds were immaculate.  In case you're wondering...no, I don't make my bed this way anymore!

   One of the first things we learned though, was our reporting statement.  Whenever we needed to speak to a superior, we had to begin with this statement: "Sir/Ma'am, Airman ______(last name) reporting as ordered."  We learned how to stand at attention when we said it.  I also learned (the hard way) that you don't have to yell when you say it.  Was it some war movie I saw or something?  The two T.I.'s standing there that day must've had a hard time restraining laughter as I stood there yelling my reporting statement.  Believe me, they yelled right back at me and just about scared me to death!

   Yes, training under these instructors was tough, and often frightening!  But in six short weeks, we found that we had quickly learned many aspects of being a soldier, every little thing they had us do had contributed to this.

"The Riverwalk" in San Antonio, TX.
We were allowed a special day out near the end of basic training.


   I remember a time when my T.I. called me into his office.  It was somewhere in the last couple weeks of training.  I had no idea why he was calling me in, but I marched into his office, stopped in front of his desk and did a "right face", so that I would be facing him.  I stood at attention and gave my reporting statement (this time without yelling).  I think back to this moment, this presenting of myself.  He had called, I had responded. Now I stood waiting for his instructions and ready and willing to obey his commands...

Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions.
Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, 
but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life,
and your members to God as instruments for righteousness.
For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.
Romans 6:12-14


   Since I had enlisted in the service, I obeyed what my commander told me to do.  I went where they told me to go.  I had surrendered myself to this and they had equipped me for it.  I would not be a soldier just by putting on a uniform.  I demonstrate that I am a true soldier when I obey my commander and that means that I no longer do what I want to do, or what someone else thinks I should do, but I look to my commander for orders.

   As Christians, we serve whoever we yield ourselves to.  The Bible teaches that we are either serving God or serving our flesh with its lusts and that we cannot do both at the same time...

{Jesus said}, "No one can serve two masters,
for either he will hate the one and love the other,
or he will be devoted to the one and despise the
other.  You cannot serve God and money."
Matthew 6:24

   I was reading a sermon online recently and I jotted down the following quote.  I regret that I did not jot down the source, but I think it's worth sharing anyway.

  "A Christian is not simply a person who gets forgiveness, who gets to go to heaven, who gets the Holy Spirit, who gets a new nature.  Mark this, a Christian is a person who has become someone he was not before.  A Christian in terms of his deepest identity is a saint, a born child of God, a divine masterpiece, a child of life, a citizen of heaven.  Not only positionally true in the mind of God, but true in actuality here on earth.  Not only judicially a matter of God's moral bookkeeping, but actually.  Becoming a Christian is not just getting something no matter how wonderful that something may be, it is becoming someone."

   God is my commander now.  But he is not a harsh taskmaster.  He is a loving, yet firm commander who has called me out of darkness into his marvelous light (1 Peter 2:9).  And it was not so that I would carry on living as I did before.  It was for service to my Savior and King.

"If you love me, you will keep my commandments."  John 14:15

   

January 11, 2012

expressions of love




These are the moments that a mother's heart can treasure.


Brienne loves to hold Isabel.  It was precious when they fell asleep together.


Amera singing to Isabel while I cleaned the kitchen after dinner.

Bright as sunshine!


Manny likes to give "Iss-bayl" her pacy.  

  Thanking God for these blessings this morning.




January 10, 2012

Crying out for wisdom


   Sometimes life seems to get a bit messy.  It seems I am constantly pushing to be more organized with the "stuff" of life.  Honestly, I don't know where to put everything.  And I don't know what to hold on to and what to let go of.  

   Sometimes "things" overwhelm me.  Sometimes I want to put all tiny plastic objects (i.e. Legos) under lock and key!  I regularly purge the house and fill a plastic bag with things that are no longer being used.  What do we really need?!  I long to simplify, to put everything in it's proper place.  But what if you just don't have all the "proper places"?  My home never looks like the pictures in the magazines!  Sadly, sometimes decluttering means piling things up in my bedroom until I can find a place for them.  

   I look for solutions, for ideas to help me to manage.  I rearrange some things and experience the joy of finding the answer to the problem.  But then something in life changes and I find that I am right back where I started, struggling to make things work well again.


   

   When it comes to being a wife to my husband and a mother to my children, I also long for everything to be as I think it should be.  Is everything in its "proper place"?  Am I doing all I should be?  Am I praying like I should be?  What do I need to do more?  What do I need to do less? 

   And there are things I just don't have solutions for right now.  There are teen concerns and toddler concerns and everything in between. 

 And my heart begs for an answer "How should I handle this God?!"

"I've been trying to solve this on my own and I haven't even asked you what I should do about it."

  And admittedly, my faith feels a little weak.  I almost feel as though I'm reaching out my weak hand of faith to God and asking him for solutions to problems that I've been spending so much time trying to figure out how to handle.  And in the back of my mind, maybe there is this small part of me that thinks this is too simple.  Too easy to just ask and receive wisdom.  At the same time I wonder why I waited so long to ask and I also wonder when the answer will come.  And I cling to the promise that he will give me the wisdom I am asking for.  I cling, though the winds of uncertainty are blowing hard.  I have to believe he is able to help me.  These things are hard for me, but they are not hard for him.

If any of you lacks wisdom,
 let him ask God
who gives generously to all without reproach,
 and it will be given him.  

But let him ask in faith
with no doubting, 
for the one who doubts
is like a wave of the sea 
that is driven and tossed by the wind.

For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from
the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.
James 1:5-8

  The magnitude of responsibility of being a parent overwhelms me sometimes.  And every parent has their strengths and weaknesses.  And it's the weaknesses that can be downright frightening. 

   It really hit me hard Sunday morning.  Since I was feeling ill, I would not be getting back to church as I had planned.  All of our family went except for Isabel and I.  I sat on the couch holding her and crying out all the frustrations of my heart to God.  Things I've been holding in.  Things I should have given to the One who knows all of the solutions.  I am so glad that I can just be utterly honest with him.  I don't have to say just the right spiritual things in just the right way.  Why do I sometimes feel like I have pull myself together before I approach him?  He knows where I'm at.  He knows there are parts of me that just feel like they are falling apart sometimes.  I can just pour my heart out to him.  All of my mess that I'm just not sure how to clean up.  All of it.  

He hears and he is able to help.  How can I ever doubt him?

"Hear my cry, O God,
listen to my prayer;
from the end of the earth I call to you
when my heart is faint.

Lead me to the rock that is higher than I, 
for you have been my refuge..."
Psalm 61:1-3a

January 4, 2012

We teach and we hope they will listen


   Sometimes we wonder how well our children are listening when they are being taught.  I often tell my children to look at me when I teach, to sit still, and stop fidgeting with this or that.  I really do try to keep their attention.  I often wonder how much is sticking in their minds.

   This past Sunday our church had one service in the morning.  We didn't know if there would be a class for the kids since the normal schedule was slightly modified.  We usually ask the kids about their classses, what they learned and how things went.  The more we ask, the better they are getting at remembering!  We even ask little Manny how it went in the nursery.  :)  Since Amera is older, she'll often share more than the others.  Sometimes we get very basic answers from our younger kids, but it's usually a good springboard for discussion over lunch.

   After lunch this past Sunday, I hadn't even gotten around to asking yet when my son (Javi) begins to share with me what he learned in his class.  With animated expression and enthusiasm he told me about the ten "girls".  Five of them were wise and five of them were foolish.  He just about told me the whole parable, ending very sadly with the door being shut to the marriage feast and the bridegroom saying "I do not know you."  (Mouse over this to read the full account: Matthew 25: 1-13)

   As he was speaking, I was amazed at how he recounted every detail.  I don't think we have ever taught him this parable before, though maybe he has heard it in Sunday School.  I also realized how unfamiliar I am with it.  I mean, I've read it, but I've never really thought about what it means.  

   Soon my husband, who had been listening from his seat in the dining room, came into the living room to join us.  Here's a perfect example of our spouse filling in where we lack.  I doubt I would have been able to explain this very well, but I sat in rapt attention as my husband shared the gospel with our son.  

   I've been studying the passage ever since.  I wish I could quote my husband's words from that afternoon, but a commentary from C.H. Makintosh (my first time reading from him, anyone ever heard of him before?) that I found online runs along a similar vein.   

.....................................................................................................
  "The parable of the ten virgins teaches, beyond all question, that when the Bridegroom comes, there will be foolish virgins on the scene, and clearly, if there are foolish virgins, all cannot have been previously converted. A child can understand this. We cannot see how it is possible, in the face of even this one parable, to maintain the theory of a world converted before the coming of the Bridegroom.
  But let us look a little closely at these foolish virgins. Their history is full of admonition for all Christian professors. It is very brief, but awfully comprehensive. "They that were foolish took their lamps, and took no oil with them." There is the outward profession, but no inward reality-no spiritual life-no unction-no vital link with the source of eternal life-no union with Christ. There is nothing but the lamp of profession, and the dry wick of a nominal notional, head belief.
   This is peculiarly solemn. It bears down with tremendous weight upon the vast mass of baptized profession which surrounds us, at the present moment, in which there is so much of outward semblance, but so little of inward reality. All profess to be Christians. The lamp of profession may be seen in every hand; but ah, how few have the oil in their vessels, the spirit of life in Christ Jesus, who have the Holy Ghost dwelling in their hearts. Without this, all is utterly worthless and vain. There may be the very highest profession; there may be a most orthodox creed; one may be baptized; he may receive the Lord's supper; be a regularly enrolled and duly recognized member of a Christian community, be a Sunday-school teacher; an ordained minister of religion; one may be all of this, and not have one spark of divine life, not one ray of heavenly light, not one link with the Christ of God.
   Now there is something peculiarly awful in the thought of having just enough religion to deceive the heart, deaden the conscience and ruin the soul-just enough religion to give a name to live while dead-enough to leave one without Christ, without God, and without hope in the world-enough to prop the soul up with a false confidence, and fill it with a false peace, until the Bridegroom come, and then the eyes are opened when it is too late.
   This it is with the foolish virgins. They seem to be very like the wise ones. An ordinary observer might not be able to see any difference, for the time being. They all set out together. All have lamps. And, moreover, all turn aside to slumber and sleep, and the wise as well as the foolish. All rouse up at the midnight cry, and trim their lamps. Thus far there is no apparent difference. The foolish virgins light their lamps-the lamp of profession lighted up with the dry wick of a lifeless, notional, nominal faith; alas! A worthless-worse than worthless-thing, a fatal soul-destroying delusion.
   Here is the grand distinction-the broad line of demarcation-comes out with awful, yea, with appalling clearness. "The foolish said unto the wise, Give us of your oil; for our lamps are going out." This proves that their lamps had been lighted, for if they had not been lighted, they could not go out. But it was only a false, flickering, transient light. It was not fed from a divine source. It was the light of mere lip profession, fed by the head of belief, lasting just long enough to deceive themselves and others, and going out at the very moment when they most needed it, leaving them in the dreadful darkness of eternal night.
"Our lamps are going out." Terrible discovery! "The Bridegroom is at hand, and our lamps are going out. Our hollow profession is being made manifest by the light of His coming. We thought we were all right. We professed the same faith, had the same shaped lamp, the same kind of wick, but alas! We now find to our unspeakable horror, that we have been deceiving ourselves, that we lack the one thing needful, the spirit of life in Christ, the unction from the Holy One, the living link with the Bridegroom. Whatever shall we do? O ye wise virgins, take pity upon us, and share with us your oil. Do, do, for mercy's sake, give us a little, even one drop of that all-essential thing, that we may not perish forever."
   It is all utterly vain. No one can give of his oil to another. Each has just enough for himself. A man can give light, but he cannot give oil. The latter is the gift of God alone. "The wise answered, saying, Not so; lest there be not enough for us and you, but go ye rather to them that sell and buy for yourselves. And while they went to buy, the Bridegroom came and they that were ready went in with him to the marriage; and the door was shut." It is of no use looking to Christian friends to help us or prop us up. No use in flying hither and thither for some one to lean upon-some holy man, or some eminent teacher-no use building upon our church, our creed, or our sacraments. We want oil. We cannot do without it. Where are we to get it? Not from man, not from the church, not from the saints, not from the fathers. We must get it from God; and He, blessed be His name, gives freely. "The Gift of God is eternal life, through Jesus Christ our Lord."
   But, mark, it is an individual thing. Each must have it for himself. No man can believe, or get life for another. Each must have to do with God for himself. The link which connects the soul with Christ is intensely individual. There is no such thing as second-hand faith. A man may teach us religion, or theology, or the letter of Scripture; but he cannot give us oil; he cannot give us faith; he cannot give us life. "It is the gift of God." Precious little word, "gift." It is like God. It is free as God's air; free as His sunlight; free as His refreshing dew-drops. But, we repeat, and with solemn emphasis, each one must get it for himself. "None can by any means redeem his brother, nor give to God a ransom for him, that he should still live forever and not see corruption. For the redemption of their soul is precious, and it ceaseth forever". (Psalm 49:7-9)
   What sayest thou to these solemn realities? Art thou a wise or foolish virgin? Hast thou gotten life in a risen and glorified Saviour? Art thou a mere professor of religion, content with the mere ordinary dead routine of church-going, having just sufficient religion to make thee respectable on earth, but not enough to link thee with Heaven?
   We earnestly beseech thee to think seriously of these things. Think of them now. Think how unspeakably dreadful it will be to find thy lamp of profession going out and leaving thee in obscure darkness-darkness of an everlasting night. How terrible to find the door shut behind that brilliant train which shall go in to the marriage; but shut in thy face! How agonizing the cry, "Lord, Lord, open unto us!" How withering, how crushing the response, "I know you not."
   Oh do give these weighty matters a place in thy heart now, while yet the door is open, and while yet the day of grace is lengthened out in God's marvellous long suffering. The moment is rapidly approaching in which the door of mercy shall be closed against thee forever, when all hope shall be gone, and thy precious soul be plunged into black and eternal despair. May God's spirit rouse thee from thy fatal slumber, and give thee no rest until thou findest it in the finished work of the Lord Jesus Christ, and at His blessed feet in adoration and worship."


January 3, 2012

I'm not one to rush these things


   Little hands, little footsies, and big brown eyes.  In a word--WONDERFUL!  I've joked that God made little babies so cute so we wouldn't mind so much when they wake us up in the middle of the night.  Even if it's  two in the morning I love soft sweet baby skin and sweet little cooes that seem to say "Mommy, I love you."


cuddle time with daddy



   As a family, we have been through a lot together these past couple of weeks.  Not long after I came home from the hospital with Isabel we had to take her to the doctor for a weight check because she had dropped about a pound in the hospital.  Just trying to get out the door with everything I needed (including my sanity) was overwhelming.  All of my emotions just seemed to burst at that point.  We were running a little late too, which added to the stress of it all.  It felt like it was way too soon to be going anywhere!  I just figured if we were late that we had a pretty good excuse for it. : )

   This past Sunday I stayed home with Isabel while the rest of the family went to church.  Personally, I try not to rush my return to normal activity.  There are many dynamics and logistics that come into play when a family  is getting ready for church on Sunday morning.  Not only do you need plenty of time to get ready, but you also need a good cushion for the unexpected things that may come up.  It was enough for me to just make sure that my kids were all ready to go and not have to worry about myself and our newborn baby.  Especially since we needed a big cushion of time to deal with some discipline issues which happened back to back.  Oh!  It's hard to deal with those things on Sunday morning!  

   Once the kids were all ready to go, and all of our issues were dealt with, we actually had a little time to snap some pictures.  I took advantage of the opportunity as my children were all smiles at this point!

Clara, 4 years old

Javier, 6 years old and Clara

Brienne, 8 years old and Manuel, 2 years old

Manny LOVES his new backpack!  Maybe a little too much.
According to the nursery worker he did not want to take it off!  Oh dear.



Joelle, 10 years old and Clara

He often gives her kisses and says "She's sooo cute!"


Amera (almost 16!) and Manny

Time to go to church!
"Bye mom!"

They all came home in the afternoon to find me taking a much needed nap with Isabel.

January 1, 2012

more and more



Ahhhh...a fresh new year.  So full of possibilities.  So much desire for growth and change.  

The main thought on my mind lately is "I don't __________ enough."  I put a blank there because there are many things to fill in that blank.  

Things like love, pray, speak with graciousness, hug, smile at my kids, give, plan, exercise, or even have more fun!

There is much that I want to do more of in the coming year.  

In all my desire to do more, I am trying to resist the temptation to become discouraged.  These seem to be areas that I always seem to want to improve in, I never seem to be satisfied.  Should I be?  Probably not.  But  I am taking encouragement from the book of 1 Thessalonians this morning.  Notice how there is encouragement in what they are already doing, and there is also encouragement to do more, to increase and to abound.

...may the Lord make you increase and abound
in love for one another and for all, 
as we do for you,
so that he may establish your hearts blameless
in holiness before our God and Father, at the 
coming of our Lord Jesus with all his saints.
1 Thessalonians 3:11-13


Finally, then, brothers, we ask and urge you
in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us

 how you ought to walk and to please God

just as you are doing, 
that you do so more and more.

For you know what instructions we gave
you through the Lord Jesus.  

For this is the will of God, your sanctification...

1 Thessalonians 4:1-3a


Now concerning brotherly love
you have no need for anyone to write to you,
for you yourselves have been taught by God
to love one another, for indeed that is what you
are doing to all the brothers throughout Macedonia.

But we urge you, brothers, 
to do this more and more...
1 Thessalonians 4:9-10


   God certainly knows how frail I am.  He knows how prone I am to get off track.  He knows how often I will need to adjust my focus and my priorities.

   Yet I am also aware of his love, his encouragement, his strength in my weakness...his grace.

Every day, one step at a time, moment by moment,  I want to love him more and love others more.  

I'm so excited about 2012.  I want to abound.  I want to increase.  More and more, in every way, I want to live my life for the glory of God.

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly
than all that we ask or think, 
according to the power at work within us,

to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus
throughout all generations, forever and ever.  Amen.
Ephesians 3:20-21
   
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