Tuesday mornings with Joelle

Joelle and I met for the second time this morning.  The first time was last Tuesday around 6am.  I introduced the Bible study we would be using and walked her through the first couple of questions.  We worked on our study throughout the week and met again this morning before all of my other children got up.

Can I just tell you how much of a blessing this has been to me?!  I am so glad I started doing this with Joelle!  I decided to use the "Basics for Believers" study because I already had it on hand.  But I'm so glad we're using it because it's so basic and establishes the foundation of our faith.  It's also very clear and easy enough for a young person to understand.  

We used a tally system for memorizing our verse.  We drew a little chart at the bottom of the page labeled with the days of the week.  Each day our goal is to say it at least three times and make tally marks.  This is such a good method if you feel like it's hard to memorize verses.  It also makes it very "doable"...like less of a mountain to climb.  Each day I answered two or three questions and it took me about five minutes.  Which means I can still continue to study other things.  In other words this whole venture is adding so much to my life rather than taking away.

And a little confession...I realized this morning how rarely I pray with Joelle one on one.  Especially how little we pray together when there isn't a problem we are dealing with.  Wow...so thankful for our time this morning.

We were able to talk about so much in the space of an hour.  Here are a few highlights...

~only those who have the Son have eternal life (1 John 5:11-12)  You either have him or you don't (by faith)

~falling short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23) is like shooting an arrow and missing the bull's eye.  We all sin and fall short.

~what it means to repent of sin

~we still sin as Christians but it should grieve us and we should desire to turn from it.  God is always willing to forgive (1 John 1:9) and he promises to cleanse us.

~according to 1 John 5:13 we CAN KNOW that we have eternal life if we have believed in Jesus.  

~we spoke about prayer...confessing our sin to God and how we take our frustrations and annoyances to God and ask him to help us...which led to talking about building our "house" rather than tearing it down (Proverbs 14:1). 

Because really it's one or the other.  Every thought, every action, every word.  Are we building up or tearing down...brick by brick...

I was so edified by this time with my daughter.  And maybe, just maybe...she was edified too.

Oh, and I'm really excited about a little trip to Hobby Lobby with her today.  We've both been ill lately so it'll be great to go out together!

Maybe there is a little something more you could do with your children?  

Even if you keep it simple and start small...

Go for it!  You won't regret it.  Our time with them is so short.

Love your children, no matter what

I know it's hard to believe, especially when you see a face like that, but some days (albeit few and far between) I struggle to delight in my children.  There are days where it seems like all they are doing is bickering with each other.  And all I am doing is resolving conflict.  It's exhausting work.  

Recently, we sat down to eat dinner and things just kept happening.  It was like the children just kept doing things that they ought to know better than to do.  I'm serious, it was like they could not do anything right that day.  It was a marvel to me!

"Seriously?!  Again?!"

They were little things, but I kept having to correct those little things and I was getting tired of it.  The little things were adding up to something big and I had a headache...I just wanted peace.  Ever feel like that?

I know I've said it before, but God has given me so many opportunities to grow through mothering my children.  What I'm about to tell you is going to sound so simple that you might be tempted to just gloss over it and not give it any real attention.  But here goes...

You can choose joy in spite of your circumstances.

Don't let that go over your head.  If you know the Lord Jesus Christ, you can choose.  I know what it's like when the offenses seem to pile up until it feels like you have a black cloud looming overhead.  

You put a little extra force into shutting that cabinet door...you set the plates down on the table as hard as you can without breaking them...your lips are pursed and your children know that you do not want to be with them at all.  When the baby cries (again!) you snatch her up and grip her tight (in a bad way) and she notices.  She can sense your frustration.  When the toddler misbehaves (again!) you grab his hand and march off to the room...and you are thinking "My children shall know the WRATH of mommy!"  

We wouldn't want to admit it to anyone else...but this is the ugly side, the side that comes out when we are being selfish and impatient.  The side we pray with all our heart to change.  Well guess what?

It doesn't magically happen.  It happens when we choose.  I know it's hard.  I know the feelings that well up inside you that you feel like you have no control over.  It's a lie.  You have God's holy spirit if you have placed your faith in Christ and the fruit of the spirit is self-control. (Galatians 5)  

That evening I mentioned earlier, where the kids couldn't seem to do right, I remembered that I could choose how to respond to this.  I could let it affect me...and cause me to be frustrated, grumpy, angry, hateful...or I could choose to love.  To love my children.  In spite of their multiple offenses.  I taught them, I reminded them, I corrected them.  But after that, I let it go.  Love bears, believes, hopes, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13).  Don't think that only applies to the your lost neighbors.  Apply it in your home with your kids.

When I was finished eating, I stood up and took my plate to the kitchen.  I stood in there and thought about how the evening could go one of two ways.  I could let that black cloud loom and dwell on my frustration or I could choose to delight in my kids anyway.  In other words, hold a grudge or let it go.  I decided that with God's help, I could choose joy.  I could smile and hug and send them off to bed without a doubt in their minds that mommy loves them no matter what.

How will you choose to respond the next time your kids are gettin' on your nerves?

Pray.  Ask God for help.  And choose joy.

The ups and downs of teething

Lunchtime.

So far so good.  She's taking her food and swallowing it...ok most of it!

Sippy cup--check!

Wet washcloth in case she wants to chew on something--check!

Awwww...such a happy little one!....

NOT for long.

See below.

Is anybody else going through this teething bit?  Pun not intended.  (At least not at first.)  ;)

Isabel's mood instantly changes from glad to sad and back to glad again.

We're rollin' with it.  Not always likin' it, but we're rollin' with it.

I've been through this enough times to know that this season will pass.

It's normal.  She's grouchy.  I would be too.

The wet washcloth does wonders.  Ever tried it?

Oh, here it comes again.

Poor babe.  We'll do whatever we can to help ya through.  :)

She chewed on that spout like a mad woman!

Can't wait to see dem cute little teefers!

Facebook // the blessings are just a click away

{Follow this link to read part one: Facebook // Facing our sin head on}

Could Facebook really be something that enriches your life?  

Could it actually be a valuable tool to strengthen relationships rather than weaken them?

My answer to both is a resounding yes!  We can connect with people in amazing ways with Facebook.  We can connect in ways that telephone, email and even face to face cannot provide.  Does that last statement surprise you?  Don't worry, I'm not saying that Facebook can replace face to face interaction.  But it can definitely enhance it as we get to know a little more about the people in our lives currently and the people we used to know.

I understand that in addition to what I wrote in my last post, that there are other negative aspects of Facebook.  Maybe you're thinking about all the things you would rather not have known about people.  Like  the sad pictures you see of young girls trying to look sexy and alluring with their lips puckered for a kiss.  Seriously?  Do they realize how pitiful this is?  Or the conversations that go from bad to worse as people argue to make their point, or maybe just get one up on the other person...yes it can get ugly.  But you know what?  This is life.  There are things that grieve us outside of Facebook.  They are sad realities that Facebook seems to magnify.  Because it's so easy to throw it out there from the privacy of your own home.  It certainly gives us plenty to pray about.

I could go on about the issues, but this post is supposed to be about the good things, right?  But before I get to that, I have a confession to make.  Ready?  Ok, here goes...before I started using Facebook, I thought I was more spiritual than people who did.  Here's another confession...after I started using Facebook, I thought I was more spiritual because I didn't spend as much time on it as so and so seems to spend.  You know that little "judge 'o meter" we have that makes us think that we know how much time people spend on Facebook because it seems like they are always on there.  Or they respond to our messages right away.  Or they post three times a day...whatever it is that tips us off and we think we've got them pegged.  

Whether you use Facebook or not, please don't make general judgements and think that everyone who uses it sits around idly clicking away while ignoring the rest of the world around them.  Yes, it happens, but we are working on getting that under control, right?  We all have to learn when enough is enough and when we need to log off.  But the misconception that it is a complete waste of a person's time needs to be cleared up.  There are a great many ways to use our time and this is just one of them.  Anything good could get out of control...you could even spend too much time on housecleaning!  My point is that Facebook can be a good thing that we use wisely, we just have to learn how.  

If all I could do on Facebook is mutually share photos, that would make it worth it.  I love that photos can be quickly shared and family and friends can comment.  That is so awesome.  That blesses me.

But there are other things.  Such as messaging.  You know the thrill you get when you've got a letter in the mail?  I know people think that electronic communication is not the same, but I love "getting mail" on Facebook too.  Blesses me a ton!  And I love to send messages from time to time too.  Honestly, I was a terrible "snail mailer".  Facebook is something I can easily access and I don't even need a stamp.  (Yes, I agree, snail mail is still very special and in a class of its own.) 

Some examples of private messages include: 

~old friends and acquaintances who have questions about God or want to share how God has been working in their life.

~fellow moms asking "mommy" questions. 

~a friend apologizing for a little thing they regret (it's not always easy to meet face to face, especially for those "small" things).  

~a family member is just thinking of you and wants to see how you are doing.

~an invitation for a cup of coffee

~an offer from a college student to babysit.

~an offer for help when we are facing a trial

~a reminder that they are praying for you

Some examples of status updates include:

~wedding pictures, even old ones where men and women thank God for their marriages

~pictures of special moments in people's lives

~pictures of neat things people see

~pictures of kids and growing families

~links to articles that have blessed, encouraged and edified

~and sometimes people post things that make you chuckle or laugh out loud (LOL!)...we all need a good laugh sometimes don't we?

~and of course when people let you in on a challenging situation they are facing, you can pray for them.

Maybe you can think of more?  I probably could.  But for now I will end with something that has blessed me and that I would like to see more of.  Older women encouraging younger women.  Discipleship.  It's happened and I hope that it happens more in the days to come.  From sharing helpful articles, to posting things from their heart...we see their testimony online.  When little messages are sent and they encourage us that they are praying.  It's priceless.  And I think Facebook makes it really easy to do.  I love to see the older women online setting an example.  I hope to see more older women getting involved in this way.  Can you imagine the possibilities?

As with anything else we have to set parameters for ourselves for our Facebook use.  Be thoughtful about it.  Be purposeful.  Decide when you will check it and post on it and how long you will spend on it and stick to it.  It's a constant work in progress for me.  I have decided what I want to see in my news feed.  Sometimes I pop in and pop right back out if I don't have any messages.  Like anything else, I am trying to keep it under control.  Sometimes you can even scroll through your friends list and pray for people.  And then you can send them a message to let them know!  

Facebook does take a significant amount of time to set up when you first get started.  But in my opinion it is definitely worth it.  There is so much that we can do to encourage and edify one another.

Facebook // "Facing" our sin head on

For a long while before I set up a Facebook account--I wasn't so sure it was a good idea.  

Those were the days before I had a blog.  My husband was a seminary student and the only electronic communication  I had (besides a home phone) was email.  We didn't even have cell phones!  We are living proof of what Americans can live without if they have to.  :)

At that time in my life, I didn't really understand how Facebook worked.  To me, it seemed invasive to privacy.  I remember looking around a bit at a few profiles.  The "friends" lists gave me the impression that people were boasting about their friends or being exclusive.  As a Christian in the body of Christ, this made me uncomfortable.  Was favor and partiality being publicly displayed?  I felt like I was knowing too much about people.  It seemed like I was seeing too much of their personal, private lives.  I wasn't sure I wanted to get wrapped up in all this online relationship.  Wasn't face to face always better?  Wouldn't this take away from that?  I really had no idea what it would be like.

I also felt the concern that it would take too much time.  That is still a concern.  But really, as with anything we spend time on, we have to be careful and mindful about it.  In other words, I decided that I shouldn't just avoid it because it was a potential time waster.  I should learn to use it wisely.

The reason I wanted to write about Facebook is because I have experienced being on both sides of the fence.  I've gone from being an opposer to a supporter and I'd like to share why.

I've already shared why I opposed it at first.  But before I get to where I am at currently, I'd like to guide you along a few bumps in the road.  

I've been through some ups and downs with Facebook.  I have experienced some "lows" and questioning it's value and nearly giving it up altogether.  I'd like to share some of the emotions and responses I have experienced and you see if maybe you can relate.  Here is the list and the things that have gone through my mind while logged in to Facebook.

I have been negative and critical..."She's bragging about the flowers her husband gave her (eye roll).  Really?  Are we all supposed to be jealous that you have the perfect husband who does sweet things for you?...Wait a second!  Shouldn't I be rejoicing that she has received a blessing?  

I have felt the sharp twinge of jealousy..."I wonder why I didn't get invited to that party"...which turns into self-pity... "Looks like they had fun without me"...and then comes resentment..."Shouldn't they be more sensitive to the fact that not everyone was invited and these pictures just make us feel like we missed out? 

I have judged motives..."She's just trying to show off.  Posting about how she read a Bible story to her kids.  I didn't do that with my kids today and now I feel guilty.  She's probably a better mom who never forgets to do those things."

I have fallen into the trap of comparing..."Their life seems more adventurous than mine.  People comment on their posts more than mine.  She looks better pregnant than I did and everyone else seems to think so too"...what ways have you compared?

Those are some pretty unloving responses, all taking place in the privacy of my own home and in my heart.  Does any of this sound familiar to you?

Let's face it, Facebook brings some sinful attitudes to the surface.  But wait...before you deactivate your account...are you willing to admit that?  I know I had to.  I had to recognize that sometimes I was NOT responding in love.  And God noticed.

See, I think that because it's just us, all alone with the computer screen that we react and we stew on things.  And it can even cause us to get a little depressed.  This is NOT the outcome that God desires.

I am not going to say that everyone ought to be on Facebook or that a person should never deactivate their account.  If you have done that, I respect your decision.  I'm just saying that I do not think that we should be quick to run away from a tool that can be used in a profitable and God honoring way.  We will have to deal with our sin and face it head on.  But we shouldn't be so quick to say that it is Facebook's fault.  We just have to learn to respond in a way that honors God.  We have to respond with the love of Christ.

In my next post, I'll share some of the bright side of Facebook and how it has contributed to my life.

Love is patient and kind;

love does not envy or boast;

it is not arrogant or rude.

It does not insist on its own way;

it is not irritable or resentful;

it does not rejoice at wrongdoing,

but rejoices with the truth.

Love bears all things, 

believes all things, 

hopes all things, 

endures all things.

Love never ends.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

Follow this link to the next post: Facebook // the blessings are just a click away

movies // my experience from every angle

We mommies pride ourselves on being discerning and wise about what our children watch.  We have our standards and our opinions about things.  We have our Bible knowledge.  We have boundaries that we have set.  The challenging thing is that we have set them in different places.  What one person allows, another person objects to.  And I understand that even though I consider the things that I watch  to have "passed the test", some people might object to it.  And I can usually tell what those objections might be.  And I may still choose to watch it anyway.

So we go through this process of watching, evaluating, saying "No, we won't be watching that and here's why".  Or we don't even attempt to watch it at all because we know there are certain objectionable elements in it.  Or, on the flip side, we might conclude that it is mostly a very good movie, "but these are the issues kids"...

I'm just going to come right out and say it...this whole movie thing has been HARD for me.  I went through a VERY picky period with movies.  I would shun things with the slightest problem.  I grew weary of discerning and evaluating everything.  So one by one, movies got the boot.  And let me tell you, we weren't left with much.

Oh, it was a very thoughtful process.  I could articulate why and what the problems were.  It wasn't totally mindless and unreasonable.  But I do think I was a little too quick to judge.

This is my heart...I want to be wise, I want my children to be influenced in good ways.  I teach them about Christ.  My greatest heart's desire is to be like Him and for my children to learn his ways.  Sometimes it feels like I am swimming upstream.  Especially when you throw movies into the mix.  I have often felt like movies were working against me.  Exposing my children to things I didn't want them exposed to.  I mean, even in Sleeping Beauty, she meets this guy for the first time, alone in the woods, and suddenly begins to dance with him...both of them professing their love!  Seriously?!  Are you really being a wise young woman Aurora?  I mean, I'm not against love but would we want our daughters to act like that?  Or our sons?  Just sayin'.

That is just one example of things that go through my mind, even from some of the most widely accepted movies.  Sometimes I am pretty good at picking them apart.  Though I admit, not always.  There is probably a whole lot I miss.  But I try.

I consider myself to be a very conservative movie viewer.  I try to be very careful about what we watch in our home.  I recognize the profound impact that movies and television had on me growing up and in my early adulthood before I became a Christian.  I have gone from a "no boundaries" philosophy to a "we better be careful and honor God with this" philosophy.  And it has not been an easy transition. It is a great challenge to find movies without any objectionable material.

After becoming a Christian and considering the impact that movies could have on me and my kids, I was sobered.  I felt the tremendous responsibility of leading my children down the right paths.  I noticed objectionable things in movies.  I thought, "I don't want them to say that, act like that, think like that!"  I felt afraid of things that would be subtly or overtly taught to my children.  I lamented that they seemed to be like sponges, soaking up everything they laid eyes on.

While I still firmly believe that I need to be a vigilant parent, and that we need to set boundaries in our family, I am gradually moving the markers a little.  I have actually discovered that there are some good stories out there, though rarely without some aspect that I don't like.  There are movies that I completely rejected at one point and now decided to give it a try and I find that it's actually a good story, even with some noble qualities.  Who knew?

Is it wrong for me to overlook an objectionable element here and there?  I'm struggling with this.  Because I know I could easily go off the deep end and allow for a great many things and where will I draw the line?

If there is something wrong, I am recognizing it for what it is and I am thinking about what God says about it and I am agreeing with him.  I am trying to teach my children to do the same.

But we can only go so far with this.  There are things that will not flash on our screen.  There are things we will not listen to.  It doesn't matter how "realistic about sin" it is.  We will not subject ourselves to it.

I'm learning to go through a process.  I often read reviews before sitting down to watch a movie, but the other night I neglected to do this and regretted it.  We sat down to watch a highly recommended "family film" and we were bombarded by immorality and children dishonoring their parents.  It was Disney.  It was PG.  I admit it's tough to know exactly when to stop the film.  Different people have set different barometers with this.  I am trying to figure out where mine is.  I used to get very uncomfortable with the slightest show of a poor attitude or disrespect, but sometimes I find that if I keep watching, it can actually turn out really well and the person learns an important lesson.  The question is...is the bad behavior being glorified or presented as a good thing?  And how does it turn out?

But when do you stop the movie?  After the first, second, or third...offense?  The really challenging thing is when the movie is funny.  "But it's so funny!"  True, but at what expense.  The movie we watched the other night, played for about 45 minutes.  And it was funny, though sometimes very crass.  But there came a point where we could not go on.  We were getting bombed.  And we turned it off.  And while I don't always want to go through this process with my kids, I think it's good for my kids to see problems with some things.    To learn to look at things through a biblical lens.  And to see (from their parents) what it's like to act on convictions.  Even if it means stopping a movie.  And don't be afraid to do so.  And don't be afraid to say that something has to go.  You are the parent, you decide what gets watched in your house.

Most of the time, if there is a movie we want to see, I "screen" it after the kids go to bed.  It's been neat to have my sixteen year old join my husband and I.  I just have to make sure I have enough energy to stay awake!  This gives us an opportunity to evaluate it together and to discuss it from every angle.  We determine if the movie has worth.  It may have a few slightly objectionable elements, but overall what good qualities does it possess?  Later, my husband and I discuss if we want to share it with the whole family...will it be a "watch it once" but not have it be a regular part of the diet movie?

This is why I rarely purchase movies.  I prefer the library.  First, it's free.  Second, the movie goes back when we're done.  It only comes back into our house if we really want it to.  If we change our minds about it (which we have done many times) we can just take it back.

After we watch a movie with the kids, we have casual talks about it.  We ask them questions in order to get them to think about what they have seen.  We talk about how the characters handled situations and how God would have wanted them to handle it.  I enjoy these talks, I try to engage them as much as I can and I teach them through it.  I confess, sometimes I feel inadequate and I struggle (in my mind) with how I am going to explain something to them.  But I keep trying.  I attempt it.  I share my heart with them.  I try to set an atmosphere where they are encouraged to ask questions.

Often, I will hear my children discussing an element in a movie among themselves while I am fixing dinner or something and I tell them "That is an excellent topic to talk about over dinner".  And we do.

And that's where I'm at.  Making decisions one movie at a time.  It's not easy, but I've decided I don't want to give up all together.  To me, a good family movie that we can laugh or cry with and be impacted by it's powerful story, is worth the hunt.

I hope this post wasn't confusing.  I tried my best to articulate something that I have deeply struggled with and even cried in frustration over.  I only hope that what the Lord has taught me up to this point can in some small way help someone else who is facing the same things.  I am travelling along this road full of dangerous detours just like you are.  Thankfully we have God to lead us and teach us his ways.  Let's just make sure that our movies never become more valuable and desirable to us than our God.

What struggles have you had with movies?  I'd love to hear your perspective.

Happy learning!

Clara enjoys learning about the alphabet at "Starfall.com."

The goofball brother was an added bonus.

I was a thief until God made me rich

I remember a dream I used to have frequently when I was a young girl.  I would find myself surrounded by brightly colored treasures or gobs of money.  And the funny thing about it, is that I would have an awareness that I was, in fact, dreaming.  Yet I was convinced (at least in my dream state) that if I held the treasure close, I could will myself to wake up and then poof the treasure would be there with me, in my bed.  And it would be the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me!

I was a greedy little thing.  And I wanted things the easy way.  Just dream it and it's mine.

Well, my dreams never delivered, but there were other ways.

Like shoplifting.  I would walk into a store, grab what I wanted and walk back out again.  I did this with jackets, clothes, shoes, make-up and candy.  The candy I even sold to kids at school...had to make a profit you know.  I had my own little business.

This getting something for nothing was a thrill.  And I was getting away with it.  I thought I was pretty smart with all my tactics.  I'd tuck in my shirt, wear a big jacket and stuff my shirt full of candy.  That was at a gas station on the way to school.  I'd walk into a department store, slip on a pair of shoes or a jacket and walk right out wearing my loot.  Everything was going great.  It was like a dream come true...until...I got caught.

First, my parents found evidence in the form of letter.  There it was in plain writing, I can't remember if it was what I had done or what I had planned to do but either way, it was incriminating.  I was grounded for an entire summer.  This was bad, but not bad enough to stop me.  

Next, I was caught by an undercover officer, stealing a tube of lipstick.  Little did I know, he was watching my every move and when I walked out of the store with that lipstick in my pocket, he followed me.  I was put in the back of a police car while they contacted my parents.  This was on an Air Force base, mind you, and I was such a hardened criminal that I didn't even care that this stealing of mine would reflect poorly on my dad or that he would be hearing about it from his superiors.  This was all about me and getting what I wanted, no matter what it cost anyone else.  That is the horror of sin.  It destroys.  And often the most unsuspecting victim is you.

The last time I remember shoplifting was at a mall.  It was shoes.  I walked right out of Mervyn's with a stylish pair of duds and an undercover officer walked out with me.  They brought me back to the room with all their little black and white TV's and my heart sank as I watched my friend, looking scared, looking around the store for anyone who might be watching her while she flung hangers across the rack in an effort to look like a casual shopper.  The expression on her face made an indelible imprint on my mind.  I felt so sorry.  This didn't seem "worth it" anymore.  The fact is, it never was.

You know, it's strange, but I don't think my parents were ever contacted about that one.  All I remember is that they let us go home.  I walked about seven miles that day.  That's all I remember of it.

That was the last time I shoplifted, and it wouldn't be until years later, as a Christian adult, that I would feel true grief over what I did.  I felt such sorrow for what I put my parents through...for how I grieved God...

Even as an adult, opportunities for greed have presented themselves.  Like, several years ago when the cable guy came to trouble-shoot our internet connection and told us that we actually had a cable connection that we could use without paying for it...

Or not long ago, when the exterminator guy tells us that if we call the company about those bees getting in the house to just say we have an ant problem instead of a bee problem because they charge $100 for bee problems but it's the same chemical (but wouldn't that be lying Mr. Exterminator man?)...

(Shouldn't these guys be more faithful to the companies they work for?)

Or a few months ago, when I walked out of Walmart with some item in my cart under my purse that was unintentionally not payed for.  I admit, the only temptation I felt here was related to the fact that I didn't want to have to go back in and get in line again!  I was tired and wanted to go home.  But I knew it was the right thing to do.

I loaded up my stuff in my car and I walked right back in to Walmart to pay for that item.  The cashier seemed surprised that I would come back in to pay for such a small thing and I wanted to tell her...it's because I love God that I came back...I wanted to give all the glory to him.  Maybe I was too afraid of sounding cheesy...so I just smiled.  It was such a quick process, and she had other customers...but part of me wanted to climb up on the conveyor belt (ok, maybe not the conveyor belt that could be dangerous! ;) and shout for all the shoppers to hear "I am no longer a thief!  And it's all because of Jesus!"  And I felt such a wonderful peace, because I have a clear conscience before God.  And in my heart I know that eternal treasure is far better than any of this stuff here on earth.  I pray I never forget it.

Do not love the world or the things in the world.

If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father

is not in him.  For all that is in the world--

the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes

and pride in possessions--is not from the Father

but is from the world.  And the world is passing 

away along with its desires, but whoever does the

will of God abides forever.  1 John 1:15-17

For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ,
that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor
so that you by his poverty might become rich.
2 Corinthians 8:9

What it means to be a Christian

My heart aches for people who are trying to be good enough for God.  For people who are trying to impress him with their "good works".  He is not impressed.  He wouldn't have sent his only Son to die if we could ever be good enough.

...but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners,

Christ died for us.  Since, therefore, we have now been justified

by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God.

From the sad and lonely person who thinks they have ruined their life because of one bad deed after another,  and thinks that there is no way that God will ever forgive them...to the moral, upright citizen who gives to charity and thinks that they are earning God's favor (yet they have sinned too), I want nothing more than for them to understand that one is not better than the other in God's eyes.  All must come to Christ on the same terms.

We have all become like one who is unclean,

and all our righteous deeds are like a polluted garment.

Isaiah 64:6a

We know that a person is not justified by works

of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ,

so we also have believed in Christ Jesus, 

in order to be justified by faith in Christ

and not by works of the law, because by 

works of the law no one will be justified.

Galatians 2:16

If you do not have faith in Christ, you have no righteousness.  The righteous things you try to do are repulsive to God.  And if you do have faith in Christ but still think you have to perform to make God accept you, then you will have to keep the whole law that God has given.  All of it.  Can you do that?  Every minute of every day?

Christians do not seek to earn God's favor.  We simply have faith that the One who loved the Father perfectly, gave himself on our behalf.  We turn to him in something called repentance.  It's where you say something like "I don't want my sin anymore, I want God."  And you do a 180.  And with faith in Christ, you live a new life.  You don't have to be good enough for God to accept you, you just need to accept Jesus.  He did what you could not do.

For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.  Look, I Paul, say to you that if you accept circumcision (a work to earn God's favor), Christ will be of no advantage to you.

I testify again to every man who accepts circumcision that he is obligated to keep the whole law.  

You are severed from Christ, you who would be justified by the law, you have fallen away from grace.

For through the Spirit, by faith, we ourselves eagerly wait for the hope of righteousness.

For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision counts for anything, 

but only faith working through love. 

Galatians 5:1-6

For you were called to freedom brothers.  Only do not use your freedom

as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.

Galatians 5:13

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh...

if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law...

those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

Galatians 5:16,18 & 24

This is what it means to be a Christian.

All are invited to come to Christ.

Will you?

brothers {homemade portrait tips}

I love these two.  I love how Javi cracks up at the things Manny says.  

And I love how Manny knows he can make brother laugh.

I told them to be "super brothers"!

The idea came into my mind the day before yesterday. 

I wanted to photograph my boys, just the two of them.  

I just wasn't sure when.

Yesterday, I decided to seize the opportunity of a beautiful morning. 

As I was taking these pictures, it occurred to me that I may be able to pass on some helpful tips to anyone else who might like to take some "homemade portraits" of their children.

I wish I had not deleted the photos that I took at the beginning of this session.  Because if I were to show them to you, you would see fake, cheesy smiles.  You would see two little boys who don't quite know what to do with themselves while momma is pointing her big black camera at them.  We just had to get a little warmed up.  

Although I still do it sometimes...I am trying to break the habit of saying "Say cheese!"  Sometimes it works fine, but most of the time I get a "fake" smile.  So, how did I get those smiles?  I asked them questions and we chatted a bit...and before long, those genuine smiles emerged.

I still have a lot to learn and I am by no means a pro, but here is how I do "homemade portraits"...

>>The best time of day is an hour (or two) after the sun comes up or an hour before the sun goes down, often referred to as the "golden hour".  You don't want bright sun shining in their eyes so that they can barely look at the camera without squinting.  With the boys, in these photos, it was 9am and we picked a mostly shady spot in the front yard.  It's a good thing that these are the best times of the day to take photos because it's also the times of day that my children tend to be in their best moods!

>>Consider your background.  Take a test shot and see how things look.  Make sure it's a good spot before the kids are positioned.  One thing I recently learned is to be careful about putting my subject directly in front of a bush.  The branches can be a distraction in the photo and can look as if they are growing out of the person's head!  Not good.  I'm learning to avoid distracting elements as much as possible.

>>I sat them as close together as possible.  This is soooo important.

>>I ask them questions or prompt them to tell me about things.  This worked especially well with two of them because Javi kept laughing at the cute things Manny would say, which in turn would make Manny laugh too.  I said things like "Tell about your favorite ice cream" or "What are you going to do with daddy when he comes home?" or "Remember when...?"  You're looking for anything that will get them talking and thinking less about that camera.  Interact with them and keep it relaxed.  Sometimes I even position the camera in the spot I want it, hold it there and look out from behind the lens at them to react to what they are saying.  And all the while, I am pressing the shutter release.  With babies, you might discover a funny noise that makes them smile.  I won't even try to describe the one I make for Isabel, but for some reason she loves it!  And it grabs her attention.  She also loves it when I talk sweetly to her.

>>I take a ton of pictures.  This is the beauty of digital photography.  Take pictures from many different angles.  I am often amazed at how just a slightly different angle can dramatically improve the look of the photo.  Try many different angles.  Get down on the ground and get up close.  Try different things. You will be so glad you did.  Because just when you think you've got a pretty good photo, you get one that is even better!  You will end up deleting many photos, but at least you will have some gems!

>>If you're on a tight budget like me, download Picassa to edit your photos.  It's fun and it's free!

I hope you enjoy taking some "homemade portraits" of your own soon!

steppin' up

Big sister Amera's "Mission Trip" to New England seems to have motivated some change in our home.  Joelle and Brienne have both taken on more responsibility. 

Joelle has learned to independently do the laundry from loading and unloading both machines to folding.

Yesterday I taught her how to clean the bathroom (something I haven't done in a lonnnng time--it's been Amera's job for years!) 

And she is actually eager to learn how to do the ironing.  I'll probably teach her that today.

She also whipped up a batch of pancakes and made chocolate chip cookies!

I find that I am also getting more relaxed and letting them do things more independently.  Even if it doesn't come out as good as I might like.  I know they will learn best by doing.

Brienne has also stepped up.  Joelle taught her how to mop the floors.  I couldn't believe how excited she was when I told her that Joelle was going to teach her how to do it.  My children are not always such "eager beavers", but man, I'm just going to keep encouraging them to do their work "as unto the Lord", hope this attitude lasts, and encourage them when it begins to fade.  Isn't that what it's all about?

We found an old, round dining table on the side of the road and Jav picked it up for the kids' little "club house" out back.  Brienne was beyond excited to pull out the sewing machine and she has been sewing little pieces of fabric together to make a patchwork tablecloth.  She also got inspired one day and sewed two pieces of fabric together to make a little "blanket" for Isabel.  Isabel likes to chew on it.  :)

It's exciting to see my girls take on more responsibility with enthusiasm.  I'm excited to see how much more we will be able to accomplish as a family with more help to carry the load.  

Looking forward to Amera's return on Thursday.  I miss my girl!

By the way, we're just about finished with our Colossians study.  I'm looking for a new one to start.  

Any suggestions?  

It doesn't have to be "mother, daughter" per se.  Just looking for a good Bible study with question and answer format.  Let me know of any that have blessed you.  Thanks!

Sharing from my mama heart // On having children

During the school year, my daughter Amera helps a friend of ours minister at an elementary school with something called "Good News Club".  She does this every Thursday and two of her sisters go along with her to participate.  It's kind of funny, but for a long while many of the children there did not realize that she is a teenager who still lives at home with her family.  They were surprised to discover some other things as well.

Our Backyard Bible Club mostly consisted of "Good News Club" kids.  And since it was at "Miss Amera's" house, they had the opportunity to observe a few things about us.

One night during that week, a small group of children gathered around me by my back porch.  One girl started a conversation with me by asking me a question.  Hence, our little "interview" began.

The girl: Are you Amera's mom?
Me: Yes.
The girl: Who is your husband?
(Earlier they had been surprised when my husband spoke to them in Spanish)
Me: The one over there (I pointed) who spoke to you in Spanish.
(For some reason they seemed surprised again)
The group: Really?!
Me: (smiling) Yeah.
The girl: How many kids do you have?
Me: Seven
The girl: (gasp!)  How do you fit in this house?!
Me: Oh, we're squeezed in pretty tight, but we make it work.
The girl: Do you want to have more?
Me: Sure, if God wants to give them. (smiling)
The girl: (grinning, like she already knows the answer) And you would like it?
Me: Yeah, I would.

Her last question made me smile.  "And you would like it?"  As if to say "You mean you wouldn't consider it cruel and unnecessary punishment?"

............................................................................................................

Since there would be no writing prompt this week (the blog host is on vacation) I decided to ask my husband to give me a word and I would write about it.  Right away he said "Freedom".  I thought about that word all day yesterday.  What does it mean to be free as a Christian, or as a citizen of the United States.  I researched some things and I looked up verses in my Bible.


This morning, as I thought on it more, I decided I wanted to share about a unique aspect of freedom that is deeply meaningful to me.  It is the freedom I have to trust God with the size of my family.  It's a freedom from worry, from fear and from trying to control my life. 


Oh, don't get me wrong.  It's not that I never, ever struggle to trust or that I am completely fearless about it all, but for the most part, I am trusting God with my life and it is so freeing to do that.


I realize this topic of family size can be a complicated issue and there are so many unique situations that people face.  Each person is accountable to God for their decisions and my husband and I are pretty confident that if my life were in danger we would have some serious talking to do. 


But that is not the case for us now and we want to allow the word of God to determine how we think about this.  We want to shed the pervasive influence of the culture around us (which constantly changes) and think biblically (which never changes).  We have also spoken to people who just wish they could go back and do things differently.  We are keenly aware of the fact that decisions can be made based on current feelings or concerns.  And so we take these things to heart...and we think "Wow!" this decision is one that matters for eternity.  We don't want to take it lightly.  

Whenever we have thought "Are we crazy?"  "Can we really handle another one?"  We ask ourselves some other questions too.  Like, "Why would we stop?"  Is it because of fear of what might be?  Will God give us grace and help like he promises?  Will he still provide?  If we are looking to his word for answers, we find it sufficient to help our thinking along.

My heart was stirred last night as I sat at my dining room table with my husband and children all around me.  My attention was focused on baby Isabel.  And would you like to know the thought that came to my mind as it so often does?

I am so blessed.  

Sometimes I feel surprised too.  Surprised at my own family and who we have become.  That I do like this.  No, I love this.  I am not being proud.  I am not saying I am better than anyone else because I have seven children. I know that God blesses us in different ways.  Sometimes with only one child, sometimes with none.   I am just saying that I love this.  This life God has given me.  This story that he is authoring...I am learning to be yielded to the plot he has written.  I am surprised that it is better than I could have ever imagined sixteen, ten, or even five years ago.  It is absolutely amazing to be a mother to seven.

I am so glad that instead of fear, we let trust and dependence on God influence our choices.

May it ever be so.