It starts with you

[the boys at the Yuba-Sutter Fair this past summer]

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.

1 Corinthians 9:24-27

You've probably seen it before in the cartoons or movies.  There is a race and someone in the race is not playing by the rules.  They do whatever they possibly can to slow the other contestant down and cause them to lose.  They don't play fair because all they care about is coming out on top.

I read a message from C.H. Spurgeon this morning.  It was delivered in June of 1858.  And what a fitting location!  The Grand Stand, Epsom Race-Course.  The message was entitled "The Heavenly Race".  It was based on 1 Corinthians 9:24.

In his message he talks about things that hinder us and even prevent us from truly running in the "race" in this life.  I wanted to share one of those things here because I think it is something that many of us are prone to do.  Maybe we don't do it habitually but every once in a while it may rear it's ugly head.

If we find that we are often very busy about focusing on the faults of others and not doing our own personal business with the Lord, we should be concerned.  If we find that as we sit listening to a message from God's Word we are hoping that so and so is listening, we should redirect our focus.  We would do well to consider ourselves whenever we consider the powerful, transforming Word of God.  We need it.  We, ourselves, need to hear it.  And heeding it will spur us on to greater rewards than the temporary satisfaction of trampling someone else underfoot.

Here is that quote from Spurgeon...

"There is also another thing that will prevent man's running the race. We have known people who stopped on their way to kick their fellows. Such things sometimes occur in a race. The horse, instead of speeding onwards to the mark, is of an angry disposition, and sets about kicking those that are running beside him—there is not much probability of his coming in first. 

'Now they that run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize.'

There is one however who never gets it, and that is the man who always attends to his fellow-creatures instead of himself. It is a mysterious thing that I never yet saw a man with a hoe on his shoulder, going to hoe his neighbour's garden, it is a rarity to see a farmer sending his team of horses to plough his neighbour's land; but it is a most singular thing that every day in the week I meet with persons who are attending to other people's character. If they go to the house of God and hear a trite thing said, they say at once "How suitable that was for Mrs. Smith and Mrs. Brown?" The thought never enters their head, how suitable it was to themselves. They lend their ears to everybody else, but they do not hear for themselves. When they get out of chapel, perhaps as they walk home, their first thought is, "Well, how can I find fault with my neighbors?" They think that putting other people down is going up themselves (there never was a greater mistake); that by picking holes in their neighbour's coat they mend their own They have so few virtues of their own that they do not like anybody else to have any therefore they do the best they can to despoil everything good in their neighbor; and it there be a little fault, they will look at it through a magnifying glass, but they will turn the glass the other way when they look at their own sins. 

Their own faults become exceedingly small while those of others become magnificently great. 

Now this is a fault not only among professing religious men, but among those who are not religious. We are all so prone to find fault with other people instead of attending to our own home affairs. We attend to the vineyards of others, but our own vineyard we have not kept. Ask a worldly man why he is not religious, and he tells you "Because so-and-so makes a profession of religion and is not consistent." Pray is that any business of yours? To your own Master you must stand or fall, and so must he; God is their judge, and not you. Suppose there are a great many inconsistent Christians—and we are compelled to acknowledge that there are—so much the more reason why you should be a good one. Suppose there are a great many who deceive others; so much the more reason you should set the world an example of what a genuine Christian is. "Ah! but," you say, "I am afraid there are very few." Then why don't you make one? But after all, is that your business? Must not every man bear his own burden? 

You will not be judged for other men's sins, you will not be saved by their faith, you will not be condemned for their unbelief. 

Every man must stand in his own proper flesh and blood at the bar of God, to account for the works done in his own body, whether they have been good or whether they have been evil. 

It will be of little avail for you to say at the day of judgment, "O Lord, I was looking at my neighbors; O Lord, I was finding fault with the people in the village; I was correcting their follies." But thus saith the Lord: "Did I ever commission thee to be a judge or a divider over them? Why, if thou hadst so much time to spare, and so much critical judgment, didst thou not exercise it upon thyself? Why didst thou not examine thyself, so that thou mightest have been found ready and acceptable in the day of God?" These persons are not very likely to win the race, because they turn to kicking others."

.........................................................

Spurgeon is right.  Those who don't know Christ (that used to be me) will elevate themselves by finding fault with others and considering themselves far better than certain people.  They will think they are good people because they don't do some detestable thing they see another doing.  The problem is that they have never truly seen themselves as God does.  His is the standard we should judge ourselves by.  The same thing goes for Christians.  Stop looking around you at all the things that others aren't getting right.  Focus first and foremost on your relationship and walk with God.  Is your life pleasing to him?  What do you need to change to honor him more?  It starts with you.

Inconvenient {a writing prompt}

Since July 3, 2013, our family has made two large rooms in a preschool our home.  I have lost count of how many times I have been asked where something is.  All I know is that it is to the point of brain exhaustion.  I have nine people in my family with two feet each and in the summer it wasn't so bad because we only had the occasional lost flip flop or sandal.  But then it got colder and socks were introduced.  People sometimes complain about their socks getting gobbled up by the "dryer monster" but I have had monsters lurking in every corner of all the rooms I have lived in for the past few months.

Why our family has such an issue with retaining matching socks is beyond me.  After moving here and being told by my children umpteen times that they could not find ANY socks whatsoever, I decided to give up on frugality and buy very large packages of socks at Target.  For every. single. one. of them.  It was liberating...for a while.  Now we have moved into a house.  Actually, we are still in the process of moving.  It saddens me and it causes me to shake my head in disbelief...but we have not been able to find one single pair of matching socks for my boys.  On Saturday evening, as we made preparations for church the next morning, I actually had to dig into my trusty "sock bag" (a bag containing all the socks that have lost their matches over the years) and find them socks that were at least the same color.  They also needed to be able to stretch over their feet...so what if those crew socks are a few sizes too small...they just became ankle socks!  Sometimes you just have to improvise, right?

That evening, as I sat exhausted in a chair (eight months pregnant and moving into a house have been an interesting combination) I watched my daughter Joelle walk up and down the stairs and all around the house as she searched for every item of clothing and every shoe for every child.  It took about an hour.  Sure, we had put all of our shoes together in boxes.  But why was it that all we could find for Brienne was one gold flat and one black high heel?  Mental exhaustion set in as I watched her on the hunt.

A friend mentioned on Facebook this weekend that "Prayer is more effective than panic".  Not being able to find things might sound like a small thing to some but I have felt that frustrating, uncomfortable feeling more times than I care to count in the past few months.  It's one thing when it's something of your own that you have misplaced or that you put into a "convenient" place where you would be able to find it yet you forgot where that place is.  It's another thing when everyone in the family looks to you as the "all knowing" one who somehow knows precisely where every single needed item is located.  Talk about pressure. ;)

True, sometimes I am pretty good at knowing exactly where things are.

"Oh, you're looking for your Bible?  It's right over there on the top shelf."  Imagine my big grin because I was able to direct someone to the thing they needed at that moment.  But now imagine me on Sunday morning when at first all was going well as I thought that everyone had what they needed but then as the questions begin to come from my husband a sudden burst of reality hits.  In my exhaustion from a busy Saturday of cleaning, packing and moving, I had forgotten to make sure that he had all of his necessary items in place.

Where were his shoes?  I knew that they had been conveniently set on top of a box so they would not be hard to find but where was that box?!  Was it still in the van?  And his belt?  I had absolutely NO idea about that one.  Yet I'm supposed to know.  I usually take great pains to not experience this kind of thing on Sunday morning.  But each day has brought me to the point of needing to just not move, and sometimes, a day full of thinking too much wears me out too.  So much planning, coordinating, strategizing, and figuring out when to do what and where to put what...it takes a lot of brain power.  Sometimes I forget, it takes prayer too.

Instead, I let it all get to me.  I felt the frustration welling up.  I felt inconvenienced by all this need to find things.  I felt tired of it all.  Sure, there are harder trials to go through but this was mine in all of it's frustrating, agonizing glory.  I envisioned a future day when every shoe would be neatly stored in it's caddy in the closet.  I dreamed of the day when socks would go directly into their drawers...maybe even in a special shoe box on the side of the drawer so that they won't get lost in the drawer...but no, I wasn't there yet.  I was here, in a house full of boxes, trying to find something that was lost again.

Amazing how we just know we shouldn't say certain things yet it feels almost like a dam is going to break loose and sometimes we let it.

What I said was sarcastic, it was how I felt in that moment, and I should have resisted the temptation to say it and instead thanked God for how good he is to me.

"I just love my life right now."

It was spoken somewhat toward my husband as I left the room.  He heard it, God heard it and I felt the remorse immediately afterward.

So many good things are happening in my life right now!  I have so much to thank God for and I have been doing that here and there but that morning I brought a little bit of ruin into it all.  I had my focus ALL wrong.  I wanted it to be known that I was SO tired of being inconvenienced with having to stop what I am doing to find things for people or to help them find things.  I just felt like I had to make it known.  Well, I did.  And I only felt worse.

Praise God that he forgives and he helps and that my husband is a gracious man who understands what I am going through and he also forgives.  I also praise God that through it all he disciplines me as loving Father and gives me the gusto to want to be the most organized woman on the face of the earth.  I know I have a lot to learn, I know that circumstances right now would throw even the most organized of women into a tizzy but again, I am just me...with all of my personal lessons to learn.

I can't wait to have everything in it's place (at least for the most part!).  I know things will still get lost from time to time but I also know it will be less and less if I have anything to say about it.

I can't wait to share with you all of the good things that God has done in providing a home for our family but that is for another post.  For now, you can just picture me in the perfect mixture of happily unpacking more of my dishes and clothes and...more than likely, trying to find something that someone needs.  That's just the way it is right now.  God is good.  :)


Linking up for the writing prompt here: ellenstumbo.com