I shared it with a neighbor over the phone recently. I explained how years ago I sat at my dining room table, so afraid of being lied to by a religion, so afraid that I was falling for something, not ready to accept it because I was not about to be duped into this stuff.
Yet I sat there reading the words of Christ. I wanted to understand, I wanted to know. Who is God?!
It was as if light flooded my dark soul and I turned to it to walk in it. It was God. He was showing me the way. He was helping me to see clearly. I knew in that moment that he would never lie to me. Never.
How does this happen? How does a person who is blind to what Christ has done for them suddenly begin to see? God shows them. It is his work in the human heart. It is amazing how he does it. How he softens hardened hearts and even gives us the grace to fully see our own ugliness inside. Here's the thing, though. He does it in the most loving way imaginable. He is grieved and since he is a righteous and holy judge, our sin angers him too. We have chosen ways that are ugly, dark, harmful and wicked. We have chosen ways that hurt us and the people around us. These ways are so far from who he is. So far from his majesty, glory and light. Yet, he loves. And he reaches down in love to rescue us from our hopeless condition.
Whenever I think about what God did in my heart on that day that changed my life, I think about the people involved. I remember their love too. Two memories stand out to me and bring tears to my eyes when I think of them. The first one is of my pastor's wife at that time. I have a vivid memory of one of the first times we welcomed them into our home. It was shortly after we began attending church for the first time.
We wanted to share our lives with them and our home. And of course that meant we were sharing the lives that we had without Christ. One of the things I had was a puzzle I had put together and framed. It was this fairy lady and she was wearing all sorts of weird jewelry. I remember she had some sort of skull image hanging from her ear. Of course, nowadays I have no interest in hanging some fairy lady with skull images on my wall but at the time I thought it was pretty cool. All I can say is that my pastor's wife had an attitude of love and respect toward me, even though I know that my beliefs and convictions were very different from hers. She didn't make me fell less than. I would see the beauty of her home, I would feel the warmth there and one day I would see that there were better things than skulls to decorate a home with! But I do believe that her kindness in those moments was something that God used to change me.
The second thing that stands out to me from that time frame is when I shared my interest in psychology with my pastor. I was so interested in how the human mind works and at one time I thought I would use my G.I. Bill to study it in college. He said something like "I have a book you might like to read". And he brought me a book written from a Christian perspective. He didn't get into some argument with me about all the issues with secular psychology. He just offered me an alternative. Something better.
It wasn't much later that God revealed to my soul that there was something far better than anything I had ever known. Something better than man's reasoning or man's imagination. I saw the beauty of his ways, his commandments and his love. I saw the beauty of who God is. And in that moment I knew that nothing else would ever compare.
Linking up for the writing prompt here: http://www.ellenstumbo.com/you-changed-me/
I thought I had already commented here! I love this post, and I think you have a powerful testimony. Always love hearing about the One who changed your life around.
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