It starts with you

[the boys at the Yuba-Sutter Fair this past summer]

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.

1 Corinthians 9:24-27

You've probably seen it before in the cartoons or movies.  There is a race and someone in the race is not playing by the rules.  They do whatever they possibly can to slow the other contestant down and cause them to lose.  They don't play fair because all they care about is coming out on top.

I read a message from C.H. Spurgeon this morning.  It was delivered in June of 1858.  And what a fitting location!  The Grand Stand, Epsom Race-Course.  The message was entitled "The Heavenly Race".  It was based on 1 Corinthians 9:24.

In his message he talks about things that hinder us and even prevent us from truly running in the "race" in this life.  I wanted to share one of those things here because I think it is something that many of us are prone to do.  Maybe we don't do it habitually but every once in a while it may rear it's ugly head.

If we find that we are often very busy about focusing on the faults of others and not doing our own personal business with the Lord, we should be concerned.  If we find that as we sit listening to a message from God's Word we are hoping that so and so is listening, we should redirect our focus.  We would do well to consider ourselves whenever we consider the powerful, transforming Word of God.  We need it.  We, ourselves, need to hear it.  And heeding it will spur us on to greater rewards than the temporary satisfaction of trampling someone else underfoot.

Here is that quote from Spurgeon...

"There is also another thing that will prevent man's running the race. We have known people who stopped on their way to kick their fellows. Such things sometimes occur in a race. The horse, instead of speeding onwards to the mark, is of an angry disposition, and sets about kicking those that are running beside him—there is not much probability of his coming in first. 

'Now they that run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize.'

There is one however who never gets it, and that is the man who always attends to his fellow-creatures instead of himself. It is a mysterious thing that I never yet saw a man with a hoe on his shoulder, going to hoe his neighbour's garden, it is a rarity to see a farmer sending his team of horses to plough his neighbour's land; but it is a most singular thing that every day in the week I meet with persons who are attending to other people's character. If they go to the house of God and hear a trite thing said, they say at once "How suitable that was for Mrs. Smith and Mrs. Brown?" The thought never enters their head, how suitable it was to themselves. They lend their ears to everybody else, but they do not hear for themselves. When they get out of chapel, perhaps as they walk home, their first thought is, "Well, how can I find fault with my neighbors?" They think that putting other people down is going up themselves (there never was a greater mistake); that by picking holes in their neighbour's coat they mend their own They have so few virtues of their own that they do not like anybody else to have any therefore they do the best they can to despoil everything good in their neighbor; and it there be a little fault, they will look at it through a magnifying glass, but they will turn the glass the other way when they look at their own sins. 

Their own faults become exceedingly small while those of others become magnificently great. 

Now this is a fault not only among professing religious men, but among those who are not religious. We are all so prone to find fault with other people instead of attending to our own home affairs. We attend to the vineyards of others, but our own vineyard we have not kept. Ask a worldly man why he is not religious, and he tells you "Because so-and-so makes a profession of religion and is not consistent." Pray is that any business of yours? To your own Master you must stand or fall, and so must he; God is their judge, and not you. Suppose there are a great many inconsistent Christians—and we are compelled to acknowledge that there are—so much the more reason why you should be a good one. Suppose there are a great many who deceive others; so much the more reason you should set the world an example of what a genuine Christian is. "Ah! but," you say, "I am afraid there are very few." Then why don't you make one? But after all, is that your business? Must not every man bear his own burden? 

You will not be judged for other men's sins, you will not be saved by their faith, you will not be condemned for their unbelief. 

Every man must stand in his own proper flesh and blood at the bar of God, to account for the works done in his own body, whether they have been good or whether they have been evil. 

It will be of little avail for you to say at the day of judgment, "O Lord, I was looking at my neighbors; O Lord, I was finding fault with the people in the village; I was correcting their follies." But thus saith the Lord: "Did I ever commission thee to be a judge or a divider over them? Why, if thou hadst so much time to spare, and so much critical judgment, didst thou not exercise it upon thyself? Why didst thou not examine thyself, so that thou mightest have been found ready and acceptable in the day of God?" These persons are not very likely to win the race, because they turn to kicking others."

.........................................................

Spurgeon is right.  Those who don't know Christ (that used to be me) will elevate themselves by finding fault with others and considering themselves far better than certain people.  They will think they are good people because they don't do some detestable thing they see another doing.  The problem is that they have never truly seen themselves as God does.  His is the standard we should judge ourselves by.  The same thing goes for Christians.  Stop looking around you at all the things that others aren't getting right.  Focus first and foremost on your relationship and walk with God.  Is your life pleasing to him?  What do you need to change to honor him more?  It starts with you.

What's big sis up to?

Our transition into a structured day of homeschooling has actually gone quite well.  It seems that every one or two years our family life changes a bit and we have to make adjustments.  One wonderful change this year has been to spread out my kids into different rooms so there is minimal distraction and we get more accomplished in less time.  It is working out great and I hope to continue the pattern when we move into our home.

I work with Clara, my first-grader, first thing in the morning and it has worked well to bring Isabel and Manny with us into the playroom to color or play while I teach Clara her lessons.  While we are tucked away in there, my other children are busy about accomplishing all of the work that they can do on their own, in the various rooms I have assigned them to

.  

This morning, as the morning work was almost finished and it was time for the kids to get dressed to go outside and play (yes, sometimes we do school in our pajamas), Isabel followed me into the main room to see what her big sisters were up to...

Brienne likes to get creative and do things that are out of the ordinary.  That is why instead of sitting at the table in a chair, she would rather sit on an ottoman in front of a piano bench.  ;)  

Of course, she was happy to have Isabel join her and to pull out some stickers just for fun.

Sisters.  So sweet.

I love to watch them together...it brings my heart such joy.

Don't apologize for the mess

Life lately is quite the crazy adventure.  Yesterday afternoon, there were big plans to lug four loads of laundry to the laundromat.  These plans were hindered by the exciting conversation Amera and I were having concerning our schedule for the new school year.  Some of the first things to figure out were: what time to get up? who showers when? (with one shower) and when to have personal and family time in the Bible?  Things are definitely going to be more structured in the coming days.  To be honest, in many ways I long for that.

So Amera and I were bouncing ideas off of each other and trying to get all this daily life stuff figured out.  She has all of these great ideas and plans to teach her siblings the Bible every other week.  I am so excited to give her a chance to implement them!  I am also excited to teach them more regularly than I have been lately.  So many plans to get excited about!  So, anyway, it was getting later in the afternoon and...remember those four loads of laundry?  Well I was just about to get up and go when my husband comes bursting in the door saying "Marisha, we need to go look at a house!"  So I jumped up, grabbed what I needed and headed out the door.  It was not the first time and it won't be the last.  It's exciting, it's disappointing...it's an all around adventure.  The search for our home continues.

No matter where we make our cozy abode, life will be happening.  Real life.  Life that sometimes gets messy.  Life that we don't always have time to keep up with.  Life that doesn't feel "normal".  Oh sure, schedules are good and all but I know all too well that some days they will completely fall apart.  Life will happen.  The unexpected will come up.  We will have to do our best to be flexible, go with the flow and just do our best.

I finally made it to the laundromat.  I took three children to help me and we finished just in time to rush home and heat up leftovers for dinner.  After dinner I had to run to the store to get diapers and school supplies for next week.  It was my first time driving to Target alone.  By the time I left it was after 10pm, it was dark out so things looked different and I had to try and remember how to get back home.  I didn't have a phone with me or I would have just called Javier for directions.  Thankfully, I recognized many of the street names from driving around looking at houses and I was able to find my way eventually.  All of this made for a late evening without much getting done on the home front.  All that to say, today the saga continued as late nights make for late mornings.

There are things around here that don't always get cleaned up or put away right away.  I cannot always put life on hold for that.  I'd like to say that I live in a spotless and mess-free environment but it's far from the truth.  I don't like messes and I spend a lot of time eradicating them.  But I am learning that sometimes they just have to wait.  More important things are happening.  Like the sweet morning I enjoyed just smiling and loving on my kids as we ate our breakfast cereal.  Like the excitement of showing Manny the new flashcards I got for him last night.  We enjoyed going through those.  It didn't take place in an immaculate home that looks like something out of Better Homes and Gardens either.  It looked more like this...

See, I could have fooled you a little bit and only shown you the first picture.  But, this was my morning.  I should have taken the photo with all my sweet children smiling around the table...yeah, that would've been better and then you'd understand why I let the mess wait a bit.  ;)  

You know, on a little side note, it's times like these that I usually receive unexpected visitors.  There are times (although probably rare!) when everything is neat, tidy and orderly but does anyone unexpected come over then?  Of course not!  

A sweet friend came over today to see if I needed anything from the store.  The kids and I hadn't started the "clean up party" just yet and I resisted the temptation to apologize for things being a bit messy.  It is a powerful urge because everything in me wants to say "Please don't think that I am comfortable with crumbs on the floor.  Really, ants are not my friends.  I was actually just about to clean up in here."  But I've learned it's better to just not mention it.  Better to just focus on being a friend and ignore it while they are there.  I was happy to have the time to visit with her and not make it an issue.  I had already resolved in my heart about a year ago that I would never again apologize for the messes our sweet life produces.  They happen, they are normal, and they can't always be cleaned up right away.  Sometimes people take precedence...especially little people.  :)

I'll leave you with a few sweet photos of Isabel and Clara from this morning.  Isabel calls Clara "Kah" and she was doling out the kisses and the cheesy smiles.

There is so much to love about being a mom to these precious little ones.  Sometimes the cleaning just needs to wait a little.  It'll always be there anyway.  These amazing children, however, are growing up fast!

What is hospitality anyway?

"The model for entertaining is found in the slick pages of women's magazines with their 

appealing pictures of foods and rooms.  The model for hospitality is found in the Word of God."

~Karen Mains

I've had my share of struggles with feeling like my home was less than.  At times, I have had my share of excuses for not having people into our home.  When my husband was a college student and we were a growing family on a tight budget, we didn't have the means to fix a bathroom with peeling paint and I won't mention what else needed to be done to that poor bathroom...

I have had the glasses that used to be jars of jelly or pasta sauce and later they graced our table.  I have endured the carpet that was never (ever!) quite what I wanted it to be and replacing that was not an option for us either.  

I realize now, how sad it is that I let things like that get in the way of reaching out to others in my church, neighborhood and community.  Of course, I had other good excuses.  Like how busy we were, and how desperate we were for family time with my husband's crazy full time student/full time employee schedule.  There was a time were I could somewhat comfortably avoid the issue.  But God was working in my heart all along.  

We began to have people over here and there.  When we had a very small dining table and couldn't seat all of our company, I sat with a couple of ladies on our living room floor with our plates on the small table in front of us.  I enjoyed their company.  It wasn't exactly fine dining but it was togetherness.

I have things that stand out in my mind as a little discouraging.  Like the time when we had a large group of college students over and somehow, it bothered one young man that I didn't have enough chairs to seat them all.  He even made a comment about it to me as he was entering the front door.  It would have taken the wind out of my sails if I had let it.  But I just smiled and said "Well, we're doin' the best we can.  Come on in and join us!"  That evening ended up being an encouraging and edifying time together.  And yes, many of us sat on the floor. ;)

God has helped me to see that people are more important than the things that we have.  I never want to lose that focus.  Whatever the Lord has given me is something that I can use to honor and obey him by reaching out to those around me.

I know I've been sharing what I read a lot.  I hope you don't mind.  What I want to share with you today resonated with me so much that I said a hearty "Amen!" out loud.  Do you ever do that when you read something great?  Well, here is a passage from the book "Open Heart, Open Home" by Karen Mains.  The topic is "ENTERTAINING VS. HOSPITALITY."

... .. ... .. ...

"For most Christians, taking in anyone in need, even one's own family, is a radical step.  Many who say they follow Christ have no comprehension of the basics of hospitality.  We have allowed the world to squeeze us into its mold.  We think in terms of entertaining as a woman's chance to demonstrate her skill and the quality of her home.  Entertaining has little to do with real hospitality.

Secular entertaining is a terrible bondage.  Its source is human pride.  Demanding perfection, fostering the urge to impress, it is a rigorous taskmaster that enslaves.  In contrast, scriptural hospitality is a freedom that liberates.

Entertaining says, "I want to impress you with my beautiful home, my clever decorating, my gourmet cooking."  Hospitality, however, seeks to minister.  It says, "This home is not mine.  It is truly a gift from my Master.  I am his servant, and I use it as he desires."  Hospitality does not try to impress but to serve.

Entertaining always puts things before people.  "As soon as I get the house finished, the living room decorated, my place settings complete, my housework done--then I will start having people in."  "The So-and-so's are coming.  I must buy that new such-and-such before they come."  Hospitality, however, puts people before things.  "We have no furniture; we'll eat on the floor."  "The decorating may never get done.  Please come just the same."  "The house is a mess, but these people are friends.  We never get to see them.  Let's have this time together anyway."

Because we are afraid to allow people to see us as we really are, we welcome the false ideal of entertaining.  To perpetuate the illusion we must pretend we love housework, we never put our hair in rollers, our children are so well disciplined that they always pick up their toys.  We must hint broadly that we manage our busy lives without difficulty.  Working hard to keep people from recognizing our weak points, we also prevent them from loving us in our weaknesses.

Because hospitality has put away its pride, it doesn't care if other people see our humanness.  Because we are maintaining no false pretensions, people relax and feel that perhaps we can be friends.  

Entertaining subtly declares, "This is mine--these rooms, these adornments.  This is an expression of my personality.  It is an extension of who and what I am.  Look, please, and admire."  Hospitality whispers, "What is mine is yours."  Here is the secret of community that is all but lost to the church of today.  "And all who believed were together and had all things in common" (Acts 2:44).  The hospitality of that first-century church clearly said, "What's mine is yours."

Entertainment looks for a payment--the words "My, isn't she a remarkable hostess"; a return dinner invitation; a job advancement for self or spouse; esteem in the eyes of friends and neighbors.  Hospitality does everything with no thought of reward but takes pleasure in the joy of giving, doing, loving, and serving."

... .. ... .. ...

You know, since we have been living in our "temporary home" we have used up a ton of paper products.  It's what we are using on a daily basis and it's what we use to serve our guests.  There's something relaxing about it.  I mean, what concern can you really have about impressing anyone when you are serving on paper?  It's been fun and it helps me to realize, yet again, how little things like that really matter.  Our focus has been on people.  Getting to know them, spending time with them and really just sharing our lives in the time that we have together.

Whether we have a little or a lot, our focus should be on souls, not our stuff or the stuff we wish we could have.  What wonderful things could God just be waiting to do through you if you would just open up your home to others?  How long has it been?  What is holding you back?  Stained carpet, lack of space?  Don't let those things hinder you from serving God.  Reach out to others with what you have.  The greatest gift you can impart is the not the dinnerware or the impressive decorating.  No, it is not some thing that money can buy, it is a heart that is inclined to love others in the same wonderful way that God has loved you.  What better way to love and show that you genuinely care for someone than to invite them into your home with an open heart?

"Show hospitality to one another without grumbling."  1 Peter 4:9

"Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality."  Romans 12:13

An eventful trip to the laundromat

Yesterday was momentous.  My husband and I made our first trip to a laundromat in about 16 years.  Sure, it's not exactly every one's "ideal" experience.  But I am really seeing the benefits.

For one thing, we washed four loads of laundry at the same time.  I finally got the change machine to work and it pumped out twenty dollars in quarters for us (for some reason, it didn't like my other bills).

During the washing I sat with my husband in bright orange chairs and we drank our cokes.  In between sips I read some of the passages I had marked in a book I am reading, "Revival" by Martin Lloyd-Jones.  I am really gleaning from this book and being challenged, motivated and encouraged.

It wasn't the quietest atmosphere...with little children running around and the coins clanking out of the coin machine but it was refreshing to sit and chat...it was a date in a sense.

It came to a point, as we were waiting for our clothes to finish drying, that a young man came in to do his laundry.  We had friendly conversation with him.  We were getting to know him, he knew we were new to the area but the reason why we had come was not yet stated.  It's important to us that when we first meet someone that we allow a little time for them to see us as real people.  People that they can talk to, interact with, laugh with and most of all that we genuinely care about them.  And that we will listen to them share about themselves. We are not trying to hide who we are, it's just that mentioning that we are pastor and pastor's wife right off the bat can really tend to shut people down and turn them away.

So we waited until he asked the question.  And it was an exciting transition in the conversation because I knew that I did not want to leave that day without extending ourselves to this man.  An invitation to church or just to get together with he and his wife for a cup of coffee and to talk.  And my husband did just that.  And this young man seemed very interested in getting in touch with us again.  It's not about just getting him in through the church door though, it's about developing a relationship with him and showing him that Christ loves him too.  Although, he did show great interest in coming to our church.

My husband had the opportunity of sharing the gospel with him right there in the laundromat.  I still remember early on in the conversation that the man was saying that he had never really been to church and I remember part of my husband's response to him.

"Anyone can change..."  Wow, what a statement full of hope!  It doesn't matter if you've never had a single thought toward God your whole life through.  This is not some exclusive club that you cannot gain entrance into.  I used to think that, you know.  And thank God he didn't turn my desperate soul away!  God invites all to turn to him and receive forgiveness and eternal life through faith in Christ.

The true light, which gives light to everyone, was coming into the world.  He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him.  He came to his own and his own people did not receive him.  But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.  John 1:9-13

When my husband and I got in the car to leave, we were both smiling from ear to ear.  "That was awesome!" I exclaimed.

I just love the beauty of the gospel!  Don't you?

Pray for this man, his wife and their newborn baby boy.  I sure do hope to meet them, and see this man again in the near future!

Excuses we give for not going to church

There is nothing quite like reading on a rainy day.  Especially when you read something you really appreciate.  I want to share an excerpt from the book I am reading titled "Addictions" by Edward T. Welch.  

Before I do though, let me just say that a part of me wishes that this book had a different title because I think that many people might see that title and not pick it up since they don't drink or do drugs.  But the wisdom contained in this book applies to every believer.  As the author says: "The thing that drives addictions can be found in every human heart.  For example, we all have had experience with unruly desires that don't take no for an answer."  The good news is that for those who have placed their faith in Christ, there is always the possibility of escape from those temptations because our ever-faithful God stands ready to help us. (1 Cor. 10:13)

With that said, on to the excerpt.  This is from a chapter toward the end of the book titled "Being Part of the Body".  He covers some common reasons why people avoid going to church and meeting with God's people.  (The author's words will be in bold and all other comments are mine.) 

"The local church is the prominent means by which God gives grace to us.  It is an imperfect group that meets together for worship, teaching, prayer and fellowship.  There is no question that every local church can be critiqued for a number of reasons, and if you struggle with addictions, you will probably see many weaknesses immediately.  This should make it that much more attractive, because it says that God welcomes imperfect people and he has purposes for them.

One of the basic principles in AA is that if you don't want to go to a meeting, then you must go to a meeting.  A similar principle exists for the church, except God himself has determined that we should meet with each other (Heb. 10:25).  If you feel like you don't want to be with God's people in the church, then you must go to church.

What are some of your rationalizations for not meeting with God's people?

• "They don't understand."
• "I don't fit in there."
• "They are a bunch of hypocrites."
• "I just don't feel comfortable in church."

Be alert.  This is warfare in progress.  Satan starts with a kernel of truth (there is some truth in most rationalizations), and he uses it to hurt you.  Be on guard against these lies and be prepared to combat them.

• "They don't understand."  Yes, they may not understand what I have been through.  But I don't understand what they have been through either.  I have to remember: this isn't just about me.  It is about knowing and loving God and knowing and loving others.

To think of ourselves when it comes to serving God, totally goes against what it truly means to be a Christian.  Here are some helpful verses: 

We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves.  Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up.  Rom. 15:1-2

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.  Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.  Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.  Phil. 2:2-4

And he (Jesus) answered, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.  Luke 10:27

• "I don't fit in."  That's true; there may be no official, former addicts here.  No one has my exact background.  But this is a group of sinners seeking Christ, and the Spirit is present when people meet in the name of Jesus.  If I don't fit in here, I am in trouble.

I wrote about this struggle here: Finally belonging.  We can experience the same struggle for different reasons.  But it is self-centered at it's core.  I know, there are emotions involved here, but when we begin to allow our focus to turn inward we lose focus on what God wants us to do and on how we can love other people.

• "They are a bunch of hypocrites."  I can't believe I have stooped to that excuse!  I am losing my creativity!  If there are some hypocrites there, then I should fit in just fine.

Wow, who hasn't heard this one?  It's the classic excuse for not getting involved in a church, put the blame on everybody else.  Granted, there are churches where people do not desire to follow Christ and obey his Word.  There are churches where what the pastor preaches from the pulpit is a far cry from the way he lives throughout the week.  But those are not good churches and hopefully a better one is available for you.  Remember, if your focus is on serving God and others, the fact that there are people who live hypocritically attending the church should not hinder you from wholehearted service.  And just think of what a great example you can be to them!

On another note, perhaps we are all hypocrites at one time or another.  There are two definitions to the word hypocrite.  One is: a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion.  And the second is: a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings.  In reality, there are times when we try to appear better than we are.  It can be subtle or overt.  It is a nasty thing for one to act is if they are a Christian when they are really not.  But we cannot put genuine believers on such a high pedestal that we expect them to never fail honor the Lord.  Really, who would hold themselves to that standard?  We are all in need of grace and mercy.

• "I just don't feel comfortable in church."  Of course I don't always feel comfortable in church.  It's not a bar (or a club) and it usually doesn't smell of stale cigarette smoke.  But since God is the One who tells me to meet with his people, this is going to be one of the first times I do what I believe is right rather than do what I feel.

When you meet with Christians, remember that these are your brothers and sisters.  You will be spending eternity with them.  

This place should not be like what you are "used to".  God should not be like what you are used to either.  God is holy and as his people we should be striving to live holy lives.  God doesn't want our life to look just like the life of a person who doesn't have his Spirit indwelling their heart.  God doesn't want our churches to be just like a place where the Spirit of God cannot abide.  And as the word holy is defined, our God is "exalted and worthy of complete devotion as one perfect in goodness and righteousness."

People who have struggled with addictions can be great blessings to the church.  They are open about their past struggles.  They know they are sinners, and they are usually willing to tell you the sins with which they presently struggle.  They want practical teaching.  They are real and down-to-earth.  Since they once wore masks and hid behind lies, they can usually tell when you are.  And they know they need Jesus."

He goes on to say that as we help someone who has struggled with addiction, we should "have a vision for some of the many gifts he will bring to the body of Christ."

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.  Once you were not a people, but now you are God's people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.  1 Peter 2:9-10

Want to read more on a similar topic?

Just for a day

They said what??!!

"I just don't feel like I need church"

"Is it ok that I'm wearing pants?"

Holding hands
Speak up
The difficulty of not getting what you expected
Stop looking for the "perfect church"
Whenever the doors are open we make a decision

When a family sings together

My husband and I had talked about it for some time.  He wanted to get a set of hymnals for our home.  One that Amera could use at the piano and others that we could all share.  We are thankful that we had even one hymnal before.  But having three has greatly improved the time we spend together singing.

A few evenings ago, after we had eaten dinner and sat around the table together, we opened these hymnals.  There is nothing like opening a hymnal and singing together as a family.  I always come away from it sensing that bonds have been strengthened.  The bond between us and our God and the bonds between us as a family.  It is like glue holding us together.  

With every verse of truth we sing, I am encouraged, fortified and blessed.  

Do you ever get silly little songs in your head?  Maybe a little song from a movie?  I do!  And my kids do as well.  Sometimes they'll start singing it or repeating one line over and over and over again.  Until finally one of the older people in the house will say "Okay, that's enough."  We can hardly stand to hear the pointless phrase again.  Well, not so with hymns.  We want more.  And that is what I kept saying that evening.  Just one more?  I wanted to hang on to this time we were spending.  All those holding hymnals would flip through the pages searching for the next song to sing.  "How about this one?!"  "I really like this one!"

These are the words we want to imprint on the brain waves.  These are the tunes I want to have on my mind when I wake up in the morning and when I go to bed at night.  These are the choruses that I want to fill my heart to bursting throughout my day so that I can't help but sing when I'm doing the dishes.  These are the lines that contain doctrine so rich and deep that beautiful lessons of God are taught through their message. 

It brought joy to our home.  How could it not?  How can you be a grump when you're singing with all your heart?  Yes, some of our younger kids still need some encouragement to join in.  For now, they are observers and once in a while, if they get the chorus down, they join in a little bit.  I don't have to worry so much about any lack of enthusiasm from small children.  They'll catch on eventually.  

And it's times that we spend like this...all of us together and singing around our table that my heart will never forget.  In fact, it's something my heart will always hold on to. 

On my own terms {writing prompt}

It may happen to you at one time or another.  A person will seem to be avoiding you.  When you look their way, they look in the other direction.  When you walk toward them they quickly turn and go the other way.  Are you just imagining things?  You will wonder if you have offended them somehow.  You will begin to consider what you might have done that annoyed them.  You begin to imagine that you know what they are probably thinking.  But the truth is you are telling yourself stories.  You really do not know for certain what they are thinking.  You try to talk yourself out of feeling the way they are making you feel.  You come to the conclusion that you haven't done anything wrong so she must be the one with the issue.  The walls of defense gradually begin to erect themselves.  You think "Fine, if she wants to avoid me, I'll just avoid her."  Yes, it sounds so immature but that is your initial thought.  You think it's safer to keep your distance.  It's the easiest way to avoid those feelings of rejection.  

But then, something happens.  The Holy Spirit begins to soften your heart.  You realize that though that response would be easier and most comfortable, it is not the response that God wants.  You agree that it's petty, immature, unloving, and cowardly.  You whisper a prayer for strength and courage to do what goes against your natural instincts.  You conclude that you will pursue her.  Not in an annoying, you can't ever get away from me sort of way...but in an effort to extend yourself...to reach out to her...to love.  You decide that you will make the effort that she does not seem to want to make and you will see how she responds.  You do not plan to force yourself on her, you just plan to say "Hello, how are you?"  What's the worst thing that could happen, right?  You remind yourself that Christ himself was rejected by men.  He was perfect in love and in character and he always said and did the right thing...yet people rejected him.  He loved and people refused to accept his love.  He did great things for people and some were so careless they didn't take the time to thank him.  People will sin.  Every one of us. 

I have learned (and continue to learn) that loving my neighbor as myself means not giving them the treatment that they give me.  That often means that I will have to refuse to give in to my feelings and the way I naturally want to react to things.  I have to choose to obey God in those moments.  He has to be the one that I love most.  I have to know that the worst thing I can do is respond is the same manner as the other person...avoid, withdraw emotionally, act like nothing is wrong...these kinds of responses weaken our relationships.  It takes courage and hope in God to rise above that and to respond in his way.  Love others, even when it seems like they aren't loving you back...and see God working as relationships are being built and strengthened rather than being destroyed.

Jesus said...

"As you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.  If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you?  For even sinners love those who love them.  And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you?  For even sinners do the same.  And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you?  Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount.  But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.  Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful."    

Luke 6:31-36

Linking up for the writing prompt here: http://www.ellenstumbo.com/on-her-own-terms/

Jesus made time for children and so did they

Jesus had time for children.  Has that ever just made you cry?  Ok, I confess, when I sat down Monday morning to start this week's Bible Study lesson I was probably still a little tenderhearted.  I'll tell you why...

Sunday evening my husband and oldest daughter had to be at church early for choir practice.  Sometimes we drive separately for various reasons but it is our preference to drive together and save the gas.  So anyway, once we got to church Jav and Amera went right in and we waited in the van for a while.  Manny was sleeping and of course I wanted him to get as much sleep as possible.  But it wasn't long before the kids were asking when we were going to go inside the building so I set a time when we would go.  It would still be early.  Plenty of time to pick our seats and wait for the nursery workers to arrive so that I could get Manny and Isabel settled.

Maybe you have noticed that sometimes it is difficult to get children (especially in the toddler stage) moving after they have fallen asleep for a nap?  It seems to be doubly difficult if this nap takes place in a car seat.  Would you agree?  So let's just say Manny was struggling.  Once we got going and headed inside to put our Bibles on our seats, it was time for me to head over to the nursery with Manny and Isabel.

As we turned the corner, a sweet young couple was walking in the door and toward us.  We greeted each other and then they turned their attention toward Manny.  Still groggy from his nap and feeling any myriad of emotions he may have been feeling, he decides to move his body behind my leg in an effort to hide.  He and I have spoken about this before.  He does it every once in a while, depending on his current mood.  Honestly, sometimes he surprises me because he hasn't done it in so long.  Anyway, he knows it's not right and I remind him that God wants him to be friendly and love others, not hide from them.

In between my coaching and reminding him of what he ought to do, this sweet couple spoke kind words to him.  The woman reminded Manny about how they had played together in the nursery that morning (as they often do during the Sunday School hour).  "Remember the tower we built?"  "Was it this high, Manny?"  Meanwhile, I had pulled Manny out from behind my leg and I was gently speaking to him about being friendly (he's three but he has to learn) and by that point he was in tears.  It's wasn't the first time.  He had cried back at the van too.  My little guy is passionate, let me tell you.  He gets SUPER excited and he gets SUPER upset.  Every day I am teaching him more about handling his emotions appropriately and I pray to God for wisdom.

Back to the couple.  They didn't give up on Manny.  It's such a delicate line, isn't it?  I was thinking they might just move on any minute.  For some reason (nap interrupted or maybe just plain sin) their attempts to reach out to him were causing him to cry. But they didn't let that stop them.  They kept trying.  The man told us he'd be right back and he walked over to the nursery and got two stickers.  One for Manny and one for Isabel.  And it's right here that my tears are welling up again.  It just touched my heart so much.

I didn't cry in that moment either.  It wasn't until this morning when I read these words in my Bible Study.

Jesus had time for children. (Mark 10: 13-16)

It wasn't until then that I fully realized how much that whole episode had meant to me.  Their faces, so sweet and tender, taking the time to reach out to my son...not being scared away by his grouchy tears.  Needing to be somewhere but not being in such a hurry that they overlooked the people in their path.  So much like Christ toward us.

And it is this that I love so much about my Lord: He wasn't in a hurry and he loved the people in his path.

Love takes time and effort.  And it often happens in those little moments that God puts before us.  Just a little extra attention and Manny quit crying.  And who knew that his momma would be crying the next morning? :)

"Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such

belongs the kingdom of God." -Jesus in Mark 10:14

Even after all the ups and downs, I love you still

Dear Javier, 

I just have to chuckle whenever I see this photo.  Sometime in the year 2000, wasn't it?  Probably taken by some automatic camera as soon as the ride began...

Look at me...ha!...looking terrified and probably thinking "I'm gonna die!"

Look at you...probably thinking "Yeah!  Bring it on!"  You always were ready for just about anything.  Me?  Not so much.  Still, in this roller coaster of life we have had so much we have had to learn, haven't we?

Me...always wanting to get things done NOW...overly concerned that time would run out and it wouldn't get done.

You...not in a rush, planning to do it later...calm and unhurried.

You...often reminding me that sometimes the work can wait.  Sometimes what I think is best, isn't.  And how often have you had to slow me down to just sit and talk and cuddle?  You have taught me how to put first things first.

I remember the frustration we felt...

Me...because I wanted that shelf put together TODAY.  

You...because I was asking you to do it without taking into account all of the other pressures you were facing.

Bit by bit we are learning to love each other more selflessly.  Isn't that what marriage is all about?

I've learned to communicate well with you.  To be clear about what I need...not to assume that you ought to know already.  We seem to have come to a point of being on the same team instead of working against each other.  When I need your help, I know that I can ask you when would be a good day to accomplish it.  I have learned to trust you more and to treat you that way.  I have also learned to be a little more flexible if the day we set aside rolls around and suddenly plans have to change.  

I grew to know you more--to know how you prefer to be approached.  It took many tries...and you have learned so much about me too...after many tries.  

I know I have had my share of complexities and you have probably wondered if you would ever understand me.

I think of all the silly things I have grown out of.  Remember early on in our marriage when I didn't want you to touch my face because I worried that it would cause me to break out (yes, I had a rough time with acne in my adolescence)?  Ok, confession--that was a little OCD.  It seems so silly to me now--but, like it or not, that was me.  You kept loving me anyway.  Thank you, honey.

And speaking of complexity and difficulty in being understood...some people like to put that label on women, but I have struggled at times too.  Both of us have spent years trying to understand the each other and all the while God has been reminding us that love does not give up.  Ever.

I loved you then, and I still do.  It may sound cliche to say that I love you even more than ever after all of these eighteen years.  But it's true, I do.  We've been through so much together.  It's been painful at times.  And I won't lie, there were times when I even thought to myself "I'm gonna die!"  We've certainly had our ups and downs.  But by God's grace we have learned to love each other more and more with each passing day.  I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you!

P.S. 

It means a lot that you try your best to get to things that I need you to help me with around the house.  I've noticed how you have been getting to things right away, especially in the past couple of years.  I know that you know how much it means to me.  God taught me to be patient and wait and love you.  At the same time, he was working in your heart to learn to love me in a very tangible way.  

I praise him for his redeeming grace!

With love, 

Marisha

[Sidenote: the other guy in that photo up there has always amused me.  He looks way too calm under the circumstances!  Also, I very much doubt that he walked off that ride with his sunglasses intact!]

When a heart's cry becomes a prayer

A little group of women gathered in the kitchen to talk.  Personal struggles and burdens were shared.  They spoke of one of the deepest heartaches a mother can experience...having a grown child that has gone their own way and turned from the Lord.

In some small way I felt the pain of these moms.  The anguish they have felt and still feel is something I have not experienced but I can only imagine how painful it is.

Which of us would take it lightly that the children we have carried within our very own bodies, and nursed and held and taught the way of righteousness have rejected the truth?  Honestly, it grieves me and frustrates me now when my children are small.  I see their foolish choices and I think "How childish" and I hope and pray that when they grow up they will be wiser.  It seems like a natural progression doesn't it?  As parents, we know the dangers, the consequences, the potential outcomes and we want to pass on what we know...

Hear, my son, your father's instruction, and forsake not your mother's teaching, 

for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.  

My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent...

Be not wise in your own eyes;

fear the LORD, and turn away from evil.

It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.

Proverbs 1:8-10, 3:7-8

Isn't this the cry of every Christian parent's heart? 

I know that I cannot make my children into Christians.  I cannot force them to love God.  There is no transaction that can guarantee that if I do Y--X amount of times then my children will turn out wholeheartedly loving God.  God is working in hearts and drawing people to himself.  Yet each individual bears a personal responsibility.  As a parent, I point out the way and make it as clear as possible.  My children must choose for themselves how they will respond.  It is a path that I cannot make them walk.

So I can teach, I can train, my concerns may turn to worry and then back to trust that my Father loves them even more than I do...but in all of this do I fervently pray for them?

And this was something that I was becoming increasingly aware of before I stood there in the kitchen with these ladies.  The fact that if I am going to be praying for anyone at all, then God forbid I neglect to pray for my children.  And when one of the ladies spoke the words "We need to do more battle in prayer", they were just what I needed to hear.  Because sometimes, I get comfortable.  Everything seems to be going along just fine and it is easy to forget about the fact that this is serious business.  It becomes easy to judge only by what I can see and forget that Satan prowls about like a roaring lion seeking to devour us whole (1 Peter 5:8).  He is vicious and vile and he shows no mercy.

I know that I can be much more engaged in this battle.  Satan and even our own flesh would deceive us.  Some might scoff at all this talk about Satan and sinful hearts but Christians know better.  We know the sobering truth.  How seriously are we taking it today?

How great is our need for the power of God in our lives?!  How little are we seeking him and how small are our requests?

It is true that I cannot make my children love God, but I can go to my loving God and pray on their behalf.  He hears my prayers.  And I can be assured that I am engaged in the battle but ultimately it belongs to the Lord.

Remember to pray for your children today, that their hearts would be tender to the Lord and responsive to wisdom and truth.  Pray for other families in your church.  For the moms and dads that are striving to make teaching their children about God a priority and for those who need to strive more.  Pray for families that are enduring the heartache of watching their grown children turn from the purity of the gospel to follow after sin and selfishness.  It is not too late for their children to realize they have gone the wrong way and turn back.  With God there is ALWAYS hope, healing and forgiveness.  I'm sure all this has brought to your mind many burdens that you can bring before the Lord in prayer.

Join me?