When we aren't getting a clear enough picture

One of the main things I desire to teach my children is that the accounts that we have in the Bible are not just good stories.  They are not even just good stories meant to simply teach us a moral lesson.  We learn about our great and awesome God through these accounts!  I want them to understand that the people that we read about were just like us.  They struggled with sin.  They struggled to trust God and love him with their whole heart.  Agreed, they didn't have the internet and video games but they had things that distracted them from thinking about God, spending time with him and getting to know him better.  We may think we have more challenges these days to living a godly life but the fact is, sin and it's desires are nothing new.

I have often been concerned about the tendency that people can have of misunderstanding what God was doing through his people in the Old Testament.  I'm sure Daniel knew that God was able to save him from the lions but that does not mean that he didn't feel any fear.  Remember, he didn't know exactly how things were going to turn out.  And just imagine if you were lowered into a den of lions.  Wouldn't you be scared? Wouldn't your heart be pounding?  Daniel was resolved to trust God through it but he didn't know that God would prevent the lions from tearing him to shreds.  We don't know what God is going to do.  We just know he is able to do all things.  That is where our trust is.

We have to be careful that we don't make a caricature of these people.  Sometimes children's Bible Story books do this.  I believe that it is possible for us to be somewhat blind to certain things that are right under our noses.  Sometimes our heart can be in the right place concerning teaching our children what is right yet the images around them convey a different message.

Have you ever sat down and really studied the pictures in children's Bible Story books?  If you haven't lately, take some time to look at them and ask if that is how you want your children to see those people. Sometimes, the pictures can say even more than the words.  But even the words are sometimes not accurate.  Watch out for the subtle twists that authors superimpose into the story.  Watch out for the subtle influence of their opinion that is not Bible truth.  It happens a lot in Bible movies but it also happens in Bible Story books.

I can't tell you how many I have rejected because of the strange and unrealistic artwork they are illustrated with.  For example, either Noah is depicted as some wild man with his long gray hair in disarray or he looks goofy and childish as though he's lost his mind.  Sometimes, the characters are depicted in such a way that they look scary or on the opposite side of the spectrum, they look cartoonish (or they look like vegetables! Does anyone else think this may not be a good idea?). I don't think all this helps with our children developing the understanding that these were real people.  These were people who laughed, cried and lived.  These were people who feared, failed to trust and got distracted. These were people who had a strong faith in God, though sometimes it wavered.  People just like you and me.

For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.  Romans 15:4

Now these things took place as examples for us, that we might not desire evil as they did...

1 Cor. 10:6

Be careful, our children are not the only ones in danger of having a poor understanding of the Old Testament.  Many who have grown up hearing these stories either every day of their lives or at least once a week in Sunday School, have a tendency to think that they know all there is to know.  They "know" all of the stories about Abraham, Noah and King David like the back of their hand.  The question is do they know God better because of the way in which God worked in the lives of those people?  Have the things that the people in the Bible experienced in their walk with God been brought to bear on the way they live today?  Have they been "instructed" by it as it says in Romans 15:4?

In contrast, there are those who came to know the Lord later in life.  This is my category.  I pretty much avoided the Old Testament for years.  I thought it would be too hard to understand and would be way over my head.  The New Testament seemed so much easier to grasp and, well...NEWER!  I felt as though the Old Testament was a mountain I shouldn't dare to climb.  I later discovered how much I was missing.  Things like reading the very words of God spoken through the prophets.  I was also missing out on knowing God better through the way that he worked in others lives.  It is a book full of testimonies!  We also learn more about ourselves as we see how people responded in different circumstances.  And we find that we often respond in similar ways.  Please don't skip out on reading the Old Testament.  The gospel and God's plan to redeem us are displayed from cover to cover.  

Read and be encouraged.  God is working in your life as intimately and carefully as he worked in theirs.  He is not overlooking any of the details.  Even through hardships and difficulty his desire is for you to know him more and to grow in your faith.  Just like the people we read about in his Word.  May God bless you as you seek to know him through its pages and to teach your children about his awesome deeds.

A little more perspective

I recently finished reading "Family Driven Faith" by Voddie Baucham Jr..  There is much in this book to be praised and commended.  What parent doesn't need all the encouragement they can get to live out the gospel and to teach it to their children on a daily basis?  Sometimes we need to be shaken up a bit and rise up out of our comfort and complacency to fulfill our God-given responsibilities.

I appreciate his exposure of the wrong thinking of the culture around us as well as popular church culture.  As Christians, we are can be prone to go with the flow of what is happening around us without questioning if it is good, right or biblical.  The author points out that when it comes to marriage, some see it as an entrapment to avoid as long as possible or at least until they have experienced what life "really" has to offer.  When it comes to children, they are seen as a burden to prevent or minimize.  There is much ungodly thinking that has affected us even more than we sometimes realize.  And he points out our flawed thinking in the book.

There is also much encouragement in this book to be a strong, God-centered family.  I appreciate that.  We need more of that.  He encourages regular family time spent worshiping God together.

The chapter on love was very well thought out.  He takes a good look at the incorrect view of love that is so prevalent in our culture.  While many are so focused on romance, feelings and falling in and out of love, God calls his people to a much higher standard.  He says "Love is proved by our efforts.  If I say I love God, there should be evidence in the things I do (or the way I expend my energy and effort).  By the same token, if I say I love my wife, that should be evidenced by my actions.  If my actions are self-centered, I am demonstrating love for me.  However, if my actions are directed toward meeting her needs, then she truly is the object of my affections."  Now that is biblical.

It wasn't really until I got to chapter seven that I began to run into some issues with what I was reading.  I have already addressed my concerns with his take on schooling options for our kids and church nurseries here: Different perspectives.  But as I finished reading the book I came across some other areas of concern.

First, his beliefs concerning raising godly children are very deterministic.  Here is a quote from page 164: "Parenting is a tough job, and we have a limited amount of time to accomplish a lifetime of work.  As I write this chapter, my daughter is finishing her last year of high school, and my oldest son has about three years left (the babies haven't started yet).  When that time comes, it will be nearly impossible to undo the things that were done badly or redo things that were missed.  Sure, I will still have a relationship with my children, but for the most part the die will have been cast."  I cringed when I read this.  While I do understand the significant responsibility that we have as parents to teach our children about God and to teach them right from wrong, this kind of thinking puts all the weight on the parents.  And often, especially once the children have grown, many parents are unnecessarily laden with guilt if their children turn from the Lord.

I did not grow up in a Christian environment.  My mind was, in many ways, saturated with ungodly thinking and as I grew I made my own choices and I am responsible for those choices.

"Nearly impossible to undo the things that were done badly"?  "For the most part the die will have been cast"?  God, by his grace, can overcome any obstacle to pointing out the path to faith and obedience to his word.  Yes, as parents we do our part, but it is not completely up to us to make our children Christians.  That will depend on God's gracious work of mercy and their turning to him in faith and repentance.

There are many examples in the Bible of parents who had a strong faith in God and their children went their own way.  There are also examples of children who completely turn from the lifestyle of wickedness exemplified by their parents and yet the children turn wholeheartedly to God to serve him and love him all of their days.  Is it best to have parents who love God and teach their children about him every chance they get?  YES!  But I believe that we can encourage parents to do this without using the language used in the book.  There is always grace, there is always forgiveness, and there is always hope.  All parents are flawed and have their weaknesses and struggles.  To adopt this mindset that my actions will set in stone how my child relates to God and others is leaving God out of the picture.  I can have a huge impact in their lives and what I do as a parent matters for eternity.  I am doing the best I can to honor God with how I parent my children.  And as parents we should continually aim to do better as we grow in grace.  But that's just it.

We are growing in grace.

Secondly, I would like to give some perspective to his points about youth ministry.  His main concern is that parents are not discipling their youth in their own homes.  He is right that some have the highly errant philosophy that it is the job of the church (and only the church) to teach their children about God.  He gives many worst case scenario examples.  For example, in the book the author quotes a youth minister from North Carolina who said "If I become too pastoral, the kids won't be entertained, and they will go down the street to the guy with all the bells and whistles.  If I become too evangelistic, I get complaints about the shallowness of the group and the post-youth ministry dropout rate.  I can't win."

The author goes on to say that "This explains why parents who take their disciple-making mandate seriously are beginning to be skeptical about turning their children over to the youth ministry.  How does a mother build truth into her daughter's life, nurture her, guard her, and encourage her toward the application of that truth, then send her into an environment that will oftentimes by its very nature be hostile or at least ambivalent toward that truth?  How does a father raise his son to respect young women and protect their purity only to send him off to the youth building with exposed midriffs, low-cut tops and skin tight jeans?  Again, this is not universal.  However, it is prevalent."

Ahem.  I will not sit here and attempt to make the claim that I have a perfect youth group in my church.  There are no perfect youth groups and there are no perfect churches for that matter.  That is primarily what concerns me with this book.  The family integration model is presented as if it does not have any flaws.  I have never seen it in action so I cannot speak for it.  But I do have one question to pose.

The author's main objection to having a "youth ministry" is that we should not hand over our youth to be discipled by someone else.  It is our job and we should be doing it.  Yes, I agree we should be the primary disciplers in our homes but I have a question here.  What happens in a family integration setting?  Do they follow the biblical model of hearing the Word of God preached by a pastor when they go to church?  If so, wouldn't that constitute having someone else teaching your children about God, even if they are sitting right there next to you?

I understand, there are flaws in some youth ministries.  Youth ministry aside, there are flaws in churches.  But we don't abandon the ministry all together.  We seek to improve it.  I believe there is a way to do it right and in a way that honors God without abdicating our role as parents.  Interaction between all ages should be regularly encouraged and opportunities can be provided to encourage this.  To say that the best way is to have every age sitting in a church service together is not necessarily the only way.  We teach our children according to age in so many other aspects of learning.  I am not so sure that we should avoid doing this when it comes to instruction in the Bible.  But I am not professing to be an expert either.  My point is that I may not attend a family integration church but that does not mean that because we have a church nursery and a youth group that we are failing to honor God as we ought.

My children go to the nursery and they go to classes that are geared toward their age.  But that does not mean that they never interact with our church family or that they cloister with their peers avoiding anyone who is not their age.  Does this happen in some cases?  Yes.  But it can happen in any environment if young people are not focused on being used of God in whatever age group they cross paths with at church.  Again, it goes back to what is taught at home combined with the heart of that young person.  Those things will always affect what we bring to the world around us and to the church.

A youth ministry can have a God-centered, God-honoring focus.  I appreciate the ministry we have at our church.  Amera (17 years old) sits with us in the service and she goes to a classroom with the other teens during Sunday School.  They are taught God's Word by other people who love the Lord like we do.  She also sits with us on Sunday evenings and every other Wednesday night.  I think this is a very good balance.  During Sunday School, we as parents have the opportunity to interact with other men and women and the Word of God.  We have opportunities to share our struggles in times of discussion without our children sitting right next to us, listening.  I think that these are valuable times that are edifying.

Yes, there will be fun activities for our teens, just the same as there are fun activities for adults.  But when it comes to Sunday School, the goal is not to entertain them, it is to support what the parents should be doing at home and teach them the Word of God.  In reality, all believers should be encouraging and supporting each other in our efforts to look to Christ ourselves and then to point our children to him as well.  We may not be in a church setting where our children are always at our side but then again, we do have them the whole week through do we not?

Different perspectives {writing prompt}

When I opened my email this week to see what the writing prompt was, a smile spread across my face.  I've been thinking a lot about "different perspectives" lately.  I've spent time reflecting on my own perspective toward things like parenting, schooling options, and the way that we do things in church and outside of church.  And I find that, though we can have a very strong stance on some of our preferences, what works for one may not work for another.  And it's usually when our perspective clashes with a perspective different from ours that we really have to evaluate our attitude about it.

One thing that can motivate pride in our hearts is that we have found something that works so well for us...shouldn't everybody else do it the same way?  We have found a great way to achieve what we believe to be God's best and others ways of doing things become second rate or even unacceptable.

I have to admit, I get a little uncomfortable when a new parent comes to me for parenting advice and I feel as if they think I am some sort of parenting guru and I know all of the right answers to every unique situation.  I have not faced every situation. I have been at this parenting thing for a while but I am not an expert, nor will you be.  I only know what I have done and the results that I have experienced.  But that is with my kids.  I fear that though some of the parenting philosophies out there have been helpful to some, other parents end up frustrated and feeling guilty because it's not working for them.  It's ok if one thing doesn't work, you can try another approach and not feel like you are a bad parent.  Read books, think, evaluate, pray and consider your personal situation.  What will work for you?  Of course, I am speaking on matters of preference.

Being in a big family has given me even more perspective than what I had before because I find that what worked with one child does not work with another.  How much more from family to family?

If something has worked well for me, I'll share it.  But I'll say "This is what I did/do"  and maybe they can try that if they are inclined.  But I am not going to put forth my way of doing things as the be all and end all in parenting.  I have to stay humble and remember that though I've learned much, there is still more to learn.  Each of us lives in a different context and stage of life.  Our personalities differ and so do the personalities of our children.

As for schooling?  There is much to consider and the decision shouldn't be made lightly.  There is a great need for parents to step up to the plate and make the discipleship of their children the primary focus.  But that does not always mean homeschooling.  Homeschooling is not even an option for some.  And it may not always be the best choice.  Homeschooling doesn't even guarantee discipleship.  Even with my kids with me all day I can still get too busy with life and neglect to disciple them.  I understand the public schools and even Christian schools pose their challenges but I really think we are putting our own limitation on God when we say that homeschooling is the only way.  "Public school" doesn't necessarily mean "bad" and "Christian school" doesn't necessarily mean "good" either.  Do your research and think and pray through your options carefully.  I could be wrong on this but I'm pretty sure that God leads people in different ways.  It's true that there are many parents who send their kids off to school and don't spend any time discipling them in the ways of the Lord.  But there are others who do.  Homeschooling is not the only way to live in obedience to Deuteronomy chapter six.  I am certainly not trying to discourage homeschooling.  I am just saying please be careful about developing a perspective that thinks that it is the only option.

Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our current context that we forget that there are other God-honoring ways of doing things.  I was just talking with a friend the other day about the way we used to think.  She went through a time in her life where she felt that the only way to be modest was to wear a long and full skirt.  Everywhere.  Even while skiing.  I can also remember a time in my past where I might not have been that serious about it but I was buying into the thinking that stresses that a skirt is the only way to be the most feminine and godly as possible.  I don't think so anymore.  I think that a woman can be very feminine and modest in pants.  And in many situations it is the most practical and comfortable thing to wear.  It is often when our perspective comes face to face with another that we begin to reevaluate things.

Recently, in a book I am reading, the author talked about "family integrated church".  This is a church that practices keeping their children with them in a church service.  They do not have nurseries and he spoke very negatively about them and the parents who use them.  He believes that the nursery is "one of the greatest crutches in the church".  He also said that "Parents who have neglected to train their children have very little encouragement to do so when there is a place to hide them." (Voddie Baucham Jr., Family Driven Faith, pg. 147)

Ok, I get it.  There are parents who are neglecting to train their children to sit still.  Some have seen the need for it but perhaps they don't think it is possible for one so little.  We are dealing with imperfect people here who need hope and encouragement that it is possible.  He gives that in the book but I found some of his words to be offensive.  From my perspective, I am someone who trains my children at home.  I am in a context where we do have a church nursery.  My child goes there and is lovingly cared for and I can focus on hearing the message that God has for me that day.  And I am not unspiritual, neglectful, or irresponsible for putting my child in a nursery.  I am also freeing others from the potential distraction that could come as a result of bringing my small babies/children in the service.

I am glad that family integration is working for some it definitely sounds like it has its benefits.  But that is one context among many.  There are people struggling with parenting.  There are parents who would not feel they could sit through a church service with their kids.  There are parents who are training them at home and it just so happens that the child is not "getting it" as quickly as another child did.  And there are so many occasions for pride if we are not careful.  This is ministry and we cannot cookie cut everyone.  Especially when there are people who have just come to Christ and just walked through the doors of the church.  Are we going to tell that struggling, needy for hope and encouragement mom that we do not have an place to care for her little ones while she listens to the Word of God?  I am sorry, but looking back to when that was my case I think I might have turned and ran.  It's going to take time, discipleship and God working in her heart to get anywhere close to having her children sit still through a service.  Shouldn't we consider her perspective?  There is much to appreciate and agree with in this book.  The importance of a strong family unit and taking ownership of discipling our kids.  But in different families, places and situations that doesn't always play out exactly the way we think it should.  (You can read another review on the book here: A little more perspective)

What about you?  Have you ever found that you have held to a strong perspective on something but another perspective made you think twice?

(About the photo above: Brienne and I are learning to play guitar together.  Fun!  My "HP" laptop died yesterday.  Not fun.  It seems we are never a two laptop family for long.  Thankfully, I can use my husband's laptop.  The thing is, the only pictures I have on here are of Brienne with her guitar.  It doesn't exactly have anything to do with this post but I hope you enjoyed it anyway! :)

Linking up for the writing prompt here: http://www.ellenstumbo.com/different-perspectives/

Expectations for Mother's Day can be maddening (for both of us)

{my husband made some crazy faces the evening that we took pictures 

in the parking lot of California Dreaming.  Love him!  We had so much fun!}

On Mother's Day, our husbands (and our children too) are put to the test, are they not?.  It's as if they have to prove on this day how much they really love and appreciate us.  Some are really good at planning and come up with great ideas that are sure to impress.  Others don't seem to plan at all.  Maybe it overwhelms them, maybe they're not good with surprises and romance, maybe they've been so busy with life at full speed, maybe they don't have any ideas, maybe they don't have the money...for whatever reason it may be, I think that many of us women find ourselves in a pretty sad state if our expectations aren't met on a day that should be just as joyous as any other.

There is so much pressure put on our husbands for Mother's Day (and Valentine's Day for that matter) that  I really have to question if we have missed the mark.  It's almost as if we demand our goodies.  We want him to concoct unique, thoughtful, impressive plans.  We might even be willing to settle for chocolates and a card...a single rose maybe?  SOMETHING!  And we feel unloved if he doesn't deliver.  This is not a day to feel unloved and depressed when we don't get goodies.  This is a day to thank the Lord for moms.  Shouldn't that be our focus?  If you have one, thank him.  If you are one, praise him.  If neither is the case, God is still good and his love is infinite.

I hope that, as moms, we will continue to be more focused on giving than on getting...and yes, that should also be our attitude on Mother's Day!  That is the NOT the message that we tend to hear or believe.  The message in our minds goes something like this..."If he loves and appreciates me he'll either buy something for me or do something for me."  The bar is raised so high on this day.  Of course, we hear all of the news about what other men did for their wives.  One friend gets breakfast in bed and doesn't have to lift a finger all day.  Another friend gets a box of chocolates and a poem written from the heart.  And another friend's kids went all out and made her special hand-made gifts.  These are very sweet things and I am not saying they are wrong.  But what is wrong is our attitude when we don't get them.

Are we discontent?  Are we missing out on an opportunity to love our husbands (yes, it will feel sacrificial) when we don't get what we were expecting?  Are we falling into the trap of comparing ourselves with others?  I wonder how many tears were shed in homes across the world yesterday because of dashed expectations.  I wonder how many hurtful words were spoken because mother's didn't feel loved enough.

Please ladies, don't allow bitterness to eat away at you.  God has given you a husband to love, as is.  He is flawed ( I know this because all men are) and he is learning to love you, just like you are learning to love him. Don't allow the messages of what "you should be getting" on Mother's Day overshadow the message of God.  Focus on how you can honor and love God in the secret place of your heart on this post-Mother's Day and every Mother's Day that God allows you to experience after that.

God is good, he has given you a man to love, you are a servant of God in your home...none of that has changed.  Be thankful to the Lord for all that he has given you.

May I suggest pulling out a pen and paper and considering all the things you have to thank God for, especially concerning your husband, and write them down as they come to mind.  It's an amazing exercise and you will be so glad you did.

And so will he.

Please take these verses to heart...

...Let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.  1 Peter 3:4

The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.  She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.  Proverbs 31:11-12

...(If I) have not love, I am nothing...
Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful.  1 Cor. 13:2b, 5

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.  1 Thess. 5:18

And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.  Col. 3:17

When a family sings together

My husband and I had talked about it for some time.  He wanted to get a set of hymnals for our home.  One that Amera could use at the piano and others that we could all share.  We are thankful that we had even one hymnal before.  But having three has greatly improved the time we spend together singing.

A few evenings ago, after we had eaten dinner and sat around the table together, we opened these hymnals.  There is nothing like opening a hymnal and singing together as a family.  I always come away from it sensing that bonds have been strengthened.  The bond between us and our God and the bonds between us as a family.  It is like glue holding us together.  

With every verse of truth we sing, I am encouraged, fortified and blessed.  

Do you ever get silly little songs in your head?  Maybe a little song from a movie?  I do!  And my kids do as well.  Sometimes they'll start singing it or repeating one line over and over and over again.  Until finally one of the older people in the house will say "Okay, that's enough."  We can hardly stand to hear the pointless phrase again.  Well, not so with hymns.  We want more.  And that is what I kept saying that evening.  Just one more?  I wanted to hang on to this time we were spending.  All those holding hymnals would flip through the pages searching for the next song to sing.  "How about this one?!"  "I really like this one!"

These are the words we want to imprint on the brain waves.  These are the tunes I want to have on my mind when I wake up in the morning and when I go to bed at night.  These are the choruses that I want to fill my heart to bursting throughout my day so that I can't help but sing when I'm doing the dishes.  These are the lines that contain doctrine so rich and deep that beautiful lessons of God are taught through their message. 

It brought joy to our home.  How could it not?  How can you be a grump when you're singing with all your heart?  Yes, some of our younger kids still need some encouragement to join in.  For now, they are observers and once in a while, if they get the chorus down, they join in a little bit.  I don't have to worry so much about any lack of enthusiasm from small children.  They'll catch on eventually.  

And it's times that we spend like this...all of us together and singing around our table that my heart will never forget.  In fact, it's something my heart will always hold on to. 

Jesus made time for children and so did they

Jesus had time for children.  Has that ever just made you cry?  Ok, I confess, when I sat down Monday morning to start this week's Bible Study lesson I was probably still a little tenderhearted.  I'll tell you why...

Sunday evening my husband and oldest daughter had to be at church early for choir practice.  Sometimes we drive separately for various reasons but it is our preference to drive together and save the gas.  So anyway, once we got to church Jav and Amera went right in and we waited in the van for a while.  Manny was sleeping and of course I wanted him to get as much sleep as possible.  But it wasn't long before the kids were asking when we were going to go inside the building so I set a time when we would go.  It would still be early.  Plenty of time to pick our seats and wait for the nursery workers to arrive so that I could get Manny and Isabel settled.

Maybe you have noticed that sometimes it is difficult to get children (especially in the toddler stage) moving after they have fallen asleep for a nap?  It seems to be doubly difficult if this nap takes place in a car seat.  Would you agree?  So let's just say Manny was struggling.  Once we got going and headed inside to put our Bibles on our seats, it was time for me to head over to the nursery with Manny and Isabel.

As we turned the corner, a sweet young couple was walking in the door and toward us.  We greeted each other and then they turned their attention toward Manny.  Still groggy from his nap and feeling any myriad of emotions he may have been feeling, he decides to move his body behind my leg in an effort to hide.  He and I have spoken about this before.  He does it every once in a while, depending on his current mood.  Honestly, sometimes he surprises me because he hasn't done it in so long.  Anyway, he knows it's not right and I remind him that God wants him to be friendly and love others, not hide from them.

In between my coaching and reminding him of what he ought to do, this sweet couple spoke kind words to him.  The woman reminded Manny about how they had played together in the nursery that morning (as they often do during the Sunday School hour).  "Remember the tower we built?"  "Was it this high, Manny?"  Meanwhile, I had pulled Manny out from behind my leg and I was gently speaking to him about being friendly (he's three but he has to learn) and by that point he was in tears.  It's wasn't the first time.  He had cried back at the van too.  My little guy is passionate, let me tell you.  He gets SUPER excited and he gets SUPER upset.  Every day I am teaching him more about handling his emotions appropriately and I pray to God for wisdom.

Back to the couple.  They didn't give up on Manny.  It's such a delicate line, isn't it?  I was thinking they might just move on any minute.  For some reason (nap interrupted or maybe just plain sin) their attempts to reach out to him were causing him to cry. But they didn't let that stop them.  They kept trying.  The man told us he'd be right back and he walked over to the nursery and got two stickers.  One for Manny and one for Isabel.  And it's right here that my tears are welling up again.  It just touched my heart so much.

I didn't cry in that moment either.  It wasn't until this morning when I read these words in my Bible Study.

Jesus had time for children. (Mark 10: 13-16)

It wasn't until then that I fully realized how much that whole episode had meant to me.  Their faces, so sweet and tender, taking the time to reach out to my son...not being scared away by his grouchy tears.  Needing to be somewhere but not being in such a hurry that they overlooked the people in their path.  So much like Christ toward us.

And it is this that I love so much about my Lord: He wasn't in a hurry and he loved the people in his path.

Love takes time and effort.  And it often happens in those little moments that God puts before us.  Just a little extra attention and Manny quit crying.  And who knew that his momma would be crying the next morning? :)

"Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such

belongs the kingdom of God." -Jesus in Mark 10:14

Making blueberry pancakes and musing on a great God

Early this morning before the kids awoke and before the smell of blueberry pancakes filled the air, I was up studying Psalm 62.  I was inspired to look into it a little deeper after the second part of verse 10 was pointed out in the Ladies Bible Study we did this past week.  Our study was about having a content heart.  

"If riches increase, set not your heart on them."  

I began to look a little deeper at this Psalm, to ponder the verses before and the verses after that one.  This morning I decided to look at the whole Psalm.  

I began to jot down notes and before long the pages in my journal began to fill.  I knew I would want to share it all here.  I will share what I wrote in another post but for now I want to go back to those blueberry pancakes. ;) 

After pouring the batter on the griddle I remembered the box of books that my husband had ordered.  One of them is "Knowing God" by J.I. Packer.  While I stood there in the kitchen and while my kids watched the traditional Saturday morning movie, I began to devour that book.  Just to give you an idea of how long I stood there grilling pancakes...I triple the recipe for our family!  So it takes a little while.  I have often felt like I have little time to read books.  I even wrote a post lamenting that fact.  But lately I have found that there are little windows of opportunity to read if I look for them.  It may not always involve me cozy under a blanket in my recliner but where there's a will there's a way.  And this morning for me it was while making blueberry pancakes.  

I had to force myself to put the book down whenever I had to pour more batter onto the griddle.  I actually made it all the way to page 22!  It was so exciting to me because the theme ran right along with what I was thinking and writing about earlier in the morning.  I'll leave you with the words that introduced chapter one of the book.  They are the words of C.H. Spurgeon.  I read them with an "Amen!" resounding in my heart.

"Oh, there is, in contemplating Christ, a balm for every wound; in musing on the Father, there is a quietus for every grief; and in the influence of the Holy Ghost, there is a balsam for every sore.  Would you lose your sorrow?  Would you drown your cares?  Then go, plunge yourself in the Godhead's deepest sea; be lost in his immensity; and you shall come forth as from a couch of rest, refreshed and invigorated.  I know nothing which can so comfort the soul; so calm the swelling billows of sorrow and grief; so speak peace to the winds of trial as a devout musing upon the subject of the Godhead."

And as J.I. Packer said (this book was published in 1973) "These words spoken over a century ago by C.H. Spurgeon (at that time, incredibly, only twenty years old) were true then, and they are true now."

We can say the same here in 2013.  We have an almighty, unchangeable God indeed.

<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>

Once in a while I read a chapter while I watch Isabel (out of the corner of my eye!) taking her bath.
I

Two more helpful tips:

~I am enjoying my "Book Gem".  It holds my book open for me so that I can snag opportunities to read while I'm using my hands to do other things.  While cooking, applying makeup, folding laundry, you get the idea.

~I like to use little sticky tabs.  Whenever I start a book I put about ten of them in the back.  One, I use for a bookmark.  No more losing my place when one of my children picks up my book and out falls the bookmark!  The others I use to mark places I want to remember or go back to later.  No more forgetting where in the world that awesome paragraph is!  I like to share what I read with my husband and my kids so this method works very well for me.  It also prevents dog-earring the pages and I don't have to worry if I can't find my highlighter because all the tabs are stuck in the back of the book!  

Have a blessed weekend!  And maybe you could even squeeze in a little time to read? ;)

Fun on Christmas break

It's still dark outside and I can hear the comforting sounds of rain.  I am taking a bit of a risk as I begin to write.  Isabel has already woken up twice this morning and then gone back to sleep...will she interrupt my happy typing with her cries?

I have been enjoying Christmas break immensely.  The "extra" time to get more accomplished and to finally make some things that I've wanted to make for a long time.

Like this...

[ Skip this part if the details about my pacy clip bore you ;) ]

I crocheted this pacy clip using the "MAM" attachment from the store-bought clip.  I love these pacy's but I do not like the clips that are sold for them.  The neat thing about this pacy is that you never have to be concerned that it is upside down unless you are particular about the picture on it.  I love the designs they have too.  

I found the metal clips on Amazon.  I like this clip much better than the "MAM" one.  It stays in place and it's not so bulky.  So anyway, I'm pretty happy with my end result here and look forward to experimenting with other designs.

And these...

{the only thing I might change would be the seam on the hood...hmmmm...how to do that on the next one?}

I found the fabric for these at the thrift store for a few dollars.  Amera searched online for a tutorial on how to make a child's cloak and we were on our way.  She cut the fabric out and I did the sewing.  You should have seen Manny the first time I put it on him.  He was so excited  and happily ran around the house in it.  His brother, Javi, was out with his Dad and sisters when I made them.  So it was very exciting to surprise him with the finished product when he got home.  I love how the cloaks came out!!  The boys look so cute together don't they?

My next plan is to use a king sized sheet to make a cape for Brienne and Clara.  The sheet is plum purple and I also found it at the thrift store.

I still haven't found the top sheet for the duvet cover I am planning to make.  I am looking for something in a light color with a pattern...the search continues.  Target maybe?

It's been so fun to create!

It has also been fun to wrap gifts and anticipate giving them...I love how the kids are all excited to give their gifts to each other.  What a blessing!  I enjoyed wrapping these things I found for Joelle.  It was fun to write little clues in an attempt to intrigue her even more as to what they contain.

I look forward to waking up in the morning and gathering in the living room in our PJ's to open gifts while a french toast casserole bakes in the oven.  I wrapped a little booklet with a tag that says "The greatest gift of all, Ephesians 2:8-9".  The little booklet is similar to a wordless book but it has a verse on each card to share the gospel with the kids.  Javier and I are looking forward to the opportunity to emphasize how God's gift of eternal life through his Son Jesus Christ is the most precious gift we could ever receive.

This Christmas break has included so many fun memories of being together.  Shopping for something special, creating things together (our latest kick: earrings), watching movies at night and not worrying about getting to bed because we know we can sleep in, snuggling on the couch, and laughing at all the funny things the kids do!  I love my kids!  And soon I will finally do a little holiday baking.  In fact, I think today is a good day to pull out the cookie cutters and bake some sugar cookies!

Merry Christmas to all!  

Whether it's Christmas or not

I admit, I seem to have a difficult time with establishing some traditions.  At least, those traditions that seem so special and ideal to me.  I want my kids to look back and say that what mom and dad did with them year after year...well, it was wonderful!  Or, I want the repetitiveness of an activity to become so familiar to them that it will really stand out in their minds and they will never forget it and it will be meaningful to them.

So why am I having a difficult time with all of this?  First, I don't always enjoy repetition and sometimes I get bored of doing the same thing, in the same way.  It can feel a bit oppressive to me.  I am thinking specifically now of the Christmas season...we rarely do the same thing twice.

For some reason, I have ideals in my mind.  For example, I want there to be something special that I always bake every year so that it will be more memorable.  You know, "Mom always baked _____ for Christmas."  But I have a hard time deciding what one thing would be the best choice.  I like many things...and honestly this year I haven't been doing much baking at all.  That is my life right now.

Last year, we wanted to establish some traditions with our Christmas tree and what we did was fine, but this year using our ornaments as symbolic teaching tools just didn't get us excited.  We didn't do it.  We did try to teach them as they decorated the tree...and just casually talk about the gospel, but I realized that I am trying too hard to mix one activity with another.  It's okay to just decorate a tree.  It's fun!  And the gospel is beautiful and precious but the kids just want to talk and be goofy and oooh and aaaah over ornaments.  Why am I so concerned about forcing everything to be more spiritual at this time of year?  We can talk about the gospel any time and as often as possible!

I do want God to be loved and honored in the things that we do...but that is my focus all year round.  Why was I getting so concerned about Christmas?  Yes, it's special, but Christ's birth is special to me EVERY DAY.  If Christmas day were suddenly done away with I would not forget his miraculous birth.  His birth is the reason for everything, not just the season.  So anyway, these are just some of things I've been thinking about. 

This year my children are doing a gift exchange with each other.  We wrote their names on stickies, stuck them to a door and each child picked a name (except Isabel, Mommy would get her gift).  Taking them shopping has had it's fun moments and it's difficult moments.  It's interesting how we avoid gift giving because we don't want our children to be greedy for stuff, but this is an issue that we are going to have to deal with at one time or another.  I have seen the sin that shows up when I take a child shopping and they're supposed to be thinking of the person they are shopping for but all they can seem to do is think of themselves. This was my experience about a week ago when I took my first round of kids to go shopping.  One of my children was seeing many things they really wanted and they responded inappropriately to that.  It was written all over my child's face.  The pout, the furrowed brow, as the hard reality sunk in..."Remember, we are looking for a gift for your sister today, not for you...."  

I hated to see it.  It was ugly...the selfishness!  Sin showed up in Toys R Us.  And we talked about it right there in the aisle.  I rebuked, I warned, I pointed out the right way...and part of me wondered at all this shopping for gifts...but the more I think about it, I am glad that sin came to the surface so that we could deal with it.  My children are going to struggle with having the right focus about things...I will too.  But this is a year long struggle.  What we instill in them is not just at this time of year, it's every day of their lives.

And little Manny?  I took him shopping with his two oldest sisters.  He makes us laugh with the cute little things he says.  Toward the end of our shopping trip, he sat in the back of the cart.  When he saw a toy that interested him, I would hand it to him so that he could check it out while we looked at other things.  Sometimes, after playing with a toy for a few minutes, it can be a little hard to let go.  So I taught him to say "Bye" to it.  He was playing with this cute little green dragon stuffed animal (sorry that was a mouthful), and it just about melted my heart when he said something like "He's going to stay on my bed" and he was getting all dreamy and cuddly with it.  I confess, I wanted to get it for him right then and there but we had already done our shopping for him...so anyway, his little voice was so sweet as he wistfully said "Bye dragon..."  

Hold these things loosely son, learn it early.

So as far as traditions go, we are in this process of learning what we like to do and what we don't like to do.  And most of all I am learning that our traditions are going to have to reflect who we are, not who (for one reason or another) we think we ought to be.  In all my effort to establish new traditions, I have to be careful that I don't lose sight of the things that we as a family really do enjoy.  I choose not to do things that are overly stressful to me.  I choose to keep my focus on God and his goodness to me.  That is what I have been trying to do all along whether it's Christmas or not.   

I am thankful {writing prompt}

You know, anyone can sit around a table and tell what they are thankful for.  But what about who they are thankful to?  When a Christian gives thanks, it is to God.  Our words are not just spoken into the air.  Our words are not just so that we can feel pleased that we are being noble and good by exhibiting gratitude for all we have.  Our gratitude is expressed to God, who is the giver of every gift we have.

I printed out little "Give thanks" booklets for our family and I sat with the kids on a quiet afternoon.  Each of us sat, thinking and jotting things down.  We all chuckled a bit as I read the things that Brienne had helped Clara (5yrs.) to write down.  Most of what she wrote was food related.  Cake, cookies, candy etc.  The list went on and on.  We had to set a "one food item" limit!  I know she's only five...but still, we needed to get beyond all the treats she enjoys.  

And I think about myself.  How much more I need to be in the habit of thanking God.  How much more I should thank God on a daily basis and not just three times a day before meals.

It is good to thank God for everything...but let us not get too sidetracked by the food.  The awesome character of our God is something we can always praise and thank him for.  Things like turkey, mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie are all passing away and are not eternal like our God.

There is so much to praise God for!  Psalm 147 is packed with truth about God...

He heals the brokenhearted

and binds up their wounds.

He determines the number of the stars;

he gives to all of them their names.

Great is our Lord, and abundant in power;

his understanding is beyond measure.

Psalm 147:3-5

These verses are so encouraging if we believe them.  We can turn to the God who determines the number of stars in the sky with all of our heartache and pain and he heals us.  He comforts us.  Picture the vast number of stars in the sky and remember that it is our God who has set them there.  He knows each and every one by name.  We do not.  He is the great one.  He knows every single detail about your life and mine.

It is a comfort to me to think of God's greatness and his abundant power.  There are no limitations to what he is able to do nor to what he understands and knows.  Sometimes the thing that can bring us the greatest comfort can also be our greatest struggle.  Sometimes we think "If God is so powerful and able to do all things, then why did he do this to me?"  Or we wonder why he is taking so long to act on our behalf.  Sometimes it is hard for us to make sense of God's plan for us.  We have to remember that his understanding is beyond measure.  He who measures the stars cannot be measured.  He is almighty God.  Nothing, no not ONE single thing is outside of his control.  There is rest in that and there is peace because we serve a God who is not as limited in understanding as we are.  We serve a God who rules over all the earth with great power and majesty.  

But there is more to our God than power and rule and might.  There is love.  Steadfast, unchanging, unwavering, faithful, complete and boundless love.  He loves us more than we can possibly imagine.  And in all things that we experience here on earth, he is working for our good and to bring glory and honor to his name.  

Let us thank our God for who he is, today and forevermore.

Sing to the LORD with thanksgiving;

make melody to our God on the lyre!...

...the LORD takes pleasure in those 

who fear him, in those who hope

in his steadfast love.

Psalm 147: 7, 11

Linking up for the writing prompt here: http://www.ellenstumbo.com/i-am-thankful/

seven on seven {August}

 

We started a new little tradition today.  Since we have seven kids, I decided that I wanted to take a picture of all seven of them on the seventh of each month.  

I plan to do it in different places.  I plan to go to places we have never been before.  But today, we simply went to the library.  Originally I had planned to go somewhere else but since Jav is working day shift this week and it was raining today...I decided to keep it simple. 

I was glad that we went to the library because we had the opportunity to meet a very sweet lady who was there with her granddaughter.  We enjoyed talking with her and getting to know her while some of the kids looked at books and played on the computers.  We even made plans for a get together sometime soon. Sometimes God has unexpected surprises for us, doesn't he?

It was nearly one o'clock by the time we headed home.  I decided to drive through and get some pizza at Little Caesar's.  Since Manny was feeling sick in the drive-through I pulled into a parking space and we had a little picnic with pizza right there in the van.  It was fun, and just what everybody needed before we drove the rest of the way home. 

Right now, it's time to relax.  The kids are watching a movie from the library and for a little while I don't have to be a conflict resolver.  Yes, it's been one of those days.  This morning was especially difficult.  Time for me to pray and ask God to give me grace, strength and wisdom to work through every situation that comes up.  And to do it in love.  

majarete {a coconut pudding}

Majarete [mah-hah-reh-teh] is a creamy pudding that really has a "wow" factor in my opinion.

My beautiful mother in law made it for us when we were visiting her former home in New Hampshire several years ago.

It's cooked in a saucepan, so the first time I tried it, it was warm.  I was very impressed with it's rich, creamy, coco nutty flavor.

The second sampling came the following morning when my husband and I found the leftovers in the fridge.  It was one of those exceptional times when we ate dessert before breakfast. (Now I'm much more disciplined and only sneak a bite or two ;) . We ate a little bowl of it cold and wonder of wonders it was even more amazing!  I like it both ways, but I have to say that cold is the best.

With a desire to duplicate pure goodness, I asked my mother in law for the recipe.  She not only gave me the recipe, she taught me how to make it, step by step.  Have I mentioned that I have an amazing mother in law?  At the bottom of the recipe card I wrote "We made this together Saturday, Jan. 21, 2006."  It wasn't until recent weeks that I finally took a crack at it.  And I am happy to report success!  In fact, I've probably made about one batch per week (it goes quickly in this house) and I am getting pretty close to being able to make it in my sleep!  :)

FYI:  I did a little research on majarete and found that there are many versions...for example Dominicans and Cubans make it with corn.  Puerto Ricans (like my husband's family) make it with coconut.  Turns out it's a common thing to like it both hot and cold and it's not so out of the ordinary to have a little upon waking up in the morning!  Okay, there, I don't feel so bad now.  :)

Try it, you just might find a new favorite!

majarete

ingredients:

1 can sweetened condensed milk

1 can coconut milk

1 3/4 cup milk {divided}

1 cup rice flour

3 cinnamon sticks
1 tsp. salt

2 Tbsp. butter 
1 cap full of almond extract


to whip up the creamy goodness:


step one:  In a 4 cup measuring cup, combine the sweetened condensed milk and the coconut milk.  Stir carefully to combine.  Add milk (approx. 3/4 cup) to this mixture and fill to the four cup line.  Add one capful of almond extract and stir to combine.

step two:  Place cinnamon sticks in a bowl (cereal bowl size) and add a little water...just enough to barely cover the cinnamon sticks.  Microwave for 30 seconds and then pour it into a large saucepan.  Add to this the one cup of milk and the salt and the butter.  Turn on the heat to medium-high.


step three:  Gradually add the rice flour to the milk mixture in the "four cup" measuring cup.  Stirring carefully and constantly to incorporate.  When the rice milk is completely incorporated, add it to the saucepan mixture.  Stir continuously to thicken.  This will take about 5 minutes.  You will notice it thickening somewhere between 3 and 4 minutes.  When I stir, I keep my wooden spoon in the center of the pan and stir rapidly with small circles, sometimes stirring around the outer edge of the pan.  Be careful not to slosh and make a mess.  :)  It will thicken like pudding.  The more you stir the thicker it gets.  I have noticed that my first batch was super thick...it was very good but for my next batch I stopped stirring sooner and it was just right.  It's really an experiment with consistency.  I like it both ways!


step four:  Using a ladle, pour the majarete into dessert bowls or you could store it in a large dish.  It's a good idea to retain the cinnamon sticks as they will continue to add delicious flavor while it sits in the refrigerator.  I like to put my dessert bowls in a large rectangular dish, a few of the dishes have the bonus of a cinnamon stick and I cover this with saran wrap.  Oh, and you can also garnish with a few sprinkles of cinnamon!  

¡BUEN PROVECHO!

It's all in how you look at it

We woke at four a.m. to the sounds of a beeping alarm clock.  In order to leave the house around 6:20 a.m. we would have to start getting ready.  I was feeling uncertain about this unusual routine.  This meant leaving two hours earlier than usual.  I thought of my small children.  Surely this would be hard for them!  Waking up at such an hour!  

Why were we doing this you ask?  It's this thing called a "Sunrise Service".  I remember when I was first introduced to this practice.  I thought it was a crazy idea.  Especially for mothers of small children!  Each year after that, I struggled with it.  When it was announced that it was coming up, I would only think of all the reasons I did not want to experience it.  I think it mostly had something to do with my schedule and the fact that I don't want it messed with much.  

We mommies are very passionate about maintaining our schedules aren't we?

Each year I would think to myself, "Shouldn't I be exempt from this?"  I would secretly hope that my husband would tell me that it was ok if we didn't go.  I hoped that he would decide that it was an absolutely insane idea to get everyone up that early and go to church.  But he never did.  

Each year, I would try harder to make the best of it.  I would have to make an effort to adjust my heart's focus.  

I would tell myself things like "Don't worry, it'll be fine.  Focus on the message, not on how cold you are during the sunrise."

I would lament that it was such a struggle for me to have the right attitude about it.  Everyone else seemed to be enjoying it so much.

I have to admit, this year I still found myself struggling a little bit.  I just wasn't convinced that this was a good idea yet.  Of course, I did everything I could to make it work and not show my true feelings about it.  I resolved in my mind that this is what my church is doing and so we are going to be a part of it, with as much joy and enthusiasm as I could muster.

I think this year was a turning point for me.  

It began with the twenty minute drive out to church. 

Gazing out the front window of our van I was awestruck by the view.  

An old song played on the cassette player.  "We shall rise!  Hallelujah! We shall rise!  Amen!"

I felt gratitude that we had found a couple old cassettes recently and now we had music in our recently acquired van.

My heart swelled as we sang along.  Songs about meeting Jesus and being with him forever.  I looked out my window at the clouds gradually brightening with sunlight and dreamed of him coming again.

In that moment, I wished that I had been more positive about this experience. 

I resolved that in the future I want to make the most of every opportunity that comes for me to honor and praise my King.  Even if it's earlier in the morning than I'm used to.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

{Later that day}

This was dinner...

{My husband's amazing Paella}

These were snapshots of kiddos taken in between being chased around the back yard by mom and dad...

I can honestly say that from sunrise to sunset

this was a beautiful day!