Expectations for Mother's Day can be maddening (for both of us)

{my husband made some crazy faces the evening that we took pictures 

in the parking lot of California Dreaming.  Love him!  We had so much fun!}

On Mother's Day, our husbands (and our children too) are put to the test, are they not?.  It's as if they have to prove on this day how much they really love and appreciate us.  Some are really good at planning and come up with great ideas that are sure to impress.  Others don't seem to plan at all.  Maybe it overwhelms them, maybe they're not good with surprises and romance, maybe they've been so busy with life at full speed, maybe they don't have any ideas, maybe they don't have the money...for whatever reason it may be, I think that many of us women find ourselves in a pretty sad state if our expectations aren't met on a day that should be just as joyous as any other.

There is so much pressure put on our husbands for Mother's Day (and Valentine's Day for that matter) that  I really have to question if we have missed the mark.  It's almost as if we demand our goodies.  We want him to concoct unique, thoughtful, impressive plans.  We might even be willing to settle for chocolates and a card...a single rose maybe?  SOMETHING!  And we feel unloved if he doesn't deliver.  This is not a day to feel unloved and depressed when we don't get goodies.  This is a day to thank the Lord for moms.  Shouldn't that be our focus?  If you have one, thank him.  If you are one, praise him.  If neither is the case, God is still good and his love is infinite.

I hope that, as moms, we will continue to be more focused on giving than on getting...and yes, that should also be our attitude on Mother's Day!  That is the NOT the message that we tend to hear or believe.  The message in our minds goes something like this..."If he loves and appreciates me he'll either buy something for me or do something for me."  The bar is raised so high on this day.  Of course, we hear all of the news about what other men did for their wives.  One friend gets breakfast in bed and doesn't have to lift a finger all day.  Another friend gets a box of chocolates and a poem written from the heart.  And another friend's kids went all out and made her special hand-made gifts.  These are very sweet things and I am not saying they are wrong.  But what is wrong is our attitude when we don't get them.

Are we discontent?  Are we missing out on an opportunity to love our husbands (yes, it will feel sacrificial) when we don't get what we were expecting?  Are we falling into the trap of comparing ourselves with others?  I wonder how many tears were shed in homes across the world yesterday because of dashed expectations.  I wonder how many hurtful words were spoken because mother's didn't feel loved enough.

Please ladies, don't allow bitterness to eat away at you.  God has given you a husband to love, as is.  He is flawed ( I know this because all men are) and he is learning to love you, just like you are learning to love him. Don't allow the messages of what "you should be getting" on Mother's Day overshadow the message of God.  Focus on how you can honor and love God in the secret place of your heart on this post-Mother's Day and every Mother's Day that God allows you to experience after that.

God is good, he has given you a man to love, you are a servant of God in your home...none of that has changed.  Be thankful to the Lord for all that he has given you.

May I suggest pulling out a pen and paper and considering all the things you have to thank God for, especially concerning your husband, and write them down as they come to mind.  It's an amazing exercise and you will be so glad you did.

And so will he.

Please take these verses to heart...

...Let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.  1 Peter 3:4

The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.  She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.  Proverbs 31:11-12

...(If I) have not love, I am nothing...
Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful.  1 Cor. 13:2b, 5

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.  1 Thess. 5:18

And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.  Col. 3:17