The unexpected at 5am

   I have grown to love getting up at five o'clock each morning.  I brew a good cup of coffee and sit down at my dining room table to dig into God's Word.

   Since our home is usually bustling with the energy, excitement and sometimes corrective discipline of small children, I treasure the quiet hour or two I have in the early morning.  I treasure this time of no distractions, just me and God.

   But this morning, when I got up to turn off my alarm and I sat on the edge of the bed...the house was not quiet.  Instead, I heard the fussy cries of a two year old, on and off and in between the cries,  a little voice speaking as loud as it could at five am.  A little voice pleading with whoever might be listening (I guess that would be me!) saying "I get up!", "I get up!"

   My heart sank.  Manny?  Up at five am?!  Is this a bad dream?!

   I couldn't believe he was awake at this hour.  I knew he would not just go back to sleep.  What's worse, he would probably be just as grouchy as he was the day before when he woke up around six am.  And I thought that was too early!

   What transpired was a very selfish mommy walking into a needy little boy's room.  I was not happy to say the least.  I did not want my time with the Lord to be ruined.  I needed this time.  I did not want this hour of the day to be taken away from me!  

   My son was grouchy, he was crying...I wanted to cry too.  Loving, tender thoughts were far from me at the moment.  My mind raced with all the changes I may need to make.  Shorten his naps?  Set a later bedtime?  I lamented the fact that it had been so rainy the past couple of days and the kids had more pent up energy than usual.  Was this the reason he was awake so early?  My heart cried from within "Why is he awake?!"

   Feeling frustrated and by now just as grouchy as he was, I changed his diaper.  We grabbed his stuffed animals and his blankies and headed out to the living room, Javi was now awake as well and he followed behind.  My primary concern was putting on a movie to keep their attention for as long as possible.  I was determined to make this work.  Just one hour!  Please!

   Thankfully, I would have just the time I needed with God.  I didn't exactly get to dig into his Word, but it's truths dug into my heart and I realized how selfish I had been.  Honestly, I realized it from the time I sat on the edge of my bed and responded poorly in my heart to my child's cries.  Where was the love of Christ in me this morning?  I had a little time to pray and acknowledge where I had gone wrong.  First Corinthians 13 is often such a good reminder to me of what true love is like, it is the love of God, it is the love he calls me to have, to respond with and to demonstrate...

Love is patient and kind...

It does not insist on it's own way...

It is not irritable or resentful...

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things...

Love never ends.  

1 Corinthians 13

   Yes, even at five am, when my two year old wakes up way earlier than usual.  I have so much growing up to do.  Thank you Lord for the early morning reminder.