His plan for us is perfect

Once the children were settled in to their morning routine and finishing up with their morning schoolwork, my husband and I stepped out to drive our vans to a mechanic.  Our twelve passenger van would be kept for a couple of days, mostly to see what would need to be done to fix the A/C.  Just the thought of summertime in the South was enough to compel us to take it in!  Even in eighty degree weather with the windows opened, my children would step out rosy cheeked and sweaty.  

So anyway, we were driving along, Jav in front of me in the larger van.  I usually listen to music when I'm driving, but this time it was quiet.  I just wanted to think about things.  I thought about how amazingly good God is.  I think of it so often and I can't help but thank him for his provision every time I look at that van.  

My mind began to flood with memories of all the other times he had provided.  Times we were scared and unsure of what would happen.  I worried about things that seemed so monumental at the time, yet now I can look back and see how he has led us, taught us lessons we needed to learn and provided for our needs.

You've probably heard the saying "I don't know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future."  I love that saying.  It describes unshaken confidence in God when we face the unknown.

I've been thinking ahead lately.  So many possibilities, so much excitement about what God has already done and is doing now in our lives.  But mixed in with all the excitement are fears.  Oh, I know I shouldn't fear.  And it's a daily thing to turn my fears into trust.  But I'm getting ahead of myself.  

Presently, we are looking for a church that needs a pastor.  We have been preparing for this for the past 7 years.  It's been a long period full of growth in the Lord and intense study of God's Word.  I wouldn't trade it for the world!  Yet, I walk into this next stage of life as a woman who has so much to learn.  So much to apply.  Just as an expectant mother can never be fully "prepared" for everything that will come up when her baby is born, how can I expect to be so for this next stage in my life?  

When I think of a potential big change on the horizon, I think:

Where will we live?

Will life be harder there?

Will my backyard be ten times smaller?

Will my house be smaller?  It's already quite small.  Can I handle smaller?  But I need more space!  I can't downsize...

On and on the thoughts go, and I find that I am getting much too concerned (that's a nice word for worried) about details that are not the main thing.  The main thing is God, and his awesome work in people's lives.  All other things, though important, are secondary.  Honestly, he's taught me a lot as I've lived in this small house.  And I'm glad for that.  I've learned to trust him more.  I've learned to focus less on earthly treasures.  I've learned patience.  

My point is that what I think is better is not always better.  I don't want to make future choices based upon where the bigger house is.  God forbid!  I pray for the grace to keep God and his kingdom big in my heart, because then it won't matter so much how big everything else is.  And I'm sure I will worry far less.

After dropping off our van, we drove toward home together.  We chatted about our potential future, we shared our thoughts and our goals.  

I mentioned that I had been reading Psalm 33 that morning.  I reached for the Bible that happened to be in our van and I began to read it to my husband.  With each successive line my heart felt fuller.  I felt as if my heart would nearly burst.  The truth of it so very precious and meaningful to me.  

The more I read, the more my eyes filled with tears.  I felt my husband's hand on my shoulder.  The words on the page became blurry and I blinked away my tears in an effort to continue reading. 

What a relief it is to trust in the sovereign, holy God of all creation!  How can I worry or fear when he is the one I serve?  He will accomplish his purpose for my life and I trust that his plan is perfect.

{Please read this Psalm, it is wonderful!  I'm planning to memorize it soon.  I want it's truth to sink in deep.}

Psalm 33

Shout for joy in the LORD,

O you righteous!

Praise befits the upright.

Give thanks to the LORD with the lyre;

make melody to him with the harp of ten strings!

Sing to him a new song;

play skillfully on the strings, with loud shouts.

For the word of the LORD is upright,

and all his work is done in faithfulness.

He loves righteousness and justice;

the earth is full of the steadfast love of the LORD.

By the word of the LORD the heavens were made, 

and by the breath of his mouth all their host.

He gathers the waters of the sea as a heap;

he puts the deeps in storehouses.

Let all the earth fear the LORD;

let all the inhabitants of the world stand in awe of him!

For he spoke, and it came to be;

he commanded, and it stood firm.

The LORD brings the counsel of the nations to nothing;

he frustrates the plans of the peoples.

The counsel of the LORD stands forever,

the plans of his heart to all generations.

Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD,

the people whom he has chosen as his heritage!

The LORD looks down from heaven;

he sees all the children of man;

from where he sits enthroned he looks out 

on all the inhabitants of the earth,

he who fashions the hearts of them all

and observes all their deeds.

The king is not saved by his great army;

a warrior is not delivered by his great strength.

The war horse is a false hope for salvation,

and by its great might it cannot rescue.

Behold, the eye of the LORD is on those who fear him, 

on those who hope in his steadfast love, 

that he may deliver their soul from death 

and keep them alive in famine.

Our soul waits for the LORD;

he is our help and our shield.

For our heart is glad in him,

because we trust in his holy name.

Let your steadfast love, O LORD, be upon us;

even as we hope in you.