July 7, 2012

Learning to plan better and dealing with meltdowns


It was Thursday, the fourth day of our Backyard Bible Club.  We had one more day to go.  A few of us recalled how last year we concluded the week by inviting all the helpers to stay for ice cream and fellowship.  It's a wonderful opportunity for everyone to share about their experiences and what God taught them through the week.

Well...sometimes I wonder if caring for a baby uses up too many of my brain cells (ok, there could be other reasons ;) ...because I completely forgot to plan for this.  But it was such a blessing last year that we decided to be spontaneous...(that's a fancy way of saying "suddenly spring the idea on everyone") and send out an email at ten o'clock Thursday evening.  Everyone was asked to bring their favorite ice cream and hopefully it would all fit in our freezer!


For some reason, I kept thinking that things would run in a similar way to last year's club.  It seemed so simple in my mind.  Just put out the ice cream, everyone would serve themselves buffet style and then we would all sit down and talk.  I had this vision in my mind.  But for me, it was not to be.  I'll tell you why if you stay with me.  Here is what happened...

It was Friday evening, club helpers were taking all the children home and would soon be returning to join us for ice cream.  I prepared for their arrival as much as I could.  I moved dining room chairs to the living room for extra seating.   Several bowls and spoons were spread out on the table ready to be filled with ice cream.  The children, nine altogether (five were ours), played happily in the backyard.  Some of the adults were out there playing as well. 

Little did I know that in a few moments, the craziness would begin and I would sadly realize that maybe I hadn't planned very well for some things.

Like, oh let's say...what to do with the children!

Allow me to explain.  You see...my little living room was quickly filling up with all the club helpers (over 15 people) that we had invited over.  At the same time, some of the children who were contentedly playing outside were suddenly very concerned about missing out on the ice cream we were about to serve.  Don't worry they were not deprived.  They had actually already had some during the Club snack time.  Nevertheless, I would soon find out that most of them had gotten their hearts quite set on joining us.  And to think...I thought that they would just happily play out back and be oblivious to our little "ice cream social" in the house...NOT!  :)

I began to realize that the logistics this year were NOT the same as last year.  We had more helpers.  We had more children...including our six month old baby who needed someone to hold her and meet her needs.  Have I mentioned that it was getting a bit late?  And said children had been hot and sweaty all evening and were very much in need of baths and let me be blunt-BED!

It all started with the emotional trauma of being told that no, they were not going to have ice cream again because they already had some...and it's too much sugar right before bed...and just stay out here and play until we are finished...

Let's just say that didn't go over well.  The whole time this was unfolding I'm feeling the regret that we didn't have a better game plan.  I tried my best to quietly and quickly make this situation go smoothly.  All of the adults seemed to be happily chatting away in the living room and my husband was there and ready to lead them as they shared testimonies.  At that point, the children were being supervised by my oldest daughter and another helper while I got the ice cream ready to be served.  After unifying our thoughts on how to proceed the parents all agreed to serve the children a little ice cream...still outside mind you.  

I won't go into details over the drama with the ice cream ordeal but I was feeling stressed.  It wasn't long after the children were given ice cream bars that my two year old dropped some of his on the back porch step that he began to have a bit of a meltdown.  Literally.  My oldest daughter informed me of the situation.  She came inside to report it to me...and those were the exact words she used.  "Meltdown".  Oh dear.


In that moment, it became clear to me what I would have to do.  My son needed me.  Really he did.  In that moment, when everything else was happening in my living room, he needed me to help him.  I knew how I would be spending the next twenty minutes.  I would not be sitting and listening to testimonies of how God worked in and through our club helpers.  I would hear everyone laughing from the other end of the house and I'd wonder what was said.  I would hear the sounds of different voices but I couldn't make out their words.  I knew they were sharing and I knew that people were being blessed by it.  I also knew that I would later ask my husband to share it all with me.

What was I doing at the other end of the house?  I was giving my sweaty, sticky with ice cream, grumpy, tired boy with the tear stained cheeks a bath.  He needed it.  And he needed to be in bed.  Mommies just know these things.  And I confess it helped me keep my sanity and probably his too. ;)  

It doesn't always happen that way...me missing out on fellowship due to "mommy duty".  But sometimes it does.  I am learning to embrace it rather than resist it.  I really struggled with it in the past.  You know, being a total grump because my children are getting in the way of what I'm "supposed" to be doing.  Sometimes things will just be a little crazier than usual and I have to step up to the plate and help to make them less crazy.  Whatever it takes.  Sometimes that means missing out, sometimes that means dashed expectations--but God has a way of making it abundantly clear what we need to do and when we need to do it.


Later, as I sat with my husband and oldest daughter, Amera, we reflected on the evening's events.  We learned from it.  We felt regret that the children never did come inside and listen to all of the wonderful testimonies of how God worked.  It was like a "punch in the stomach" for me.  Honestly, even more than my missing it, I felt terrible that the children did.  I was so consumed with being stressed about my children and the time just flew away from me.  Part of me wonders why I didn't just bring all the children in the house and sit Manny on my lap...I think it just felt like too much to deal with at the time.  But, it is what it is.  I can't change it, I can only learn from it.  And this time, like me, they'll just have to hear it from someone who was there.


(By the way, these photos were not taken that night.  ;)  Manny and I had a little "photo session" the other day so that I could illustrate this post...just in case you were wondering.)

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