I know it's hard to believe, especially when you see a face like that, but some days (albeit few and far between) I struggle to delight in my children. There are days where it seems like all they are doing is bickering with each other. And all I am doing is resolving conflict. It's exhausting work.
Recently, we sat down to eat dinner and things just kept happening. It was like the children just kept doing things that they ought to know better than to do. I'm serious, it was like they could not do anything right that day. It was a marvel to me!
"Seriously?! Again?!"
They were little things, but I kept having to correct those little things and I was getting tired of it. The little things were adding up to something big and I had a headache...I just wanted peace. Ever feel like that?
I know I've said it before, but God has given me so many opportunities to grow through mothering my children. What I'm about to tell you is going to sound so simple that you might be tempted to just gloss over it and not give it any real attention. But here goes...
You can choose joy in spite of your circumstances.
Don't let that go over your head. If you know the Lord Jesus Christ, you can choose. I know what it's like when the offenses seem to pile up until it feels like you have a black cloud looming overhead.
You put a little extra force into shutting that cabinet door...you set the plates down on the table as hard as you can without breaking them...your lips are pursed and your children know that you do not want to be with them at all. When the baby cries (again!) you snatch her up and grip her tight (in a bad way) and she notices. She can sense your frustration. When the toddler misbehaves (again!) you grab his hand and march off to the room...and you are thinking "My children shall know the WRATH of mommy!"
We wouldn't want to admit it to anyone else...but this is the ugly side, the side that comes out when we are being selfish and impatient. The side we pray with all our heart to change. Well guess what?
It doesn't magically happen. It happens when we choose. I know it's hard. I know the feelings that well up inside you that you feel like you have no control over. It's a lie. You have God's holy spirit if you have placed your faith in Christ and the fruit of the spirit is self-control. (Galatians 5)
That evening I mentioned earlier, where the kids couldn't seem to do right, I remembered that I could choose how to respond to this. I could let it affect me...and cause me to be frustrated, grumpy, angry, hateful...or I could choose to love. To love my children. In spite of their multiple offenses. I taught them, I reminded them, I corrected them. But after that, I let it go. Love bears, believes, hopes, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13). Don't think that only applies to the your lost neighbors. Apply it in your home with your kids.
When I was finished eating, I stood up and took my plate to the kitchen. I stood in there and thought about how the evening could go one of two ways. I could let that black cloud loom and dwell on my frustration or I could choose to delight in my kids anyway. In other words, hold a grudge or let it go. I decided that with God's help, I could choose joy. I could smile and hug and send them off to bed without a doubt in their minds that mommy loves them no matter what.
How will you choose to respond the next time your kids are gettin' on your nerves?
Pray. Ask God for help. And choose joy.
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