I know we should be glad and we should happily welcome this new change, but it's not always so easy. Letting them do it takes longer. Letting them do it means it may not get done in the same way we would do it. We may even have to endure just letting them try for a while, and still, they may not be able to do it. And then we will end up doing it anyway. All of these being very good reasons why it is so hard to step back and let them try. We don't want to go through the trouble or rather, watch them go through the trouble. But we must let them try.
Manny will be three on September 2nd. He wants to do everything by himself now. He is very motivated! I am glad about that and I am encouraging him, but... we have our moments. First, while it is good to be independent, he needs to know when to ask for help. Knowing when to ask for help is a strength, not a weakness. We are not meant to do everything "all by ourselves". Manny is learning this and I know it is a lesson that he will need to take into his adulthood. Because even his mama is still learning to ask for help when she needs it.
The other day, I was all "business as usual" and I shampooed Manny's hair for him because that is what I have always done. Never mind that he is almost three and can probably do it himself now. Never mind that he has already shown me signs that he wants to do it. They were frustrating signs though. Like when I stepped away for a moment, and I think he decided that he wanted to be like big brother. So he tried to shampoo his hair. He ended up crying because he got soap in his eyes. And I come rushing in like "Oh my goodness! What are you doing?!" I think this happened on two separate occasions and just the other day it happened again. The funny thing was I had already shampooed his hair and he was doing it again. And it got in his eyes and he was crying.
So, I'm on my knees, hunched over the side of tub and rinsing his hair. "Manny...mommy already washed your hair..." I carefully rinsed off the soap and he was no longer crying. The whole time I was wondering why it took three times for me to get the clue that I should teach him how to do this on his own. Believe me, I love it when my children become more independent. But I guess that it's just hard to change a routine sometimes!
Well, it hit me in that moment. My heart was warmed and I was smiling as I rinsed his hair. And I said "Manny, I am so glad that you want to do this all by yourself. You are getting to be such a big boy now. Next time, I'll teach you how to do it." You should have seen his happy face! In my heart I felt such gladness that he has a desire to do things on his own. It's a good thing. It should be encouraged. It is even something to celebrate.
Oh this is so true! For our family, this is especially a reality since it takes 2 of our girls longer to learn...well...most things! Nichole will do things at her own time, and that's that, she is almost 5 and still.not.potty.trained. I wonder of this is really low muscle tone due to Down syndrome or if she is just being lazy! But a lot of things do take her longer and we just keep working on it, she does want to be independent! Nina is just slower than a turtle! But, she is beginning to do many things on her own. Now that she can get her own braces on, getting dressed probably takes her around 20 minutes (if not more) but she can do it! So we just plan on life being slower with or girls. And then there is Ellie of course, who is as independent as they come and helps me out, or spends a lot of time reading books, writing stories, or playing.
ReplyDeleteYou bring up an important point Ellen. Our kids show us when they are ready for things and if we try too hard to rush the process, we are the ones who end up the most frustrated. How desperately do we need the wisdom to know when to push and when to just be content, knowing that they are doing the best they can! May God give us grace to teach our children well and to be patient when they are not ready. Thank you for commenting Ellen!
DeleteWhat beautiful pictures. I really enjoyed reading this post. Though encouraging that independence can be time-consuming, tiring and downright messy, nothing beats the pride on a child's face when they something all by themselves.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right Anchel! Thank you for your encouraging words. :)
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