Something I fear {Writing Prompt}

Yesterday evening I sat in the church pew.  I knew that someone was to be baptized, but I did not know who it was.  When he was called forward to share his testimony I saw that this was someone that I had not met before.  This man, about my husband's age by the way, stood behind the podium and after he spoke his first sentence, I just knew where it would lead.  It was something about the way he said "I was privileged to grow up in a Christian home..."  I could just hear the "but" coming.

I was on the edge of my seat as he spoke.  I waited to hear what had happened from the time he grew up in that home until now.  He spoke of the life he lived apart from Christ.  He said it was like the world had swallowed him up whole and it had come to a point where he could hardly look at himself in the mirror.  And here he was, twenty years later and having called on the name of the Lord just over twenty days ago...here he was about to be baptized.

What a beautiful redemption story!  We are so glad that he has come back into the fold.  But as a mom of seven sitting there in that pew, I felt joy mixed with fear as I looked over at my children sitting there with me.  I thought of this man's mother during those twenty years.  The pain of watching a child go their own way.  Living with the heart wrenching reality that they are making foolish choices that grieve God and hurt them and their relationships with others.  I imagined it would be nearly unbearable.

He encouraged us to never give up on our loved ones who have turned from Christ and to keep praying for them.  I felt a mix of courage and fear.  I know that God can work in amazing ways...but oh! what we have to endure while he is doing his work!

And I know I just need to take things one day at a time and do this mothering thing as best I can and let God do the rest.  But there are things that I fear.  I look at my children now and I think "God forbid they ever think that their way is better than His."  And then I begin to wonder if I am teaching them "diligently" (Deut. 6) ...and the answer I come up with is no.  I know I could be more diligent.

I also fear that they will get bored with it all, like the young person who seems uncomfortable in church and seems to be enduring the singing and the preaching...just waiting for it to be over.

As a mom, I wish that I could infuse my children with a passion for God.  I want them to see that it's not boring or second best, but that living the christian life is the best thing ever.  And I hope and pray that they catch that vision.  I pray they will love God with all of their heart.  I worry, yes I said worry, that my children will think that what this world has to offer, with all of it's guilty pleasures, is the better way to go.  I fear for them.  Yet when I look to God, that fear turns to hope because I know that he is able to do amazing things in and through them.  I recognize that I cannot control how things turn out.  But what I can do is be faithful to him and faithful to teach my children about how awesome he is...whether they get "bored" or not.



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