and now I see

For so many years I lived my life thinking that I could see.  I analyzed, philosophized, and tried to understand the world around me.  I tried to make sense of it all.  I attempted to answer all of my own questions.  I pulled my answers from my experience, my own logic, my own mind.  I thought my mind was bigger than the universe.  I thought that I could figure it all out and have the answers to everything.  I sought books with so-called wisdom.  Books written by others who also thought their minds were very big.  Books written by others who thought that they had life and all the reasons why all figured out.  Different ideas from different people.  I could pick and choose which ones I liked best.  I could pick and choose which ideas suited me.  I thought I was wise.  I thought I was on the path to understanding.  I thought that I could see.

It took truly seeing to show me that I was wrong.  It took pure and holy truth to show me my errors.  It took love and grace which somehow works in the heart of a rebel to show me true wisdom.

Now I often say, "I can't believe I used to think that way."

I see how small I really am and how great and awesome God is.

And this is what humbled me, I saw him with the eyes of faith...

He who is pure as purest light, 

He who is perfect in wisdom, holiness and truth.

And I, one little person, with one little life...

I with a mind and heart that he gave me to worship him.

I, who, though I am small and fairly insignificant in this great big world,

have been rescued from certain death.

I have been loved and tenderly brought into his family, into his arms...

because he saw me in such desperate need of his grace.