The difficulty of not getting what you expected

Without a doubt, we are relational beings.  We need relationship, though sometimes we live in denial of this.  Especially when we feel hurt by someone else.  Our reaction to being hurt can often be to develop a rough exterior.  "Who needs them anyway?"  "How could she do that to me?"  "Why do I even care?"  Have you ever   thought or said these things?  I have lived much of my life with an "I can easily do without you" attitude.  I know what it's like to have the mentality of not wanting to show that I really do care, because I don't want to feel like I am weak or able to be hurt by someone else.

The Lord is bringing some issues in my heart to the surface lately.  I think they are natural responses that I have long carried with me, and I say "carried" purposefully.  Because they are indeed a burden.  As I carefully evaluate it, I can see that my natural response has often brought me down and made me miserable.  You may be wondering what on earth I am talking about...allow me to try and explain it.

Think about a time when you set out to do something special for someone else.  I mean you really wanted to bless them!  Think about the emotions that you felt when you were preparing to do this thing...do you imagine how the person will respond?  You think "Oh!  She's going to love this!"  or maybe you're not certain she'll like it, but you imagine that this gesture will form a tighter bond in your relationship.

What about the simplest of gestures... like just saying hello in passing?.  Some people don't even respond to that!  How should we respond when people don't do what we wish they would?  What should our motivation be for reaching out to them anyway?  These are the hard questions I have been struggling with in my own life.

When I don't get noticed, when I don't feel loved and appreciated my natural response is to point the finger at the other person and how wrong they are.  I am beginning to realize that I am not walking in the Spirit when I feel angry, jealous or resentful.  I should respond with compassion, I should hope for the best and not think evil of them.  If they have intentionally done wrong, I should be willing to forgive.  I should not judge their motives, in other words, assume that they are careless and think nothing of me.  Even if they do think nothing of me I should be more concerned about their relationship with Christ than how that makes me feel. 


Are we praying for the people that we feel hurt or slighted by?  Do we have love and compassion even for those that failed to notice us or failed to love us?  God wants so much to help us as we depend on him for grace to be compassionate and forgiving.  As we choose to think his way about things, we can avoid that sinking down feeling that threatens to overcome us.  We can actually be joyful in the Lord in spite of our circumstances.  I want more of that, don't you?