Sharing from my mama heart // On having children

During the school year, my daughter Amera helps a friend of ours minister at an elementary school with something called "Good News Club".  She does this every Thursday and two of her sisters go along with her to participate.  It's kind of funny, but for a long while many of the children there did not realize that she is a teenager who still lives at home with her family.  They were surprised to discover some other things as well.

Our Backyard Bible Club mostly consisted of "Good News Club" kids.  And since it was at "Miss Amera's" house, they had the opportunity to observe a few things about us.

One night during that week, a small group of children gathered around me by my back porch.  One girl started a conversation with me by asking me a question.  Hence, our little "interview" began.

The girl: Are you Amera's mom?
Me: Yes.
The girl: Who is your husband?
(Earlier they had been surprised when my husband spoke to them in Spanish)
Me: The one over there (I pointed) who spoke to you in Spanish.
(For some reason they seemed surprised again)
The group: Really?!
Me: (smiling) Yeah.
The girl: How many kids do you have?
Me: Seven
The girl: (gasp!)  How do you fit in this house?!
Me: Oh, we're squeezed in pretty tight, but we make it work.
The girl: Do you want to have more?
Me: Sure, if God wants to give them. (smiling)
The girl: (grinning, like she already knows the answer) And you would like it?
Me: Yeah, I would.

Her last question made me smile.  "And you would like it?"  As if to say "You mean you wouldn't consider it cruel and unnecessary punishment?"

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Since there would be no writing prompt this week (the blog host is on vacation) I decided to ask my husband to give me a word and I would write about it.  Right away he said "Freedom".  I thought about that word all day yesterday.  What does it mean to be free as a Christian, or as a citizen of the United States.  I researched some things and I looked up verses in my Bible.


This morning, as I thought on it more, I decided I wanted to share about a unique aspect of freedom that is deeply meaningful to me.  It is the freedom I have to trust God with the size of my family.  It's a freedom from worry, from fear and from trying to control my life. 


Oh, don't get me wrong.  It's not that I never, ever struggle to trust or that I am completely fearless about it all, but for the most part, I am trusting God with my life and it is so freeing to do that.


I realize this topic of family size can be a complicated issue and there are so many unique situations that people face.  Each person is accountable to God for their decisions and my husband and I are pretty confident that if my life were in danger we would have some serious talking to do. 


But that is not the case for us now and we want to allow the word of God to determine how we think about this.  We want to shed the pervasive influence of the culture around us (which constantly changes) and think biblically (which never changes).  We have also spoken to people who just wish they could go back and do things differently.  We are keenly aware of the fact that decisions can be made based on current feelings or concerns.  And so we take these things to heart...and we think "Wow!" this decision is one that matters for eternity.  We don't want to take it lightly.  

Whenever we have thought "Are we crazy?"  "Can we really handle another one?"  We ask ourselves some other questions too.  Like, "Why would we stop?"  Is it because of fear of what might be?  Will God give us grace and help like he promises?  Will he still provide?  If we are looking to his word for answers, we find it sufficient to help our thinking along.

My heart was stirred last night as I sat at my dining room table with my husband and children all around me.  My attention was focused on baby Isabel.  And would you like to know the thought that came to my mind as it so often does?

I am so blessed.  

Sometimes I feel surprised too.  Surprised at my own family and who we have become.  That I do like this.  No, I love this.  I am not being proud.  I am not saying I am better than anyone else because I have seven children. I know that God blesses us in different ways.  Sometimes with only one child, sometimes with none.   I am just saying that I love this.  This life God has given me.  This story that he is authoring...I am learning to be yielded to the plot he has written.  I am surprised that it is better than I could have ever imagined sixteen, ten, or even five years ago.  It is absolutely amazing to be a mother to seven.

I am so glad that instead of fear, we let trust and dependence on God influence our choices.

May it ever be so.