"Six kids!"

   "Six kids!  Are you serious?!" 
   "You must be a busy lady!  How do you manage six kids?!"

   Eyes grow wide as saucers, mouths drop open in amazement and shock, and heads shake in disbelief, when we tell them we have six kids.  I know that to some people six kids is really not that many because they have ten or more.  Honestly, I wonder how they do it.  It's kind of funny.  We question how someone could do something that is completely foreign to us.  We imagine ourselves in that situation and we think "No way!  I couldn't do that!"  I know that to many people the thought of having six children brings visions of the mother pulling out her hair and hating life, just wishing she could trade this life in for a new one.  This seems to have become the rule rather than the exception in the thinking of many.  I love being a mother to my kids and my life with them is so rich and sweet, I wouldn't trade it for the world.
   Of course, some days are frustrating...but that can be with or without kids.  My kids have helped me to grow and mature in more ways than I can count.  I have learned so much through being their mother, but the truth is...I will never be an expert.  I will make mistakes and I sometimes doubt myself as a mother...surely I will always depend on the grace and strength of my God until the end of my days.
   

   I've spoken with many women, especially while sitting in the doctor's office for my check ups, who dread the thought of more children.  The last time I was there, I sat next to a woman who was pregnant with her first child, actually she's going to have twins.  She said that this is it for her, she does not want any more.  I wonder what is convincing her of this?  I want to somehow tell her that they really are a blessing from the Lord...not perfect...not without problems...not without inconveniences...but still a blessing.  A wonderful, amazing, blessing.  And I wonder...how can I express this?  It often seems like too many words to say, especially to someone that you just met in the doctor's office...and I honestly think that my words may not be believed.  It's sad.  I see moms all the time who seem to hate being with their kids.  I think the main reason is that the kids don't listen to them or obey them and sadly many moms are not training their children to obey their word.  No, it does not come automatically, it requires time, effort and consistency. But how sad is it to see a mother give in to the desires of a child screaming and crying to get their way.  They are always learning and we are always "training" whether we realize it or not.  Children are such a joy and a delight to be around,  but when there is no discipline, everyone suffers the consequences.

Discipline your son, and he will

give you rest; he will give 

delight to your heart.  Prov. 29: 17

The rod and reproof give wisdom, 

but a child left to himself brings 

shame to his mother.  Prov. 29:15

The eye that mocks a father

and scorns to obey a mother

will be picked out by the ravens

of the valley and eaten by the vultures.

Prov. 30:17

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   A family grows gradually, except in those rare cases of sextuplets!  We grow and we adjust to a new little person in our home and we grow some more.  It's not like I had six kids to raise all of a sudden.  God gave them to me one at a time (No twins yet!)  It is such a joy to get to know their unique personalities, each and every one contributing to family life.  People often comment that I must be so busy with six kids.  Well...yes...and no.  I have so many helpers.  Everyone has jobs to do around the house.  There are jobs that I have not had to do in years.  Although from time to time I step in to help things get done faster.  My children clean the kitchen and the bathroom, they sweep and mop the floor, dust and windex, vacuum, do laundry, clean up after our dog and birds and more.  Oh, I still have plenty to do, but I have so much help.  And those times that I step in to help when they're not expecting it are such a blessing.  We've had some great talks as I stand at the sink and wash the dishes while one of my older daughters dries them and puts them away.  Working together is so rewarding.

  There are days when I feel so overwhelmed, it seems I'll never get it all done, then it's time to evaluate what we're doing and not doing and try to make things better.  Whenever I feel like this I like to sit down with a notebook and pen and just jot down all of my concerns.  This helps me to organize my thoughts and I pray over my concerns and ask God to help me with a plan of "attack" to get things accomplished.  I've had mornings when I just don't know where to begin and I'm slumped over the edge of my bed in tears because it seems like so much!  This is a pretty good indication that there is something that needs to change.  God reminds me, one step at a time.  And of course, prioritize and do what is most important first.  

   We don't necessarily have more trials or more things to do...or more grief than someone who may have two children.  It depends on what day it is.  Sometimes we have gone several days without any major issue or upsetting trial, and life just seems to flow and be all a joy.  Then there are days where I have to really make an effort to be joyful among children who cannot seem to stop bickering over petty things.  It's life!  They are learning to be less sinful and so am I.  Some days, I'm exhausted with all the correction and guidance I have had to give and I just can't wait until it's bedtime so that I can rest!  But those days are fewer than the days when I just revel in the joy and privilege of being their mother.  When we snuggle and hug.  When we pray, each one taking their turn, learning to talk to an amazing God.  When we belly laugh at the antics of a 21 month old little cutie.  Every age and every stage is so wonderful and I enjoy each one so very much.  I just look at them and marvel.  I thank God for these gifts.

   And yes, there is training, and the more you do it, the more you learn...and the earlier you begin to teach as each new baby comes along...and you see where you didn't do so well before and what you need to do differently this time.  And amazingly enough God's grace covers it all and you try and try again.  Sometimes it's discouraging.  You wonder if you'll ever get it right.  But you look back and you see how much God has taught you and you understand that he is teaching you even now and it's ok you won't be perfect, and you can actually be an example to them of what it's like to go to someone and seek their forgiveness when you fail to honor God.   Don't they need to see a parent who is utterly dependent on God's help and strength to do anything worthy of Him?  And don't they need to see that they are so much like us. Imperfect beings who need His grace?

   So often we want to be the ones deciding what is best for our lives.  I believe this can lead to missing out on God's best for us. This permeates into every aspect of our lives.  Even as I think about future ministry and all of its facets, like where we will live, what the weather will be like there, the cost of living and so on, I honestly do not know what will be "best" for us.  If it's difficult, that may be exactly what I need to mature in my faith.  If I live somewhere where my allergies aren't so bad, I'll thank the Lord that I don't have to deal with that.  But do I really know what is best even when it comes to these things?  God sees the big picture.  My understanding is so limited...

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, 

and do not lean on your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge him, 

and he will make straight your paths.

Prov. 3:5-6

   Years ago when I was young (ok, young-er!) and had my first child, I thought I knew what was best.  I could not even fathom actually wanting to have more than two (maybe two) and I certainly never thought I would be a mother to six (almost seven children)!  It's not really the number that matters though.  Our aim is not to be as big as we can be.  The point is that God gives children and we decided that we wanted to receive what ever God desires to give us.  Whether it would be the one we already had or more.  Turns out...I think God had a better plan than the one we had at the start.

   

Unless the LORD builds the house, 

those who build it labor in vain...

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,

the fruit of the womb a reward.

Psalm 127: 1,3

[re-posted from the archives of my former blog // dated 6.14.2011]