Love never ends

Our fathers...all of them different.  Each one having his unique strengths and weaknesses.  Sometimes exemplary, giving us cause for praise.  Sometimes lacking in areas where we long for more fullness.  Sadly, we can become bitter toward them.  We think "If only he would _______."  Or, "If only he was more ______."  We blame our dysfunctions on our fathers.  We reason that if they had done a better job raising us, then we would be better.  I won't deny that what fathers do (and don't do) and the choices that they make definitely affect future generations.  But each of us is accountable to God for our own personal choices in life. The way we choose to think, to respond, to live our lives...we are responsible for it.  We cannot point the finger and blame our fathers.

When it comes to our fathers, are we as willing to forgive them for their shortcomings as we are willing to receive the forgiveness of a holy God for our own?

   Are we gracious and merciful, willing to overlook offenses and love them as Christ has loved us?

Do we see our own mistakes?  That we sin too?  We may vow never to make the same ones they made, but are we willing to admit we have our own set of mistakes?

   One of the biggest mistakes we can make is to be bitter, and despise our parents.

The word of the LORD came to me:

"What do you mean by repeating this

proverb concerning the land of Israel,

'The fathers have eaten sour grapes, and

the children's teeth are set on edge'?

As I live, declares the Lord GOD,

this proverb shall no more be used by

you in Israel.  Behold, all souls are mine;

the soul of the father as well as the soul

of the son is mine: the soul who sins shall die.

                            Ezekiel 18:1-4

"...Yet the house of Israel says, 'The way of the

Lord is not just.'  O house of Israel, are my ways

not just?  Is it not your ways that are not just?

Therefore I will judge you, O house of Israel, every

one according to his ways, declares the Lord GOD.

Repent and turn from all your transgressions, lest

iniquity be your ruin."  Ezekiel 18:29-32

Many years ago, I was newly married to Javier, and we had our first baby.  My father called on a holiday, I can't remember which one, but I do remember how bitter I was.  I wasn't getting what I wanted or thought I deserved out of this father-daughter relationship and I thought "Why carry on?  What's the point?"  And so...I ended it.  I told him to never call me again.  Even my husband was in shock that I would do such a thing.  I was so bitter.

It wasn't until about three years later that God opened my eyes to see my sin.  Ever since the day that I had hung up on my father, I had never looked back.  I had no regrets...until now.  God was helping me to see that I was wrong.  I had wanted to erase my father from my life because he didn't meet my standards of what I though he should be.  And since I was hurting...I wanted to hurt him too.

The love and forgiveness of God has completely transformed my heart and life.  How could I, being loved so deeply and completely, not love?  Not show mercy?  How could I, being forgiven of so much wrong, not forgive?

With trembling hands and a deep breath, I dialed his phone number.  I told him that I was wrong for what I did...I asked him to forgive me.  He forgave so willingly and I thanked God for doing what only he can do.  He heals the brokenhearted.  He restores.  He makes new.  He gives hope.

Now I look forward, not back.  I try to understand, to know, to love.  God has taught me that love doesn't give up when things get tough.  I pray it's a lesson I never forget.

Love does not insist on its own way;

it is not irritable or resentful...

Love bears all things,

believes all things,

hopes all things,

endures all things.

Love never ends.

1 Corinthians 13:5,7,8

[re-posted from the archives of my former blog // dated 6.18.2011]