I admit, I seem to have a difficult time with establishing some traditions. At least, those traditions that seem so special and ideal to me. I want my kids to look back and say that what mom and dad did with them year after year...well, it was wonderful! Or, I want the repetitiveness of an activity to become so familiar to them that it will really stand out in their minds and they will never forget it and it will be meaningful to them.
So why am I having a difficult time with all of this? First, I don't always enjoy repetition and sometimes I get bored of doing the same thing, in the same way. It can feel a bit oppressive to me. I am thinking specifically now of the Christmas season...we rarely do the same thing twice.
For some reason, I have ideals in my mind. For example, I want there to be something special that I always bake every year so that it will be more memorable. You know, "Mom always baked _____ for Christmas." But I have a hard time deciding what one thing would be the best choice. I like many things...and honestly this year I haven't been doing much baking at all. That is my life right now.
Last year, we wanted to establish some traditions with our Christmas tree and what we did was fine, but this year using our ornaments as symbolic teaching tools just didn't get us excited. We didn't do it. We did try to teach them as they decorated the tree...and just casually talk about the gospel, but I realized that I am trying too hard to mix one activity with another. It's okay to just decorate a tree. It's fun! And the gospel is beautiful and precious but the kids just want to talk and be goofy and oooh and aaaah over ornaments. Why am I so concerned about forcing everything to be more spiritual at this time of year? We can talk about the gospel any time and as often as possible!
I do want God to be loved and honored in the things that we do...but that is my focus all year round. Why was I getting so concerned about Christmas? Yes, it's special, but Christ's birth is special to me EVERY DAY. If Christmas day were suddenly done away with I would not forget his miraculous birth. His birth is the reason for everything, not just the season. So anyway, these are just some of things I've been thinking about.
This year my children are doing a gift exchange with each other. We wrote their names on stickies, stuck them to a door and each child picked a name (except Isabel, Mommy would get her gift). Taking them shopping has had it's fun moments and it's difficult moments. It's interesting how we avoid gift giving because we don't want our children to be greedy for stuff, but this is an issue that we are going to have to deal with at one time or another. I have seen the sin that shows up when I take a child shopping and they're supposed to be thinking of the person they are shopping for but all they can seem to do is think of themselves. This was my experience about a week ago when I took my first round of kids to go shopping. One of my children was seeing many things they really wanted and they responded inappropriately to that. It was written all over my child's face. The pout, the furrowed brow, as the hard reality sunk in..."Remember, we are looking for a gift for your sister today, not for you...."
I hated to see it. It was ugly...the selfishness! Sin showed up in Toys R Us. And we talked about it right there in the aisle. I rebuked, I warned, I pointed out the right way...and part of me wondered at all this shopping for gifts...but the more I think about it, I am glad that sin came to the surface so that we could deal with it. My children are going to struggle with having the right focus about things...I will too. But this is a year long struggle. What we instill in them is not just at this time of year, it's every day of their lives.
And little Manny? I took him shopping with his two oldest sisters. He makes us laugh with the cute little things he says. Toward the end of our shopping trip, he sat in the back of the cart. When he saw a toy that interested him, I would hand it to him so that he could check it out while we looked at other things. Sometimes, after playing with a toy for a few minutes, it can be a little hard to let go. So I taught him to say "Bye" to it. He was playing with this cute little green dragon stuffed animal (sorry that was a mouthful), and it just about melted my heart when he said something like "He's going to stay on my bed" and he was getting all dreamy and cuddly with it. I confess, I wanted to get it for him right then and there but we had already done our shopping for him...so anyway, his little voice was so sweet as he wistfully said "Bye dragon..."
Hold these things loosely son, learn it early.
So as far as traditions go, we are in this process of learning what we like to do and what we don't like to do. And most of all I am learning that our traditions are going to have to reflect who we are, not who (for one reason or another) we think we ought to be. In all my effort to establish new traditions, I have to be careful that I don't lose sight of the things that we as a family really do enjoy. I choose not to do things that are overly stressful to me. I choose to keep my focus on God and his goodness to me. That is what I have been trying to do all along whether it's Christmas or not.
No comments:
Post a Comment