At the end of the day {writing prompt}

Sometimes I wonder how many opportunities I miss.  When I am tired, when I want to be alone, when I just want quiet...

I spend the day with frequent interruptions into "my time"(Please notice the quote marks).  I may be in the bedroom, the bathroom, when I'm on the phone, when I'm on the computer, even when I'm not at home.  So often there are people in need.  Most of the time they are small children who have questions, or they have problems and need my help.  And this is what mommies do.  Yes, I know this is in my "job description".  But I am not always in the mood to fulfill the role.

Sometimes I am a bit irritable.  Sometimes internally stewing and thinking "What do they need now?"  Sometimes my frustration shows with an exasperated "What is it?"  And it's in those moments that I know I am not reflecting the love of God.

It think it is some sort of phenomenon that whenever I get even the slightest bit involved in an activity that requires concentrated thought, one of my children come to me and start asking questions.  Just when I think I have a perfect little opportunity to do something, because everyone else is occupied with other things, I seem to attract attention when I get involved in something.  It almost never fails.  And while I can teach my children to be considerate and mindful of others...I too need a dose of that love.

Sometimes, as a mom, a wife, and a servant of God I have to drop what I am doing.  I have to let go of my plans.  Even if they are things I need, like rest.

It amazes me when I read about Jesus and his disciples in Mark.  In the past couple of weeks, I have been thinking about the account in Mark 6:30-44 when the apostles had returned to Jesus and told him all that they had done and taught as they had labored for God.  And Jesus said, "Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while."  And we read that they were so busy that they hadn't even eaten yet!  So they were going away on a little boat ride to that desolate place...maybe thinking "Ahhhh sweet refreshment awaits!"  Time to just be alone and relax and reflect and regain energy.  Jesus knew they needed that and he knows we need it too.  But sometimes we don't get it in the way we plan to.

Many people saw them going away on the boat and ran ahead of them on foot.  Can you imagine reaching shore and finding thousands of people there waiting for you?  You know, it reminds me of opening a door and seeing a child standing there with a problem just for me to solve and I'm thinking "Really?, do we have to deal with this now?"  But the needs that faced them that day were many and they were great.

You know something wonderful though?  It is in this very context that Jesus teaches them a huge lesson about ministering to others and he miraculously feeds over five thousand people with five loaves of bread and two fish.  It seems that just as they may have thought they had reached their limit, God had plans to do something amazing.  The apostles saw a bunch of people who needed to eat, but Jesus had compassion because they were like sheep without a shepherd.  He actually took the opportunity to teach them and he did not send them away as the apostles had suggested.

What an example for me to not get exasperated, impatient or irritable but to trust that God knows my need and he will meet it when he sees fit.  Sometimes I will have to exhaust myself in serving.  I shouldn't gripe about it.  Instead, I should recognize that God desires to work through me to minister to the needs he places before me.  And by his grace and strength I can do what he requires.

Lord, deepen my love for others.  Give me more compassion as Jesus had.  Help me to remember that you know more than anyone how much I need time alone and to trust that you will give it in your time.  Help me to labor for you with all that I am.


Linking up for the writing prompt here: http://www.ellenstumbo.com/at-the-end-of-the-day/