And then I remind myself

Because God is my sovereign Lord, I was not worried. He manages perfectly, day and night, year in and year out, the movements of the stars, the wheeling of the planets, the staggering coordination of events that goes on at the molecular level in order to hold things together. There is no doubt that he can manage the timing of my days and weeks. 
                                                                                                    ~Elisabeth Elliot

Sometimes you just have to stop dead in your tracks and realize that worry is going to take you to a place where you don't want to go.  The sad part is that we think we have more control over a situation if we worry over it but we are forgetting that God is the only one who has complete control.

In my life right now there are so many changes coming up and I don't know exactly how God is going to work out every single detail.  I want to know but I don't.  I want to know that our house will sell soon and that our van will make it across the country without issue, but these are things that only God knows.  Only God and no one else.  And he will accomplish it all when he sees fit and not a moment sooner.  If it is in his plan that we wait, for reasons only known to him, I will have to remember that his plan is perfect.

And there is comfort in that, really there is!  Because he is leading me and directing my paths as I turn to him in trust.  It doesn't always come easily though.  There are those moments when I suddenly feel bombarded by thoughts that are faithless and doubtful.  Have you ever experienced that?

I was in my kitchen yesterday, chopping rosemary and kneading dough for our bread when I began to think of things that need to be accomplished.  I am constantly going through mental checklists.  I have written ones too, but when I am busy and don't have a sticky note handy, I do mental checklists.  It seems that no matter how much you do, there is always more to do.  Sometimes I feel like things are running along smoothly with life, other times I feel the temptation to worry because I don't know exactly how things are going to work out.  I don't know how God is going to solve this problem or that problem.  And when it's really tough, sometimes the questions pop up.  Is he really listening?  Will he help me with this?  And before long, I find myself worrying more and trusting less and less.

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.  Hebrews 11:1

It is then, that I have to remind myself of who God is.  That he is fully capable of accomplishing his sovereign will in my life.  And it is perfect and it is his plan, no matter how exactly it turns out.

Trusting really is a moment by moment thing.  We can seem to be doing so well at it one day but then really struggle the next.  We are tempted to doubt God's love and to doubt his goodness when things don't happen when we think they ought to.  It sounds so bad and sometimes we don't want to even admit it but if we take an honest look we might realize that we think it far too often.

Yesterday, I had to remind my soul to be still.  That nothing, no matter what crazy thing may happen, can separate me from God's love.  Nothing at all.  If my house doesn't sell, he loves me.  If my van doesn't make it, he loves me!  He has already shown me the greatest love possible by sending his Son to die for my sin.  How can I ever doubt him when things don't happen as I want them to?

The only way to resist the temptation to worry and doubt is to simply trust in the One who gave me life.  He "knit me together in my mother's womb", he sustains me and I am forever his.

I just needed to be reminded.

Thank you Lord, I love you.