Choosing trust over doubt

Sometimes even the smallest of children can seem to be so trusting of the parents that care for them but I have found that is not always the case.  Honestly, sometimes they can get pretty upset when they begin to doubt that we understand what they need.  Add to that learning to speak the same language and you have some pretty intense moments at times.  

Isabel knows how to ask for the everyday essentials.  She also repeats herself over and over again for emphasis.  "Cuppy, cuppy, cuppy" almost always gets her a refreshing cup of milk, juice or water.  "Pacy" and "blankee" are usually always close by and happily given when she asks for them.  "Help me, help me, help me" alerts us that she needs assistance with something.  She knows that we love her and that we are usually attentive to her needs.  But sometimes she doubts.  She begins to doubt when we do not hear her right away, or maybe we are not able to meet her request at that very moment.  And sometimes, she panics.  She begins to cry and ask louder.  And sometimes, depending upon the situation and what she needs, we will rush to get it for her.  Other times, we discern that she has a lesson to learn and needs some discipline.

I have felt compassion for her when she is sitting in her car seat and I just don't have that cupful of refreshment she's longing for.  It is then that she is learning to wait and be patient.  I assure her of my love and also assure that as soon as we get to where we are going, she will have what she needs.  Sometimes this helps and sometimes she just wails even louder.

Have you ever noticed that when you are right in the thick of facing the daunting details of a mostly unknown future that it is the hardest to trust, to be assured of God's love and, for goodness sake, not to panic?  How many times in the past have I sat in quiet solitude, reflecting on the goodness and greatness of God and putting those thoughts into words on this blog, and yet...I feel afraid of all those little details that I can't control?

This living in a new state, a very expensive state to live in I might add (except for the avocados!)...this waiting for a house to sell and looking for a house to buy...this finding new doctors and expecting a new baby...doctor bills, property taxes, shoes getting too small for growing feet, and then add to that all the things I know I'll need, the things that I just might need and what else haven't I thought of?!  It can get overwhelming and leaves me with a choice to make.

The natural tendency for many of us is to sit and stew with worry.  To be paralyzed with fear.  To fear that maybe it just won't work out like we thought it would before we were in the thick of it.  

And sadly, we begin to doubt God.  It can happen to all of us.  Even those very strong in faith can have their moments of weakness.  We, like small children, often have our moments when we panic about the circumstances and the longer we have to wait, the louder we wail.  It may only be going on inside of us but our spirit is not at peace and it is not at rest in God.  

This rest doesn't come from knowing exactly how things are going to turn out, it comes from a quiet trust in the God who made us, loves us, and redeemed us from the darkest of pits.  I have often found so much comfort in simply thinking about my God and reading his Word, in which he tells me about himself.  I see his righteous and holy character.  I see his power and his might.  I see his love and compassion.  His perfect plan which cannot be thwarted or hindered being carried out through the ages.  

God is not like us parents.  He is never dull of hearing or not paying attention.  He is never unable to meet our needs and even some of our wants.  He is fully capable of accomplishing all his holy will in our lives.  If he is withholding from us, it may be because we need some discipline, it may be that we need to grow and mature.  We may need to learn what he knows is necessary for us to learn.  It's easy to get irritated with that at times, almost as if to say "Enough already!  Can we be done with the lessons and can I just get what I want?!" 

Let me tell you, I've been there.  I could liken my internal response to that of a toddler throwing a little tantrum.  So focused on what I want and not on what is best for me.  You know who knows what is best?  God does.  Will you join me in choosing to trust him?

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by 

the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope."  

Romans 15:13