What is hospitality anyway?

"The model for entertaining is found in the slick pages of women's magazines with their 

appealing pictures of foods and rooms.  The model for hospitality is found in the Word of God."

~Karen Mains

I've had my share of struggles with feeling like my home was less than.  At times, I have had my share of excuses for not having people into our home.  When my husband was a college student and we were a growing family on a tight budget, we didn't have the means to fix a bathroom with peeling paint and I won't mention what else needed to be done to that poor bathroom...

I have had the glasses that used to be jars of jelly or pasta sauce and later they graced our table.  I have endured the carpet that was never (ever!) quite what I wanted it to be and replacing that was not an option for us either.  

I realize now, how sad it is that I let things like that get in the way of reaching out to others in my church, neighborhood and community.  Of course, I had other good excuses.  Like how busy we were, and how desperate we were for family time with my husband's crazy full time student/full time employee schedule.  There was a time were I could somewhat comfortably avoid the issue.  But God was working in my heart all along.  

We began to have people over here and there.  When we had a very small dining table and couldn't seat all of our company, I sat with a couple of ladies on our living room floor with our plates on the small table in front of us.  I enjoyed their company.  It wasn't exactly fine dining but it was togetherness.

I have things that stand out in my mind as a little discouraging.  Like the time when we had a large group of college students over and somehow, it bothered one young man that I didn't have enough chairs to seat them all.  He even made a comment about it to me as he was entering the front door.  It would have taken the wind out of my sails if I had let it.  But I just smiled and said "Well, we're doin' the best we can.  Come on in and join us!"  That evening ended up being an encouraging and edifying time together.  And yes, many of us sat on the floor. ;)

God has helped me to see that people are more important than the things that we have.  I never want to lose that focus.  Whatever the Lord has given me is something that I can use to honor and obey him by reaching out to those around me.

I know I've been sharing what I read a lot.  I hope you don't mind.  What I want to share with you today resonated with me so much that I said a hearty "Amen!" out loud.  Do you ever do that when you read something great?  Well, here is a passage from the book "Open Heart, Open Home" by Karen Mains.  The topic is "ENTERTAINING VS. HOSPITALITY."

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"For most Christians, taking in anyone in need, even one's own family, is a radical step.  Many who say they follow Christ have no comprehension of the basics of hospitality.  We have allowed the world to squeeze us into its mold.  We think in terms of entertaining as a woman's chance to demonstrate her skill and the quality of her home.  Entertaining has little to do with real hospitality.

Secular entertaining is a terrible bondage.  Its source is human pride.  Demanding perfection, fostering the urge to impress, it is a rigorous taskmaster that enslaves.  In contrast, scriptural hospitality is a freedom that liberates.

Entertaining says, "I want to impress you with my beautiful home, my clever decorating, my gourmet cooking."  Hospitality, however, seeks to minister.  It says, "This home is not mine.  It is truly a gift from my Master.  I am his servant, and I use it as he desires."  Hospitality does not try to impress but to serve.

Entertaining always puts things before people.  "As soon as I get the house finished, the living room decorated, my place settings complete, my housework done--then I will start having people in."  "The So-and-so's are coming.  I must buy that new such-and-such before they come."  Hospitality, however, puts people before things.  "We have no furniture; we'll eat on the floor."  "The decorating may never get done.  Please come just the same."  "The house is a mess, but these people are friends.  We never get to see them.  Let's have this time together anyway."

Because we are afraid to allow people to see us as we really are, we welcome the false ideal of entertaining.  To perpetuate the illusion we must pretend we love housework, we never put our hair in rollers, our children are so well disciplined that they always pick up their toys.  We must hint broadly that we manage our busy lives without difficulty.  Working hard to keep people from recognizing our weak points, we also prevent them from loving us in our weaknesses.

Because hospitality has put away its pride, it doesn't care if other people see our humanness.  Because we are maintaining no false pretensions, people relax and feel that perhaps we can be friends.  

Entertaining subtly declares, "This is mine--these rooms, these adornments.  This is an expression of my personality.  It is an extension of who and what I am.  Look, please, and admire."  Hospitality whispers, "What is mine is yours."  Here is the secret of community that is all but lost to the church of today.  "And all who believed were together and had all things in common" (Acts 2:44).  The hospitality of that first-century church clearly said, "What's mine is yours."

Entertainment looks for a payment--the words "My, isn't she a remarkable hostess"; a return dinner invitation; a job advancement for self or spouse; esteem in the eyes of friends and neighbors.  Hospitality does everything with no thought of reward but takes pleasure in the joy of giving, doing, loving, and serving."

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You know, since we have been living in our "temporary home" we have used up a ton of paper products.  It's what we are using on a daily basis and it's what we use to serve our guests.  There's something relaxing about it.  I mean, what concern can you really have about impressing anyone when you are serving on paper?  It's been fun and it helps me to realize, yet again, how little things like that really matter.  Our focus has been on people.  Getting to know them, spending time with them and really just sharing our lives in the time that we have together.

Whether we have a little or a lot, our focus should be on souls, not our stuff or the stuff we wish we could have.  What wonderful things could God just be waiting to do through you if you would just open up your home to others?  How long has it been?  What is holding you back?  Stained carpet, lack of space?  Don't let those things hinder you from serving God.  Reach out to others with what you have.  The greatest gift you can impart is the not the dinnerware or the impressive decorating.  No, it is not some thing that money can buy, it is a heart that is inclined to love others in the same wonderful way that God has loved you.  What better way to love and show that you genuinely care for someone than to invite them into your home with an open heart?

"Show hospitality to one another without grumbling."  1 Peter 4:9

"Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality."  Romans 12:13