Growing pains

That little girl up there...she's a wonder.  She's beautiful, she tugs on my heartstrings and just look at the cute little things that she does...the way she put her feet up on that chair so she could set her book on her knees...Oh, goodness!  I just about melted on the spot.  She is such a delightful little girl!

But she is not only that.  She is a complex human being.  Aren't we all?  Lately, in the mornings she will seem cheerful and she asks for her "cuppy" and then when she has it in front of her, she bursts into tears as if I did not understand her request.  And maybe the problem is that she wants juice instead of milk..well, .let's just say I am trying to teach her to be content with what she has been given.  And I am trying to teach her to simply talk to me.  "Isabel, I do not understand why you are crying, tell me what you need."  

And so this very concept is being taught to the four year old and to the other children as well.  The importance of communicating our needs, our burdens and our offenses to each other.  And doing it as soon as possible.  How necessary it is to communicate well rather than jump to conclusions and wail like a toddler who cannot yet form sentences.  I just marvel that I am teaching these concepts to children of many different ages.  It must be a life long lesson.  Some adults have not grasped it yet.  I pray that my children don't wait that long.

Which brings me to another topic.  Praying for my children.  It struck me this evening as I sat quietly listening to my husband's message in the church service, that I have concerns about my children that I have not been praying over.  Thinking about them and worrying about them, yes.  But praying over them?  Not enough.  And this evening I have a few more to add to the list.  You know, we moms rarely feel like we're doing enough and I'm not trying to beat myself up about it.  I just recognize how much wisdom I need from the Lord to teach my children well and to train them in his ways.  

You know, I may have this blog and I write about all these spiritual things but the truth is, I HAVE SO MUCH TO LEARN!  Sometimes I feel inadequate and under qualified.  And can I add terrified to that list? Sometimes I am moving right along like "Yeah, I've got this mothering thing down" other times I am scared silly that I'm not doing a good enough job raising my kids.  Just ask my husband how many times I've cried over that concern.

The thing is, I don't want these concerns to be a discouragement but rather an encouragement to grow and allow God to show me what more I can give.  I cannot be superwoman, I cannot give them everything, I am far from being the "model" mother.  I just love my kids and want to give them what I can.  I want to give them what the Lord shows me I can give.  I want my heart to be open to the Lord's discipline NOT to a guilt trip.  God wants my growth not my discouragement.  I am asking him to show me areas where I can do better and honor him more with my day to day mothering.  He sees it all so clearly and he knows where the changes need to be made even better than I do.

He is bringing things to light.  I thank him and praise him for that.  I have not "arrived", not until I see my Savior face to face.  Until then, I will follow the Holy Spirit's leading and be less casual about praying for these beautiful children he has given my husband and I.  There are so many needs and I have a God who is able to meet them all.