Someone wise once said, "Every disillusionment is a gift
from God and an invitation to grow, because illusion by definition
is not reality and Jesus is perfect truth.
So while I acknowledge a more difficult reality of myself
or my circumstance, I can anticipate a greater freedom."
It's hard going through trials of any kind. Pain, even the emotional kind can be such an intruder. When I experience it I immediately want it to go away. "Leave me alone, I felt good before you showed up! I was confident and pleased with my progress." When I have a "humbling" experience, I should not become bitter or resent God's discipline.
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge;
fools despise wisdom and instruction. Prov. 1:7
Whoever heeds instruction is on the path to life,
but he who rejects reproof leads others astray. Prov.10:17
Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge,
but he who hates reproof is stupid. Prov. 12:1
Whoever ignores instruction despises himself,
but he who listens to reproof gains intelligence. Prov. 15:32
The wisdom of the Bible teaches us that it is wise to receive correction and instruction and foolish to reject it. Yet in our pride we want to continue thinking that we are just fine the way we are. I see this foolishness in my children so easily and I am beginning to see the same tendency in myself sometimes. We think "Aren't I good enough now?" or "Haven't I learned enough by now?" I admit that sometimes I question God's wisdom in what he allows me to experience. My thinking is "Won't this make it worse?" "Aren't I the last person in the world who needs to stumble in something I am trying so hard to be better at?" "I need more confidence Lord, not less!" It's hard to come to grips with the painful reality that we have some growing to do as we mature in Christ. I really do have to trust his wisdom and love for me. My understanding of things is so limited.
Even with my own children, it is in love that I correct them. I struggle with them and for them, I want to see them mature and I want to mature too. God's love for each of us is even greater than the love I have for my children. And thankfully, he can see everything in my heart and life that needs correction with perfect clarity. Nothing hinders his view.
Have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?
"My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
nor be weary when reproved by him.
For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and chastises every son whom he receives."
It is for discipline that you have to endure.
God is treating you as sons.
For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are
left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate
children and not sons.
Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we
respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of
spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed
best to them, but
he disciplines us for our good,
that we may share in his holiness.
For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant,
but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who
have been trained by it.
Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees,
and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may
not be put out of joint but rather be healed. Hebrews 12: 5-13
Initially, when I began to see that God was disciplining me, I didn't want to go through it. Honestly, I enjoy the mountain top feeling of being confident in who I am and what I am able to do. But God is lovingly reminding me that if my confidence is in myself, then it is misplaced.
One of the greatest messages of the Bible is that our confidence should be in God, who is able to do amazing things in and through us, if we submit to him and obey his Word. And what's more, it's not so that we can look good, it's so He can look good. He alone is worthy and deserves all the glory.
Recently, I responded wrongly in my heart to the emotional trial I wrote about in "Humbled." After the sinking feeling that I had not "performed" in a way what I could feel good about, my pride reared it's ugly head. God helped me to see it was there, after I took the time to evaluate why I felt the way I did.
When my husband sensed that something was wrong, he asked me about it. I didn't want to speak. I knew if I did that I would complain and my pride would come out. I needed time to commune with God. My husband understood and gave me the time I needed to be silent and think. I asked God to please help me not to miss this lesson I was beginning to see I needed to learn. Could it be that God had very purposefully allowed me to go through this trial so that I could grow...even just a little bit more..to be like His Son Jesus? Could it be that I needed to fall flat on my face in order to get my perspective right? My life should be all about bringing glory and honor to the One who is worthy of it, I am simply an image-bearer.
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