speaking volumes

    So many words are spoken in the course of a day.  Tender words that express love and affection.  Impatient words that express frustration.  Words that correct and rebuke.  Words that encourage.  Words that heal.  Even without our words we communicate.  Our body language and facial expressions can speak volumes!  I have heard my children say that Isabel cannot understand us.  I tell them she understands much more than they think and she is learning more every time we speak to her.  And have you noticed how we all use sweet, soft tones when we speak to babies?  We wouldn't want to be harsh and scare them, right?  We want them to see that we are kind and loving people.  Shouldn't we maintain this reputation when they get older?

   I've been thinking a lot about the words that come out of my mouth.  As a mom I spend much time correcting my children when they use a rude tone, or an impatient, disrespectful tone.  It is difficult when I take a step back and actually listen to how I sound sometimes.

   I think that sometimes we are not even aware of how we sound to our kids, but God graciously reveals it to us.

   In the past week I have been thinking about patience.  My lack of patience often shows up in my words and the way I speak them.  I've been thinking about how being patient (or not) is a choice I make.  Patience is a fruit of the Spirit.  (See Galatians 5:16-26) I choose to walk in the Spirit or not.  I have all the strength in Christ I need.

   Some days it seems that one thing after another happens and there is conflict, there is disagreement, children have hurt feelings and I am right there guiding and directing and instructing when I reach a point that it feels like too much for me.  The other day I felt like I was in patience boot camp or something!  There were so many opportunities for me to choose how I was going to respond.  Each time before I spoke I was relying on God's grace to say it in a patient way (as opposed to being exasperated).  And to express love as well, even as I am correcting and teaching them.  And you know what?  He really does help me!  I am realizing that each and every moment...I am choosing how to respond.

   Have you ever been in a situation where you are being impatient or frustrated with your kids and someone unexpectedly knocks on the door or walks around a corner in public and suddenly you are struck with the realization that you should probably change your tone?  I have been there!  I confess it is easier to be sweet to our kids when others are watching, but what about when no one else is around?  It is very sobering to think that our children may be noticing a significant difference in the way we treat them publicly and privately.

   Lately, it's like I'm trying to take a step back and look at how my children must see me.  What expressions do they see on my face?  Is my tone irritated and annoyed?  Sometimes it really does take effort to speak in a loving and patient tone.  But I think the effort is worth the rewards.  Though I still fail sometimes, I am reaping the blessing of being closer to my kids than ever before.  God's ways truly are best.