{pt. 1 of this series: Christ's example for my marriage}
{pt. 2 of this series: Competing or completing?}
{pt. 2 of this series: Competing or completing?}
What is it that makes a woman truly beautiful? What comes to your mind first?
We often think of the external first don't we?
Fixing our hair (I confess I have spent over an hour curling my hair at times!), and all the intricate details of applying our makeup, manicuring our nails and plucking our eyebrows. Do you have a "beauty ritual"?
We usually want make sure that we look put together and presentable. It's important to us. Have you ever rushed out the door to get something at the store without having spent much time on your appearance? You kinda hope you don't see anyone you know, right? You don't want to leave a poor impression of yourself. Now I understand that some don't seem to care much about their appearance at all, but I'm speaking to those that do. Have you considered the impressions you are making in your day to day life concerning your character? I'm not just referring to what everyone outside your home might think, but what message is your husband getting by the way you respond to his leading your family?
So much thought and consideration goes into our appearance. Sadly, we can become consumed with it. For some women, it's all they really seem to care about. I've been there. I have had seasons in my life where my appearance was my primary focus, to the neglect of much more important things. I've gotten up in the morning after really struggling to get out of bed, and my first thoughts are "I have so much to do to get ready and so little time!" I proceed to go through all the steps. Shower, make-up, get dressed, fix my hair and everything in between. I've jumped in the van to get to where I need to go and all the way there, I'm thinking about my appearance. Anything in my teeth? Any smudges of my makeup? Did I miss a spot when I shaved my legs? Does my outfit look sharp? Am I having a good or a bad hair day? Some days I'm complimenting myself, and feeling really good about it, some days...not so much. Thoughts of my appearance have consumed me to the point that I have thought of little else.
God began to show me that I was getting it all wrong and putting the cart before the horse so to speak. Yes, our appearance is important, it is a poor testimony for Christ if we neglect it altogether. The problem we often have is that we give more time and attention to detail to our appearance than we give to the pursuit of Christ-likeness.
Do not let your adorning be external--the braiding of hair and the putting
on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear-- but let your adorning be the
hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a
gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 1 Peter 3:3-4
Shouldn't I be more consumed with making sure my heart is right before God? Shouldn't I be more focused on doing good than looking good? God knows what lengths we go to in order to look beautiful to ourselves and to others. The question is, would he be pleased with the lengths we go to in order to honor him in the secret place of our hearts? Are our attitudes and responses a reflection of our time spent with God, in his word, cultivating godly character and allowing him to shape and mold us?
First of all, gentleness (meekness) and a quiet spirit are not just for women. These are the qualities that every believer in Christ should be aiming for. This is the very attitude of Christ himself epitomized in the Garden of Gethsemane when in agony over the coming experience of the cruel cross he prayed "My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me...
...nevertheless not as I will, but as you will."
Matthew 26:39
Matthew 26:39
Not demanding his own way, not selfishly asserting himself, not combative, stubborn or defiant. But yielded to God's leading and control...even when it's hard. To have a gentle and quiet spirit is to have a beauty that does not fade. This beauty has eternal value and it is precious to God. Just think of how great a value Christ's submission to the Father has had for you, as a believer in him? And how long ago did he have this resolve to submit? The effects of his resolve will never fade away. They are the most precious thing in the world to those who know him.
As a wife, my submission to my husband is directly related to my submission to God. Do I trust in my ability to influence, manipulate or control my husband? Or do I trust God, who is sovereign over all, and able to handle (even better than I can) what I cannot change? That's the "quiet spirit" part. Notice how it says a quiet spirit, not a quiet mouth. Surely there are times when it is best to remain silent. We shouldn't be hasty to speak, nor react in a harsh way to something our husband says or does. But when I disagree with my husband, I can go to him respectfully...a lot like Jesus did when he prayed. I can share my heart. I can share my concerns. The question is... is my spirit willing to yield when my husband is firm on an issue? Remember if he's asking or telling you to sin, you have to stay committed to purity before God first and foremost. But what about when you just don't think it will be best if you do something? Does your husband think it will be best? God says to be subject to our husbands. That means we follow his lead without fearing the consequences. We'll look at that more in depth in my next post, as we look at the example of Sarah pointed out in 1 Peter 3.
God is using this study in my life already. Teachers are often students too. I confess, it is downright hard to live out the truth of this passage. But I have already experienced the "yoke being easy and the burden being light" as Jesus said. It is a hard road to fight your husband and ultimately to fight God. Even today I am experiencing the relief and the rest in my soul of yielding to God and to my husband. Though it often comes through tears and a painful internal struggle...Jesus calls us to this rest...
As a wife, my submission to my husband is directly related to my submission to God. Do I trust in my ability to influence, manipulate or control my husband? Or do I trust God, who is sovereign over all, and able to handle (even better than I can) what I cannot change? That's the "quiet spirit" part. Notice how it says a quiet spirit, not a quiet mouth. Surely there are times when it is best to remain silent. We shouldn't be hasty to speak, nor react in a harsh way to something our husband says or does. But when I disagree with my husband, I can go to him respectfully...a lot like Jesus did when he prayed. I can share my heart. I can share my concerns. The question is... is my spirit willing to yield when my husband is firm on an issue? Remember if he's asking or telling you to sin, you have to stay committed to purity before God first and foremost. But what about when you just don't think it will be best if you do something? Does your husband think it will be best? God says to be subject to our husbands. That means we follow his lead without fearing the consequences. We'll look at that more in depth in my next post, as we look at the example of Sarah pointed out in 1 Peter 3.
God is using this study in my life already. Teachers are often students too. I confess, it is downright hard to live out the truth of this passage. But I have already experienced the "yoke being easy and the burden being light" as Jesus said. It is a hard road to fight your husband and ultimately to fight God. Even today I am experiencing the relief and the rest in my soul of yielding to God and to my husband. Though it often comes through tears and a painful internal struggle...Jesus calls us to this rest...
"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden,
and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me,
for I am gentle and lowly in heart,
and you will find rest for your souls.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."
Matthew 11:28-30
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