I remember sort of fumbling around as a new mother. Before having my own baby, I was someone who felt uncomfortable with babies. I worried that I wouldn't cradle their heads just right. I would turn down offers to hold them because I thought that I would probably just make them cry. I worried they would "sense" my inexperience and then I'd have to go through the awkward debate of "Hand the baby back to mom or try (in vain) to comfort them". They seemed like such complex creatures at the time...sometimes they still do ;).
And it's funny how different we can be as parents. Even within our own homes. It seems that my husband (the playful one) begins to flip, toss and tickle the babies before I think they are ready for it. At least it all takes place on a springy mattress. And is it any wonder that from an early age they LOVE to play with daddy? I have had to grow in my level of trust with this man!
And that's just within the context of my own family. What about outside of it?
There certainly are differences in approach to parenting. When it comes to preference we have to recognize that there are differences and that is ok. We should not be competing for the "better parent" prize. We should be supporting and encouraging each other.
If moms now are anything like I was when I first started, I think new moms feel a tremendous amount of pressure to show others that they know what they are doing. I have been guilty of the attitude that says "I've got this and I don't need your input." I realize that there are some things that we just need to experience on our own and learn from our mistakes...but I do have to wonder how many blunders I could have been spared had I sought advice from more experienced mothers.
And here's the thing that I am realizing even now...I don't often ask for advice. Either I convince myself that someone else won't know the answers to my particular issue or I am too proud to let anyone see a chink in my armor. I think I fear that if I let someone in on that one problem that I don't know how to handle, that they will perpetually see me as the mom with "that" problem. It really is immature thinking. I forget that what I need is to be humble.
When pride comes, then comes disgrace,
but with the humble is wisdom. (Prov. 11:2)
The fear of the LORD is instruction in wisdom,
and humility comes before honor. (Prov. 15:33)
You know, I just have to commend some of the young moms who are willing to go beyond the baby books they are reading and ask another mom questions about how to do things. It requires admitting that they don't always know exactly how to handle everything. Isn't that the first step to being able to glean from what someone else has already learned...maybe even the hard way, like me? I have to wonder what unnecessary hardships I could have been spared had I been willing to seek counsel.
Even now I still see a need to improve on this in my life. I've begun to seek advice more and have become more willing to open up about my struggles. This has actually resulted in tremendous benefit for me because either I realize that I need to adjust my thinking or my approach or I am encouraged to keep on keepin' on. Because really, everything I am doing as a mom is worth it, and it has precious eternal value.
Maybe there is something you are struggling with as a mom? Go ahead and ask someone about it. Sure, they might not have all the answers either, but that's ok. You may really miss out if you don't at least try. Without even realizing it, you may just be an encouragement to them too.
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