Persevering in motherhood

Becoming a parent can be a real eye opener.  We enter into this stage of life with so many aspirations of what we will be like as parents. 

Having observed many parenting strengths and weaknesses in others, we begin to tuck away all of the things that we will apply when it is our turn.  We have thought it all out, we have reasoned and deduced and resolved.  We have thought "Oh no, not my child!  My child will NOT act like that."  And later we may find ourselves shaking our heads in disbelief that our child would do such a thing.

Sometimes when we are living on the outside, looking in of an experience, we think we have it all figured out.  We think that we will know how to handle what another parent failed to handle well.  You know, I won't deny that it's good to have gained some wisdom about parenting and it is good to be as prepared as possible.  But there is one thing that I think many young couples are not prepared for.

Simply not knowing what to do.

Why is it that in parenting we seem to think that we should know it all and if we know it all everything will run smoothly?  Same with marriage.  People think that because they don't have problems A and B and since they have learned they should do C and D that everything will turn out fine.  We fail to realize that E, F and G are 

things that we don't necessarily have covered yet.  

But it's ok, don't give up.  We have a God who knows just what we should do.  He's seen this one before.  He's got this and you don't have to worry, just pray and seek his help and direction.

Sometimes the first child that God gives you is easy peasy.  This child is so compliant and even seems to delight in doing what you say.  It even seems they have almost effortlessly learned to say "please" and "thank you" and they respond so well when you say no.  Sweetness seems to come naturally to them.  It's not long before all of this ease with parenting causes you to wonder what all the fuss is about.  Yes, and sometimes we get proud.  We struggle to understand why our friend is struggling so much to discipline, to potty train (the method I tried worked so well for me!), to get her child to sit still, to just be consistent!  Why is it so hard for her when it didn't seem to take much effort for you?

Because children are different from one family to the next.  Even in the same family and household, children are different.  One may not respond in the same way another will.  I have seven children, and just when I think I have it all figured out--something new and difficult shows up.

Never, never never get proud and think that you have it all figured out.  You don't.  I don't.  And realizing that is actually a good thing because it motivates us to pray more and seek wisdom from God.  Are you praying about the challenges you are facing as a parent.  Think for a moment.  What are you struggling with on a daily basis.  Pray and ask God to help you and show you what to do.  No issue is too small or insignificant.

I am amazed at how long I go just struggling with some issue, until finally I decide to bring it to God.  And then I wonder why on earth I waited so long.

You see, I have this wonderful, delightful three year old boy.  He is also complex, emotional and energetic and he has so much to learn and apply.  Every day I am teaching him to learn how to do ______, to be a "big boy" now, to have self-control...every.single.day I am teaching him.  And there are many repeats.  As I continue to expend the effort, I begin to feel like a hamster spinning on a wheel.  I feel like I'm not getting anywhere sometimes.  I wonder if I am getting through and if he is getting it at all.  Even though I have been through this stage five times before I am still afraid!  I am afraid that he will never get it.

I know I must take heart and keep trying and remember that my effort is not in vain.  Because when I started all this parenting stuff, I was far from skilled.  But by God's grace I have learned a thing or two.  And someway, somehow five children before this one actually graduated from this stage.  Wow, I have to remind myself. ;)

I'm turning to God.  I'm asking him to help me to teach this little guy to be a man.  I am asking the God who has the heart of the king in his hands (Prov. 21:1) to move the heart of my son.  I have even prayed that he would help my son to "get it".  That my training, my words, my guidance would penetrate.  Because sometimes it feels like it all just bounces off of a rock hard wall.

If you are a parent, will you persevere with me?  Whether you have only begun or have been at it a good long while.  Keep it up.  You serve Christ with every nose wiped, every mess you clean on your hands and knees and every word you speak to teach your little ones how to live well.  You serve Christ.  And it is not in vain.