Where I belong {writing prompt}

This April, my husband and I will celebrate 18 years of marriage!  As a married woman, I have been through many peaks and valleys.  No marriage is perfect, right?  How could it be with two imperfect people?

Several weeks ago, I shared with a group of ladies how God has changed my thinking concerning my marriage.  I remember the first four years or so of our marriage.  Those were times when my only foundation was my whim and desire for everything to go my way.  If it wasn't, I wanted out.  I panicked.  I can remember storming out of the house after an argument and thinking that there was no hope for us and no way we would get past this.  We were struggling to understand each other...and what did we really know of love?   To us, love was good feelings.  I would later come to see that it's not that way with God.

That God would want a relationship with me...the unlovely, the impure, the selfish...that he would pursue me, not turning away and refusing me but accepting me.  His love is warm and sacrificial.  His love is nurturing and he desires me to turn from my ways to his.  His love is the basis for all of my relationships.

How can I run away when he stays?  He is loyal and faithful.

How can I think only of myself when he gave his only Son to die a brutal death in my sinful place?

How can I be unkind when I know that it was his kindness that lead me to repentance?

The truth of who God is has laid the foundation for my marriage.  I will not pretend that I have always been responsive to the truth but I have had some victory over the years.  That victory has come as I have spent time getting to know God through his Word and chosen to live it out.  Those are the beautiful times.  Even though they are hard, they are beautiful.  They are the moments I will never regret.  I want to live like that.  No regrets.

I thought I'd share a recent little thing that my husband and I came up with.  Sometimes it just helps to have a certain thing you say in a particular situation.  Think about those times that you have something that you really want your spouse to change, work on, or start doing.  Or maybe you need to talk to them about something that bothers you.  Your mind may be flooded with all of the things you want to tell them.  But let's face it, sometimes when we get the opportunity we go on and on and we say more than we need to.  The thing is, we want to make sure we are getting our point across, right?

Well, it is in these situations that we have started saying "Duly noted".  It works really well for us.  These are usually those times when we are in the bedroom putting things away or making the bed.  It's a great time for us to bring things up with each other.  And we listen to each other.  But saying "Duly noted" is a way to let the other know that we get it.  We understand the problem and we will aim to change it.  It's not rude or careless.  It's a short way to communicate "I love you, I have heard you, and I will take it to heart and to prayer".  Sometimes we verbalize all of those things but other times it works so well to just say "Duly noted".  And sometimes we chuckle and tease "Are you telling me to be quiet?" :)  It depends on the mood of course.

I thank God for redeeming our marriage.  For being our rock, our hope and our shield.  I know what it's like to live without him.  And believe me, I don't ever want to go back.

I'm right where I belong, through thick and thin.  Love is more than feelings.  It is a choice.  It's a choice I can make because God chose to love me with all of my imperfections.  I praise him for that.



Linking up for the writing prompt here: http://www.ellenstumbo.com/where-i-belong/