She said she felt worthless

Recently, on Facebook, a person that I love and care about said that she felt worthless.  And it's not the first time that I come across an alarming statement like that one.  For a while, I wasn't able to get those words out of my mind.  I thought of them in random moments throughout the week.  I thought about how to respond to such words and I thought about how the Lord would respond.  Because truthfully, though friends and family try their best to boost and encourage the person with how worthy and special they think they are, those words can only go so far and can only last so long.  They are important but they are not enough.

It is in Jesus Christ, the One who is worthy of every word of praise and honor that we find our worth.

He is the One who loved so passionately and deeply that he gave his life over to be despised and rejected.  He is the One so worthy that he could have called thousands of angels to his rescue.  But he didn't because rescuing us was the reason he came in the first place.

To be rescued, we must see our need for help.  If a hand is extended to us we must make the choice to reach out and take it.  It will take our complete trust and realizing that we are helpless to avoid certain death.

"But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become the children of God."  John 1:12

Receiving Jesus.  That is all.  Not rejecting him because you doubt his ability or because you want to try and rescue yourself.  Not relying on the praise and adoration of other people as a way to feel like you are loved and cared about.  But realizing that no one loves you or cares for you more than God.  Simply receive Jesus.  That is the way that God had it planned from the beginning.  It is the only true way for you to find worth.  It is in God's beautiful and sacrificial love for you.

You can be whole.  

Everything can be made right between you and God.  

You can have true joy.  

You can find forgiveness and freedom from the burden of your guilt.  

And you can know that God has given you eternal life and you will live with him forever.  (John 3:16)

God wants so much for you to turn to him.  He wants to help you, to give you true understanding and true wisdom.  The God who made you wants so much to have a close relationship with you.  He wants you to have a new heart with opened eyes to see the lies you have believed and the harmful thoughts you have lived with for so long.  He wants to lead you along a good path and show you how much better you can live your life if you live it his way.  No one knows you better than he does.

It shouldn't be a surprise that without God we feel worthless.  What purpose do we have apart from God working in our lives?  It is when we go our own way and turn away from God that we become worthless.

"All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one."  Romans 3:12

Turn away from worthlessness and sin and turn to Jesus who "made himself nothing" (Phil. 2:7) so that he could give the greatest gift to you.  The gift of eternal life.  

"In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him."  1 John 1:9

Bright and beautiful TEN!

Tomorrow we'll be celebrating ten years of this amazing girl's life.  The days when I thought she was a timid little girl seem like a distant memory now.  Now I see her differently.  She is bold and courageous.  She knows what she wants and she goes for it.  She is not afraid to try new things.  She often has to be reminded that there are some things that she needs to ask mom about first, you know, before she tries them.  She loves to laugh, she loves life and I love her to bits.  Sweet, spunky girl.

When she sets her heart on something it is pretty hard to budge her.  This can be a strength as well as a weakness.  How often I have encouraged her to put her trust in God, the giver of opportunities and the loving one who sometimes withholds what we want because he knows what we really need.  Yes, as a mom I often teach while learning those lessons at the same time.

I have been noticing that Brienne is a very careful observer of the people around her.  Sometimes this means picking up bad habits and trying them on for size.  It also means seeing what mom and dad think about it. We see it as another opportunity to point her to God.  "Just because someone else does that (or says that) does not mean it is right."  You see, when you've got a choice between wrong, hmmmm...maybe not so bad, and best, shouldn't you always choose best?  Especially when it comes to choosing your words?  God has certainly not left us without wisdom on that matter!

But I have also noticed her doing her best to be friendly.  She thrives on interacting with people.  She often goes with me to the laundromat and she looks out for other kids to talk and giggle with.  One time a little girl her age was there with her mom.  The mom was not interested in being friendly but this little girl was.  Our time there was a mixture of finishing up schoolwork (homework for the girl) and chatting a little.  Shortly before we left I gave Brienne a "Bridge" tract to give to her friend.  She went back to her math and waited for a good moment to give it to her.  After giving it to her, the girl said "Oh, we believe in God.  We used to walk on water."  Brienne was pretty much speechless.  :)  It was fun to talk later about good ways to respond to that...somehow I doubt that one will ever come up again but...you never know.  I pray that the Lord will give her a strong desire to make his truth known to the people he brings into her life.

The next time we went she kept trying to connect with this little girl there and it just wasn't working.  She'd say hello, smile, wave, sit somewhat near her but the girl was oblivious.  I watched Brienne with interest as I crocheted a baby blanket.  She even commented to me how she kept trying to be friendly to the girl but it just wasn't working.  Brienne wasn't being pushy or anything, she was just making herself available.  To me, that is boldness in and of itself.  She doesn't seem to worry too much about what people think.  I love that about her.  I hope she never lets the fear of rejection stop her from reaching out in love.  

My beautiful daughter.  You are sunshine in my life.

Growing pains

That little girl up there...she's a wonder.  She's beautiful, she tugs on my heartstrings and just look at the cute little things that she does...the way she put her feet up on that chair so she could set her book on her knees...Oh, goodness!  I just about melted on the spot.  She is such a delightful little girl!

But she is not only that.  She is a complex human being.  Aren't we all?  Lately, in the mornings she will seem cheerful and she asks for her "cuppy" and then when she has it in front of her, she bursts into tears as if I did not understand her request.  And maybe the problem is that she wants juice instead of milk..well, .let's just say I am trying to teach her to be content with what she has been given.  And I am trying to teach her to simply talk to me.  "Isabel, I do not understand why you are crying, tell me what you need."  

And so this very concept is being taught to the four year old and to the other children as well.  The importance of communicating our needs, our burdens and our offenses to each other.  And doing it as soon as possible.  How necessary it is to communicate well rather than jump to conclusions and wail like a toddler who cannot yet form sentences.  I just marvel that I am teaching these concepts to children of many different ages.  It must be a life long lesson.  Some adults have not grasped it yet.  I pray that my children don't wait that long.

Which brings me to another topic.  Praying for my children.  It struck me this evening as I sat quietly listening to my husband's message in the church service, that I have concerns about my children that I have not been praying over.  Thinking about them and worrying about them, yes.  But praying over them?  Not enough.  And this evening I have a few more to add to the list.  You know, we moms rarely feel like we're doing enough and I'm not trying to beat myself up about it.  I just recognize how much wisdom I need from the Lord to teach my children well and to train them in his ways.  

You know, I may have this blog and I write about all these spiritual things but the truth is, I HAVE SO MUCH TO LEARN!  Sometimes I feel inadequate and under qualified.  And can I add terrified to that list? Sometimes I am moving right along like "Yeah, I've got this mothering thing down" other times I am scared silly that I'm not doing a good enough job raising my kids.  Just ask my husband how many times I've cried over that concern.

The thing is, I don't want these concerns to be a discouragement but rather an encouragement to grow and allow God to show me what more I can give.  I cannot be superwoman, I cannot give them everything, I am far from being the "model" mother.  I just love my kids and want to give them what I can.  I want to give them what the Lord shows me I can give.  I want my heart to be open to the Lord's discipline NOT to a guilt trip.  God wants my growth not my discouragement.  I am asking him to show me areas where I can do better and honor him more with my day to day mothering.  He sees it all so clearly and he knows where the changes need to be made even better than I do.

He is bringing things to light.  I thank him and praise him for that.  I have not "arrived", not until I see my Savior face to face.  Until then, I will follow the Holy Spirit's leading and be less casual about praying for these beautiful children he has given my husband and I.  There are so many needs and I have a God who is able to meet them all.

What "good" does God have in mind?

"To maintain trust, we need to understand the "good" our God wants to accomplish.  We persist in prayer presuming that God knits together the fabric of his purposes from the yarn of our prayers, our circumstances, his time, his power, and his knowledge...The apostle Paul says, 'In all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose' (Rom. 8:28).  Then the apostle spells out the 'good' God intends from all things: 'For those God foreknew, he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.'  God does not define our good as the absence of difficulty but rather as our being 'conformed to the likeness of his Son.'  God wants to fill up his eternal family with many siblings of Jesus who are like him.  The 'good' God most wants for us is our Christlikeness."  (From "Praying Backwards" by Bryan Chapell)

Sometimes, our definition of good and what God considers good are a bit at odds.  Honestly, the absence of difficulty is something I greatly value and appreciate.  Wouldn't you concur?  I just love it when things go smoothly.  With no major problems or surprises to speak of and nothing to get in the way of progress and my (prayed over) plans being fulfilled.  I know it sounds selfish and even unrealistic but isn't that how we generally want things to go?

It's easy to get so caught up in my circumstances that I lose sight of God's greater purpose for me.  I might even think of Romans 8:28 in the midst of my difficult circumstances and think "God will work this out for good" and, to me,  that might mean that somehow, someway good will come of this.  And it's true, sometimes we can look back and see that if that difficult thing hadn't happened then we wouldn't be experiencing the blessing of something else.  But it's more than that, isn't it?

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.  For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers."  Romans 8:28-29 ESV

Bryan Chapell is pointing it out in the quote at the beginning of this post and the context of Romans 8:28 makes it very clear.  The greatest "good" to be desired is the very "good" that God wants for us in every.single.circumstance.  Everything that God allows in our lives presents us with an opportunity to be "conformed to the image of his Son".  It's not automatic, as if something difficult happens and the result will be us being more like Christ.  No, our response to our trials and ultimately our response toward God are major factors in determining what will come of the hard things in our lives.

I am trying to remember this when the unexpected difficulties come up.  I remind myself that my sovereign God is not as surprised as I am.  In fact, he's not surprised at all.  It's an opportunity for me to respond as Christ would.  It's an opportunity to submit to God's will, to trust him because he is a loving Father, and to seek his glory above all else.  And what does that mean anyway?  Could it mean that even though I am going through something hard that I can maintain my focus on his purposes for me?  Could it mean that I can still say he is good and he does good things and mean it with all my heart?

The truth is, we will all experience difficulty in this life whether we know Christ as our Lord and Savior or not.  For those of us who are his by faith and for those of us who love him as a response to his great love for us, we have an amazing opportunity.  It is the opportunity to grow and change to be more like the one who gave himself for us.  It is the opportunity to respond in trust, rather than give in to our doubts and despair.  

God's ultimate will is to make us more Christlike.  If you are his, you can be sure that he wants that for you more than anything else.  Realize that learning to live your life more like your Savior is the greatest good you could ever hope for.  I am learning this too.  And it's not hard to notice as I look back over what God has brought me through, that my loving heavenly Father was working in every circumstance to teach me more about yielding, trusting and depending.  I wouldn't learn it if I never had to do it.

In closing, I'll leave you with another quote from Bryan Chapell:

"Understanding that God's primary goal for our prayers is our spiritual transformation helps explain why he may delay his response to some requests.  We may want a change in our circumstances, when God wants a change in us.  We may need to persist in prayer to discern, for example, that we want a quick solution, but God wants growth in our patience; we want the removal of a troublesome co-worker, but God wants an increase in our love; we want an end to pressures, but God wants us to learn to trust him in everything."