Choosing trust over doubt

Sometimes even the smallest of children can seem to be so trusting of the parents that care for them but I have found that is not always the case.  Honestly, sometimes they can get pretty upset when they begin to doubt that we understand what they need.  Add to that learning to speak the same language and you have some pretty intense moments at times.  

Isabel knows how to ask for the everyday essentials.  She also repeats herself over and over again for emphasis.  "Cuppy, cuppy, cuppy" almost always gets her a refreshing cup of milk, juice or water.  "Pacy" and "blankee" are usually always close by and happily given when she asks for them.  "Help me, help me, help me" alerts us that she needs assistance with something.  She knows that we love her and that we are usually attentive to her needs.  But sometimes she doubts.  She begins to doubt when we do not hear her right away, or maybe we are not able to meet her request at that very moment.  And sometimes, she panics.  She begins to cry and ask louder.  And sometimes, depending upon the situation and what she needs, we will rush to get it for her.  Other times, we discern that she has a lesson to learn and needs some discipline.

I have felt compassion for her when she is sitting in her car seat and I just don't have that cupful of refreshment she's longing for.  It is then that she is learning to wait and be patient.  I assure her of my love and also assure that as soon as we get to where we are going, she will have what she needs.  Sometimes this helps and sometimes she just wails even louder.

Have you ever noticed that when you are right in the thick of facing the daunting details of a mostly unknown future that it is the hardest to trust, to be assured of God's love and, for goodness sake, not to panic?  How many times in the past have I sat in quiet solitude, reflecting on the goodness and greatness of God and putting those thoughts into words on this blog, and yet...I feel afraid of all those little details that I can't control?

This living in a new state, a very expensive state to live in I might add (except for the avocados!)...this waiting for a house to sell and looking for a house to buy...this finding new doctors and expecting a new baby...doctor bills, property taxes, shoes getting too small for growing feet, and then add to that all the things I know I'll need, the things that I just might need and what else haven't I thought of?!  It can get overwhelming and leaves me with a choice to make.

The natural tendency for many of us is to sit and stew with worry.  To be paralyzed with fear.  To fear that maybe it just won't work out like we thought it would before we were in the thick of it.  

And sadly, we begin to doubt God.  It can happen to all of us.  Even those very strong in faith can have their moments of weakness.  We, like small children, often have our moments when we panic about the circumstances and the longer we have to wait, the louder we wail.  It may only be going on inside of us but our spirit is not at peace and it is not at rest in God.  

This rest doesn't come from knowing exactly how things are going to turn out, it comes from a quiet trust in the God who made us, loves us, and redeemed us from the darkest of pits.  I have often found so much comfort in simply thinking about my God and reading his Word, in which he tells me about himself.  I see his righteous and holy character.  I see his power and his might.  I see his love and compassion.  His perfect plan which cannot be thwarted or hindered being carried out through the ages.  

God is not like us parents.  He is never dull of hearing or not paying attention.  He is never unable to meet our needs and even some of our wants.  He is fully capable of accomplishing all his holy will in our lives.  If he is withholding from us, it may be because we need some discipline, it may be that we need to grow and mature.  We may need to learn what he knows is necessary for us to learn.  It's easy to get irritated with that at times, almost as if to say "Enough already!  Can we be done with the lessons and can I just get what I want?!" 

Let me tell you, I've been there.  I could liken my internal response to that of a toddler throwing a little tantrum.  So focused on what I want and not on what is best for me.  You know who knows what is best?  God does.  Will you join me in choosing to trust him?

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by 

the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope."  

Romans 15:13

     

What is hospitality anyway?

"The model for entertaining is found in the slick pages of women's magazines with their 

appealing pictures of foods and rooms.  The model for hospitality is found in the Word of God."

~Karen Mains

I've had my share of struggles with feeling like my home was less than.  At times, I have had my share of excuses for not having people into our home.  When my husband was a college student and we were a growing family on a tight budget, we didn't have the means to fix a bathroom with peeling paint and I won't mention what else needed to be done to that poor bathroom...

I have had the glasses that used to be jars of jelly or pasta sauce and later they graced our table.  I have endured the carpet that was never (ever!) quite what I wanted it to be and replacing that was not an option for us either.  

I realize now, how sad it is that I let things like that get in the way of reaching out to others in my church, neighborhood and community.  Of course, I had other good excuses.  Like how busy we were, and how desperate we were for family time with my husband's crazy full time student/full time employee schedule.  There was a time were I could somewhat comfortably avoid the issue.  But God was working in my heart all along.  

We began to have people over here and there.  When we had a very small dining table and couldn't seat all of our company, I sat with a couple of ladies on our living room floor with our plates on the small table in front of us.  I enjoyed their company.  It wasn't exactly fine dining but it was togetherness.

I have things that stand out in my mind as a little discouraging.  Like the time when we had a large group of college students over and somehow, it bothered one young man that I didn't have enough chairs to seat them all.  He even made a comment about it to me as he was entering the front door.  It would have taken the wind out of my sails if I had let it.  But I just smiled and said "Well, we're doin' the best we can.  Come on in and join us!"  That evening ended up being an encouraging and edifying time together.  And yes, many of us sat on the floor. ;)

God has helped me to see that people are more important than the things that we have.  I never want to lose that focus.  Whatever the Lord has given me is something that I can use to honor and obey him by reaching out to those around me.

I know I've been sharing what I read a lot.  I hope you don't mind.  What I want to share with you today resonated with me so much that I said a hearty "Amen!" out loud.  Do you ever do that when you read something great?  Well, here is a passage from the book "Open Heart, Open Home" by Karen Mains.  The topic is "ENTERTAINING VS. HOSPITALITY."

... .. ... .. ...

"For most Christians, taking in anyone in need, even one's own family, is a radical step.  Many who say they follow Christ have no comprehension of the basics of hospitality.  We have allowed the world to squeeze us into its mold.  We think in terms of entertaining as a woman's chance to demonstrate her skill and the quality of her home.  Entertaining has little to do with real hospitality.

Secular entertaining is a terrible bondage.  Its source is human pride.  Demanding perfection, fostering the urge to impress, it is a rigorous taskmaster that enslaves.  In contrast, scriptural hospitality is a freedom that liberates.

Entertaining says, "I want to impress you with my beautiful home, my clever decorating, my gourmet cooking."  Hospitality, however, seeks to minister.  It says, "This home is not mine.  It is truly a gift from my Master.  I am his servant, and I use it as he desires."  Hospitality does not try to impress but to serve.

Entertaining always puts things before people.  "As soon as I get the house finished, the living room decorated, my place settings complete, my housework done--then I will start having people in."  "The So-and-so's are coming.  I must buy that new such-and-such before they come."  Hospitality, however, puts people before things.  "We have no furniture; we'll eat on the floor."  "The decorating may never get done.  Please come just the same."  "The house is a mess, but these people are friends.  We never get to see them.  Let's have this time together anyway."

Because we are afraid to allow people to see us as we really are, we welcome the false ideal of entertaining.  To perpetuate the illusion we must pretend we love housework, we never put our hair in rollers, our children are so well disciplined that they always pick up their toys.  We must hint broadly that we manage our busy lives without difficulty.  Working hard to keep people from recognizing our weak points, we also prevent them from loving us in our weaknesses.

Because hospitality has put away its pride, it doesn't care if other people see our humanness.  Because we are maintaining no false pretensions, people relax and feel that perhaps we can be friends.  

Entertaining subtly declares, "This is mine--these rooms, these adornments.  This is an expression of my personality.  It is an extension of who and what I am.  Look, please, and admire."  Hospitality whispers, "What is mine is yours."  Here is the secret of community that is all but lost to the church of today.  "And all who believed were together and had all things in common" (Acts 2:44).  The hospitality of that first-century church clearly said, "What's mine is yours."

Entertainment looks for a payment--the words "My, isn't she a remarkable hostess"; a return dinner invitation; a job advancement for self or spouse; esteem in the eyes of friends and neighbors.  Hospitality does everything with no thought of reward but takes pleasure in the joy of giving, doing, loving, and serving."

... .. ... .. ...

You know, since we have been living in our "temporary home" we have used up a ton of paper products.  It's what we are using on a daily basis and it's what we use to serve our guests.  There's something relaxing about it.  I mean, what concern can you really have about impressing anyone when you are serving on paper?  It's been fun and it helps me to realize, yet again, how little things like that really matter.  Our focus has been on people.  Getting to know them, spending time with them and really just sharing our lives in the time that we have together.

Whether we have a little or a lot, our focus should be on souls, not our stuff or the stuff we wish we could have.  What wonderful things could God just be waiting to do through you if you would just open up your home to others?  How long has it been?  What is holding you back?  Stained carpet, lack of space?  Don't let those things hinder you from serving God.  Reach out to others with what you have.  The greatest gift you can impart is the not the dinnerware or the impressive decorating.  No, it is not some thing that money can buy, it is a heart that is inclined to love others in the same wonderful way that God has loved you.  What better way to love and show that you genuinely care for someone than to invite them into your home with an open heart?

"Show hospitality to one another without grumbling."  1 Peter 4:9

"Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality."  Romans 12:13

"When you wish upon a star..."

Ok, so you're probably wondering where on earth I am going with this post.  Right?  Well, I won't keep you in suspense.  I read something about God and about prayer that I wanted to share with you before I go to bed and close my eyes...though I can assure you that I will not be wishing upon any stars.  Wouldn't that be idolatrous?  The sad thing is that our way of thinking is often idolatrous.  Sure, we believe in God and we pray...but how do we respond when the outcome is not what we were asking for?

Perhaps you've experienced something similar to what I have...you know, when you think you know better than God does?  Have you ever cried bitter tears because God's answer was "No"?  Have you questioned his wisdom?  I have been there.  It's tough to admit but in the course of the past year alone, I have thought several times that my ideas of the way things should go were better than the way God was doing them.  What little faith!  What meager understanding!  Sometimes, from our point of view, we can think we have the perfect plan all figured out...and when God's plans are different, we are disappointed.  How much we have to learn about trusting our great and awesome God!

Here is that quote from a book I just started reading by Bryan Chapell called "Praying Backwards".

"Two problems immediately arise when we treat prayer like a surefire wishing star.  First, we limit God by the wisdom of our wishes.  If God were really obligated to do what we think should happen, then God would be tethered to the leash of our understanding.  Our wishes would fence God's omniscience within the limits of our brain and restrict his plans to the extent of our insight.  But if our wisdom defines the limits of God's, then our world will inevitably unravel.  The job we may want for extra income may take us from the family that God knows needs us more.  The immediate cure for our sickness may deny doctors an insight that would save millions or may deprive us of the patience that God will use to bring Jesus into the hearts of our children.  We must trust God more than our wishes or concede that our world will be controlled by billions of competing wishes that we have neither the power nor the wisdom to control...

...The godliest and most prayerful people know from experience the meaning of disappointment, grief, failure, rejection, betrayal, incapacity, and illness.  In this fallen world you cannot avoid suffering; you can have peace in the midst of it.  You cannot avoid trials; you can have confidence of their purpose.  You cannot bind God by your prayers; you can guarantee his blessing.  You cannot direct the will of God; you can pray according to his will and rest in the assurance of his love.  You can pray knowing that God will marshal the powers of heaven to accomplish on earth all he knows is best for your eternity."

Be encouraged.  Things may not be turning out as you thought they would but God has not forgotten about you.  His wisdom and power are infinite and he is working out his plans for your life.  

God knows far better than we do what will be best for his dear children.  We can trust him completely.

Recovering with some essentials and a quote to consider from "Revival"

Yesterday, most of my day was spent with my head on a pillow and my nose in a book.  I think I have some sort of sinus infection.  It involves a splitting headache, which results in much sleeping and using up almost an entire box of tissues.  Hats off to my two oldest daughters who pretty much "held down the fort" while I started out my day sleeping late in the trailer and then trying to parent as much as possible from the "confines" of a couch.

When you are resting and trying to overcome illness it is always good to have some trusty "companions".  In those moments when I was experiencing some relief from my sinuses and headaches, I could actually manage sitting up for a while.  That is when I crocheted some stitches in the baby blanket I'm making for our little guy coming in November.  Then, there would come the point when the headache worsened and the pillow beckoned and it was time to lay down and write in my prayer journal or read from the pages of this amazing book.  Martyn Lloyd-Jones really hits the nail on the head with so many of the issues that churches were and are dealing with.  Though these sermons were given in 1959, much of what he says is relevant today and resonates with what I have experienced and been exposed to on a minor scale and to some degree in my own life.  Perhaps we have all fallen prey to majoring on the minors at some point in our Christian walk?  I love that he stresses that the issues in the church begin with each of us as individuals and our own personal walk with the Lord.  That, after all, is certainly the place to start.  May he give us grace and wisdom to put first things first.

The following quote is a little lengthy, but I hope that you take away some insight and that considering it will be worthwhile and helpful to you as you seek to serve God in the church family he has placed you in.


"If we lack a balance in the scriptural proportion of doctrines we shall find ourselves becoming dry and arid and useless.  As the Apostle Paul puts it, "Knowledge puffeth up, but charity edifieth - builds up (1 Cor. 8:1).  And there is nothing in which this is more likely to take place than in a lack of balance with respect to doctrines - in an excessive emphasis on certain aspects of truth, so that they monopolise the whole of our attention.

This is not just my opinion.  Read the history of the Church and you will find that invariably this error has led to that result.  Read the New Testament, was that not the trouble with which the Apostle deals in Romans 14?  There were certain people who were saying that nothing mattered but this question of eating meats.  They were talking about it day and night, whenever you met them they brought it into the conversation.  This was the thing.  They were dividing the church and they were condemning one another.  But look here, says Paul, that is not the the Kingdom of God!  'The kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost (Rom. 14:15).

Here then, is something of which we must always be aware.  This is the subtle temptation that the Devil always brings to those who are alive and alert spiritually, and rightly concerned about doctrine.  I have no hesitation in asserting that there are large numbers of people who have been so over-concerned with the question of prophecy that they themselves have become dry and useless.  And there are churches of which that is true.  The whole of their time is spent upon prophecy.  Whenever you meet them the first thing they talk about is 'Have you seen this item in the news?  Don't you see that that is a fulfilment...?'  And the whole time they are occupied with times and seasons.  Prophecy absorbs the whole of their attention.  They very rarely talk to you about the Lord Jesus Christ.  They rarely tell you about the experiences they have had with him.  They do not give you the impression that they are holy, sanctified people.  No, they are just experts on the times and seasons...

...Now these are all ways of quenching the Spirit.  You must not exalt to the primary and the central position matters which belong to the periphery.  I ask you, therefore, to examine yourself with regard to your interest in doctrine.  Do your doctrines conceal the Persons?  Are you maintaining a balance and a right and a due proportion?  What is the first thing you talk about when you meet people?  Do you give them the impression that you are a man (or woman) who has one idea and lives for one doctrine only, or do you give the impression that you know God and the Lord Jesus Christ, and are having business and transactions with them?  Do you give an impression that there is love in you heart, the love of God that is drawing people to him, and making them anxious to know him even as you know him?  Oh, there is nothing so tragic as this foolish lack of balance.  The history of the Church, the history of revivals, shows so clearly that when people go off at tangents, as it were, and are monopolised by one thing, the Spirit is always quenched and the work is always hindered.  Let us pray for balance.  Let us pray for sanity.  We have not received 'the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind'. (2 Tim. 1:7)  Discipline, balance, order.  Let us, therefore examine ourselves as we look at these things...

...What is fatal is to be contentious, to develop a party spirit, to put up labels, and to be more concerned about the label than about the Lord Jesus Christ himself.  That is contentiousness, like the man who always brings the same matter up the moment you meet him.  It does not matter what you say about the glory of God and Christ's blood, he will say, 'Ah, but you have not emphasised this,'-something that he is particularly interested in, and which is not absolutely essential to salvation.  Contentiousness.

We must always be careful about these things.  It is because we are concerned about the truth that the Devil, in order to wreck it all, will press us beyond measure, and bring us into this position where we are quenching the Spirit.  I could add pettiness and quarrelling, self-importance.  You know the Christian Church is riddled with this sort of thing.  And how can you expect the blessing of God upon it?  I know churches, little churches, struggling to keep going, but the whole situation is ruined by smallness, jealousy and envy, and self-importance.  Then I can add to that triviality and busyness, instead of holiness and being concerned to be ready to be used of God."

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Shouldn't that be our main concern?  To live holy lives, always seeking to serve and honor the God who has brought us together into one family by his the shed blood of his Son.  And to love one another as he has loved us...

"By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."  
John 13:35

An eventful trip to the laundromat

Yesterday was momentous.  My husband and I made our first trip to a laundromat in about 16 years.  Sure, it's not exactly every one's "ideal" experience.  But I am really seeing the benefits.

For one thing, we washed four loads of laundry at the same time.  I finally got the change machine to work and it pumped out twenty dollars in quarters for us (for some reason, it didn't like my other bills).

During the washing I sat with my husband in bright orange chairs and we drank our cokes.  In between sips I read some of the passages I had marked in a book I am reading, "Revival" by Martin Lloyd-Jones.  I am really gleaning from this book and being challenged, motivated and encouraged.

It wasn't the quietest atmosphere...with little children running around and the coins clanking out of the coin machine but it was refreshing to sit and chat...it was a date in a sense.

It came to a point, as we were waiting for our clothes to finish drying, that a young man came in to do his laundry.  We had friendly conversation with him.  We were getting to know him, he knew we were new to the area but the reason why we had come was not yet stated.  It's important to us that when we first meet someone that we allow a little time for them to see us as real people.  People that they can talk to, interact with, laugh with and most of all that we genuinely care about them.  And that we will listen to them share about themselves. We are not trying to hide who we are, it's just that mentioning that we are pastor and pastor's wife right off the bat can really tend to shut people down and turn them away.

So we waited until he asked the question.  And it was an exciting transition in the conversation because I knew that I did not want to leave that day without extending ourselves to this man.  An invitation to church or just to get together with he and his wife for a cup of coffee and to talk.  And my husband did just that.  And this young man seemed very interested in getting in touch with us again.  It's not about just getting him in through the church door though, it's about developing a relationship with him and showing him that Christ loves him too.  Although, he did show great interest in coming to our church.

My husband had the opportunity of sharing the gospel with him right there in the laundromat.  I still remember early on in the conversation that the man was saying that he had never really been to church and I remember part of my husband's response to him.

"Anyone can change..."  Wow, what a statement full of hope!  It doesn't matter if you've never had a single thought toward God your whole life through.  This is not some exclusive club that you cannot gain entrance into.  I used to think that, you know.  And thank God he didn't turn my desperate soul away!  God invites all to turn to him and receive forgiveness and eternal life through faith in Christ.

The true light, which gives light to everyone, was coming into the world.  He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him.  He came to his own and his own people did not receive him.  But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.  John 1:9-13

When my husband and I got in the car to leave, we were both smiling from ear to ear.  "That was awesome!" I exclaimed.

I just love the beauty of the gospel!  Don't you?

Pray for this man, his wife and their newborn baby boy.  I sure do hope to meet them, and see this man again in the near future!

Isabel is lovin' it

The wonderful thing about living in a preschool building is that you have a really cool playground right there in your backyard.  

And that gets this little girl pretty excited!

We are blessed.

Driving across the country and being reminded of God's greatness

There's something wonderful about driving through the vast open country.  Especially those parts that are uncluttered by man-made structures such as buildings or billboards.  The occasional billboard just seemed so out of place and only served to get in the way of the spectacular view.  Only when we were looking for a place to eat or a rest stop to stretch our legs and let the kids run and play. were we glad to have signs pointing out the way.

The bluest skies, filled with puffy, white clouds were a constant reminder of the greatness of God.  And the rolling hills, towering mountains and even the flat plains stretching as far as the eye could see, caused me to reflect on how big this earth, this world and especially my God really are.

It was often a time of worship, reflection and praise as I drove along in my car.

I was only occasionally interrupted by the cries of a certain little sweetie who could only take so much of sitting still in a car seat.  Although a DVD player, juice cup, blankee, pacy, and all the snacks a little girl could possibly want were constantly provided, there just comes a point where a rest stop is the only thing a mom can dream about.  Isabel did surprisingly well on this trip.  She was such a trooper!

I was reminded again of God's greatness this past Sunday evening, as our small group gathered to share a time of prayer and testimonies.  A man prayed for the sale of our home in South Carolina.  During his prayer he acknowledged that God does indeed "own the cattle on a thousand hills" (Psalm 50:10).  My heart swelled to think of the truth of it and of God's majesty.  All of the earth and everything in it belongs to our God!  It is not too hard a thing for him to provide a buyer for our house or to do anything else for that matter.

I thought of all the cattle we saw on our drive on Interstate 80.  Cattle that dotted the many hills spread out within our view.  Though we drove from east to west, I don't think I saw anywhere close to a thousand hills or even a hundred hills with cattle.  Bur how vast and how numerous are the many things that are under the care and watchful eye of God!

{California}

Remember how great God is and how everything he chooses to do in your life is motivated by the most amazing love and goodness you can possibly imagine.

You are good and do good; 

teach me your statutes.

Psalm 119:68