{pt. 2 of this series: Competing or completing?}
{pt. 3 of this series: From the inside, out}
{pt. 4 of this series: Hoping in God}
"...And you are her children (Sarah's), if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening."
1 Peter 3: 6
"Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue
from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil
and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it.
For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer.
But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil." 1 Peter 3: 9-12
The Bible says that "Abraham believed God, and it was counted to him as righteousness"--and he was called a friend of God (James 2:23). Abraham had some triumphs in his faith. He also faced trials and weakness of faith. He and Sarah were learning to trust in a sovereign God. Just as you and I are.
Yes, Abraham was a godly man, but let's not put him up on a spiritual pedestal and think that he always did the right thing making it easy for Sarah to follow his lead. I'm sure it was difficult for her to follow his lead when he told her they had to pack up and move to some unknown place that God would lead them to. Abraham was trusting God and believing the promise that God had made. In that case, it was right for Sarah to submit. But what about the trials that came up along the way? Abraham did not always make the right choices. It's not always easy to trust, especially when things look pretty bleak from your perspective and fears overwhelm you.
Have you ever been in a situation where you feared for your life? Maybe not quite that extreme. What about fearing what might happen? Even more difficult, what about fearing what might happen if you do the right thing?
There was a famine in the land and Abraham faced a very difficult situation when they journeyed into Egypt. He feared the Egyptians would kill him in order to take his beautiful wife Sarah. The possibility of this happening was very real and understandably caused great concern for Abraham. As they were about to enter Egypt, he shared his concerns with Sarah. He told her to lie about being his wife. He told her to just say she was his sister so that things would go well for him and his life would be spared. (See Genesis 12)
There are some that teach that Sarah did the right thing by "being quiet" and going along with this plan to deceive. Yes, in the end Abraham's life was spared and God intervened to rescue Sarah from Pharaoh's harem. But does that mean that when our husbands are telling us to sin that we should just willingly submit and consider it a godly thing that we are being "quiet" and doing what he says? The scriptures do not endorse this.
We have no record of how Sarah responded when Abraham asked her to lie in this case. She seems to have gone along with what he wanted to do. My point is that this account should not be used to justify a woman keeping silent in the face of her husband's sin or plans to sin. Sarah had the opportunity here to respectfully and lovingly direct her husband's gaze to God. To remind him of God's promises. To tell him that it would be wrong to lie. To encourage him to do the right thing and let God take care of the rest.
Perhaps Sarah could have spared them both the grief and embarrassment that followed as a result of this deception. Sarah was taken into Pharaoh's harem and though Abraham was treated well, he ends up being rebuked by an ungodly king. After God intervened and plagued Pharaoh's house because of the fact that Sarah had been taken, Pharaoh called to Abraham and says...
Yes, Abraham was a godly man, but let's not put him up on a spiritual pedestal and think that he always did the right thing making it easy for Sarah to follow his lead. I'm sure it was difficult for her to follow his lead when he told her they had to pack up and move to some unknown place that God would lead them to. Abraham was trusting God and believing the promise that God had made. In that case, it was right for Sarah to submit. But what about the trials that came up along the way? Abraham did not always make the right choices. It's not always easy to trust, especially when things look pretty bleak from your perspective and fears overwhelm you.
Have you ever been in a situation where you feared for your life? Maybe not quite that extreme. What about fearing what might happen? Even more difficult, what about fearing what might happen if you do the right thing?
There are some that teach that Sarah did the right thing by "being quiet" and going along with this plan to deceive. Yes, in the end Abraham's life was spared and God intervened to rescue Sarah from Pharaoh's harem. But does that mean that when our husbands are telling us to sin that we should just willingly submit and consider it a godly thing that we are being "quiet" and doing what he says? The scriptures do not endorse this.
We have no record of how Sarah responded when Abraham asked her to lie in this case. She seems to have gone along with what he wanted to do. My point is that this account should not be used to justify a woman keeping silent in the face of her husband's sin or plans to sin. Sarah had the opportunity here to respectfully and lovingly direct her husband's gaze to God. To remind him of God's promises. To tell him that it would be wrong to lie. To encourage him to do the right thing and let God take care of the rest.
Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what
is good?
But even if you should suffer for righteousness sake,
you will be blessed.
Have no fear of them, nor be troubled,
but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being
prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for the
reason for the hope that is in you;
yet do it with gentleness and
respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered,
those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to
shame.
For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should
be God's will, than for doing evil. 1 Peter 3:13-17
Perhaps Sarah could have spared them both the grief and embarrassment that followed as a result of this deception. Sarah was taken into Pharaoh's harem and though Abraham was treated well, he ends up being rebuked by an ungodly king. After God intervened and plagued Pharaoh's house because of the fact that Sarah had been taken, Pharaoh called to Abraham and says...
"What is this you have done to me? Why did you not tell
me she was your wife? Why did you say, 'She is my sister,'
so that I took her for my wife? Now then, here is your
wife; take her and go." Genesis 12:18-19
If wives are to be subject (submissive) to their husbands and at the same time, have conduct that is respectful, pure, and holy, then they must do what is right by God as they submit. If wives are to hope in God and do good without fearing anything that is frightening, there are some principles of Scripture that we must keep in mind and practice.
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander
be put away from you along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32
be put away from you along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32
...do not be partners with them (people who are sinning) for at one time you
were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light
(for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try
to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the unfruitful works
of darkness, but instead expose them. Ephesians 5:7-11
Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual
should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch
on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Galatians 6:1
[re-posted from the archives of my former blog // dated 9.26.2011]
Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual
should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch
on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Galatians 6:1
As Christians, it should be our passion to take part in the ministry of reconciliation. To those who don't know Christ, to lead them to him, so that they can be reconciled to God and receive the salvation he offers. To those of us who have placed our faith in Christ alone for salvation as well, because we will sometimes falter along the way. We are all susceptible to giving in to temptation and getting off of the right track with God. When this is the case, we need to be restored. God mercifully uses others in our lives to help in this process. We have many different relationships in which this takes place and the husband/wife relationship is no exception.
Remember that "speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ..." (Ephesians 5:15) Speaking the truth in love is something that you should take time to prepare your heart for. Make sure that you are not retaliating in anger. Take time to examine your own heart.
As wives, we have to be careful that we are not being a nag. A nag always seems to find fault with what her husband is doing. She scolds and complains and is a source of annoyance to her husband.
It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman. Prov. 21:19
It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.
Prov. 25:24
A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike. Prov. 27:15
Consider how you approach your husband. Is it respectful or is it destructive? Are you tearing him down or are you showing genuine love and concern? Is your aim to give him a tongue lashing or to build him up in love as you speak the truth? As I write this, I think of all the times I have failed to approach my husband in the right way. I have seen how ineffective it is and how it seems to only make things worse.
If you are angry with your husband, take time to pray before you speak to him. Give it all to God. Seriously, I have found that it is better to tell God how annoyed I am and work through my emotions with God's help, than it is to annoy my husband and complain to him. My time in prayer with God equips me to approach my husband with a spirit of gentleness, love and respect. It helps me to get my heart right first. Make it a habit to take this time before you approach your husband with an issue and you might just see a difference in the way he responds to you.
If you are angry with your husband, take time to pray before you speak to him. Give it all to God. Seriously, I have found that it is better to tell God how annoyed I am and work through my emotions with God's help, than it is to annoy my husband and complain to him. My time in prayer with God equips me to approach my husband with a spirit of gentleness, love and respect. It helps me to get my heart right first. Make it a habit to take this time before you approach your husband with an issue and you might just see a difference in the way he responds to you.
Above all, remember that it is God who works in your husband "both to will and to work for his good pleasure." (Philippians 2:13) He is not your "project", to be finely crafted into who you want him to be. You can point him to Christ and to the Word, but ultimately it is God who is working. We speak the truth in love in order to encourage our husbands to grow in Christ but it is God who works in his heart. Be very prayerful asking God to work even before you say a word to your husband about it. Amazingly, I have been surprised to find that God often gets to my husband before I do! Give it time, be patient, and let God work in his heart in a way that only he can. That is the only way that brings true and lasting fruit in his life and in yours.
Obviously, there are situations that you simply will not have time to prepare for. They come up suddenly and sometimes without warning. I am amazed at the power of God's Word as it is working. As I study the Scriptures, my mind is renewed. I begin to see things from God's perspective, instead of my own limited one. The time that I spend thinking about what his Word says...changes me. I will never forget these lessons from 1 Peter 3. I know the road ahead of me will not be easy, but I also know God's heart for me as a wife. I will have many opportunities to apply what I have learned here.
Will I obey God and follow his plan for me as a wife who submits to my husband? Or will I be bent on getting my own way even if I have to fight for it? I think it's clear which choice would honor God most.
Obviously, there are situations that you simply will not have time to prepare for. They come up suddenly and sometimes without warning. I am amazed at the power of God's Word as it is working. As I study the Scriptures, my mind is renewed. I begin to see things from God's perspective, instead of my own limited one. The time that I spend thinking about what his Word says...changes me. I will never forget these lessons from 1 Peter 3. I know the road ahead of me will not be easy, but I also know God's heart for me as a wife. I will have many opportunities to apply what I have learned here.
Will I obey God and follow his plan for me as a wife who submits to my husband? Or will I be bent on getting my own way even if I have to fight for it? I think it's clear which choice would honor God most.
[re-posted from the archives of my former blog // dated 9.26.2011]
No comments:
Post a Comment