Excuses we give for not going to church

There is nothing quite like reading on a rainy day.  Especially when you read something you really appreciate.  I want to share an excerpt from the book I am reading titled "Addictions" by Edward T. Welch.  

Before I do though, let me just say that a part of me wishes that this book had a different title because I think that many people might see that title and not pick it up since they don't drink or do drugs.  But the wisdom contained in this book applies to every believer.  As the author says: "The thing that drives addictions can be found in every human heart.  For example, we all have had experience with unruly desires that don't take no for an answer."  The good news is that for those who have placed their faith in Christ, there is always the possibility of escape from those temptations because our ever-faithful God stands ready to help us. (1 Cor. 10:13)

With that said, on to the excerpt.  This is from a chapter toward the end of the book titled "Being Part of the Body".  He covers some common reasons why people avoid going to church and meeting with God's people.  (The author's words will be in bold and all other comments are mine.) 

"The local church is the prominent means by which God gives grace to us.  It is an imperfect group that meets together for worship, teaching, prayer and fellowship.  There is no question that every local church can be critiqued for a number of reasons, and if you struggle with addictions, you will probably see many weaknesses immediately.  This should make it that much more attractive, because it says that God welcomes imperfect people and he has purposes for them.

One of the basic principles in AA is that if you don't want to go to a meeting, then you must go to a meeting.  A similar principle exists for the church, except God himself has determined that we should meet with each other (Heb. 10:25).  If you feel like you don't want to be with God's people in the church, then you must go to church.

What are some of your rationalizations for not meeting with God's people?

• "They don't understand."
• "I don't fit in there."
• "They are a bunch of hypocrites."
• "I just don't feel comfortable in church."

Be alert.  This is warfare in progress.  Satan starts with a kernel of truth (there is some truth in most rationalizations), and he uses it to hurt you.  Be on guard against these lies and be prepared to combat them.

• "They don't understand."  Yes, they may not understand what I have been through.  But I don't understand what they have been through either.  I have to remember: this isn't just about me.  It is about knowing and loving God and knowing and loving others.

To think of ourselves when it comes to serving God, totally goes against what it truly means to be a Christian.  Here are some helpful verses: 

We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves.  Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up.  Rom. 15:1-2

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.  Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.  Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.  Phil. 2:2-4

And he (Jesus) answered, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.  Luke 10:27

• "I don't fit in."  That's true; there may be no official, former addicts here.  No one has my exact background.  But this is a group of sinners seeking Christ, and the Spirit is present when people meet in the name of Jesus.  If I don't fit in here, I am in trouble.

I wrote about this struggle here: Finally belonging.  We can experience the same struggle for different reasons.  But it is self-centered at it's core.  I know, there are emotions involved here, but when we begin to allow our focus to turn inward we lose focus on what God wants us to do and on how we can love other people.

• "They are a bunch of hypocrites."  I can't believe I have stooped to that excuse!  I am losing my creativity!  If there are some hypocrites there, then I should fit in just fine.

Wow, who hasn't heard this one?  It's the classic excuse for not getting involved in a church, put the blame on everybody else.  Granted, there are churches where people do not desire to follow Christ and obey his Word.  There are churches where what the pastor preaches from the pulpit is a far cry from the way he lives throughout the week.  But those are not good churches and hopefully a better one is available for you.  Remember, if your focus is on serving God and others, the fact that there are people who live hypocritically attending the church should not hinder you from wholehearted service.  And just think of what a great example you can be to them!

On another note, perhaps we are all hypocrites at one time or another.  There are two definitions to the word hypocrite.  One is: a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion.  And the second is: a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings.  In reality, there are times when we try to appear better than we are.  It can be subtle or overt.  It is a nasty thing for one to act is if they are a Christian when they are really not.  But we cannot put genuine believers on such a high pedestal that we expect them to never fail honor the Lord.  Really, who would hold themselves to that standard?  We are all in need of grace and mercy.

• "I just don't feel comfortable in church."  Of course I don't always feel comfortable in church.  It's not a bar (or a club) and it usually doesn't smell of stale cigarette smoke.  But since God is the One who tells me to meet with his people, this is going to be one of the first times I do what I believe is right rather than do what I feel.

When you meet with Christians, remember that these are your brothers and sisters.  You will be spending eternity with them.  

This place should not be like what you are "used to".  God should not be like what you are used to either.  God is holy and as his people we should be striving to live holy lives.  God doesn't want our life to look just like the life of a person who doesn't have his Spirit indwelling their heart.  God doesn't want our churches to be just like a place where the Spirit of God cannot abide.  And as the word holy is defined, our God is "exalted and worthy of complete devotion as one perfect in goodness and righteousness."

People who have struggled with addictions can be great blessings to the church.  They are open about their past struggles.  They know they are sinners, and they are usually willing to tell you the sins with which they presently struggle.  They want practical teaching.  They are real and down-to-earth.  Since they once wore masks and hid behind lies, they can usually tell when you are.  And they know they need Jesus."

He goes on to say that as we help someone who has struggled with addiction, we should "have a vision for some of the many gifts he will bring to the body of Christ."

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.  Once you were not a people, but now you are God's people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.  1 Peter 2:9-10

Want to read more on a similar topic?

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"I just don't feel like I need church"

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Speak up
The difficulty of not getting what you expected
Stop looking for the "perfect church"
Whenever the doors are open we make a decision